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This is what I did the last two days, instead of creating a podcast. It involved re-arranging the whole apartment.
Everything is so time consuming! I’m doing some modest Xmas shopping for family, meeting with the bank and the bookkeeper for year end stuff.
Not to mention the added social opportunities of the holiday season!
I hope you all are enjoying yourselves.
The bit of internetting I am doing is twitter and Facebook – I’m getting quite good at twitter, actually! Please join me there too! Links in the sidebar to the left!
So much love, Kate
I have several half-written blog posts, and a half-produced podcast.
SO MUCH is happening behind the scenes, and I’m doing more readings a week than I’ve ever done before.
You know what! I’VE CAUGHT UP MY READING LIST!!! Yes, everyone who requested a reading from November or earlier HAS ALL BEEN DONE!!!
I am so happy about this. I really wanted a “fresh start” in January.
Speaking of January, the New Year Report Cards are BACK and more popular this year! CLICK HERE TO READ MORE
I’m so happy to be caught up, because now I can go back to creating, writing and podcasting *guilt free*!
Thank you for sticking with me :)
I accidentally published the podcast episode TODAY! It was supposed to be scheduled for Tuesday – but once it’s published, it goes out on to twitter, facebook and google plus – so I really should leave it up in case anyone clicks.
*forehead smack* HAPPY WEEKEND! Enjoy your podcast a little early this week!
It’s really one of my favourites so far. I must have posted it early subconsciously… you know, not accidentally at all!
I recorded this one while at the beach, so there is a LOT of interesting sound texture in there, and you can also hear how happy I am to be outside in the sunshine.
This has got to be one of my favourite episodes so far – one of the big blocks people have about developing telepathically and intuitively is “What if I can’t handle the sad things in the animal kingdom / the world if I open up?” Some people feel like they just can’t handle that kind of sensitivity.
Well I’ll tell you how *I* deal with it, and I promise you I am about as bleeding-heart of a tree-hugger as you’ll ever meet!
Arrrrrgh!!!! Wet leg is so gross! I don’t know WHY my brand new Viking rain pants are leaking through the left zipper, but I can not deal with a wet leg all winter! I’m gonna try to duct tape the seams, but that’s a temporary solution at best.
Blog readers, I am requesting a Christmas present:
If you kind readers felt like kicking in a little bit towards a new pair of rain pants, I would so appreciate a little help.
Call it “Kate’s dry thigh fund”!
If you felt so moved to click the “Donate” button and maybe kick in a few bucks, that would make my Christmas drier and thus merrier!
Just a quick Mom Update for those sweethearts who are emailing with inquiries and best wishes:
My Mom is doing really well! Since her second brain surgery, her chemo has been shifted around to a therapy that is a LOT better for her. She sleeps a lot, which is actually a blessing. She was unable to sleep well for most of this year.
She’s feeling much less nauseous than she used to feel on her old therapy. Thank God!
And, AND – she’s feeling like she wants to start driving again. She needs a physician’s clearance again, but my mother’s a cautious person – she wouldn’t be asking about it if she didn’t already feel confident she could do it.
I am so very happy for her, and so grateful that she is steadily regaining quality of life and independence.
I am so fucking lucky.
You know, sure I hurt my back, and it limited what I could do for a while. But I’m getting better quickly. Eight weeks of recovery time is more than I’ve ever needed for a physical injury – because I’ve been fortunate enough to be healthy most of my life. Sure I’d get bugs, migraines, burn out. But I’ve never been seriously ill. Thank God.
Today is a day of counting our many, many blessings.
Well, it’s more like 517 – I failed to notice when the odometer rolled over to 500. Isn’t that cool though? 500 posts! And y’all are still reading them!!! There are people who are starting from the very beginning and have read the entire blog multiple times.
THAT is what makes 500 posts amazing – not that they’ve been written in spare moments, but that you’re reading them.
Thank you for reading. YOU make this blog awesome!
Okay, I’m finally ready to write the follow up to the Inner Demon’s post.
One of the reasons I enjoy working in a hospital so much: it’s incredibly grounding. Grounding, maybe not always in a pleasant, zen way, but in a jarring, gritty, this-shit-is-real-life kind of way.
The positivity movement is a much-needed balance to the hyper-negative news culture we have in North America, and even though I’m as sunny a Mary Sunshine as you’ll ever meet, I’ve always railed against the idea that you can eliminate all pain and discomfort from life through positive attitude, by disallowing negativity to impact your life.
Let me start this piece by stating I firmly believe in the balance of light and dark in life. I believe that joy, love and happiness are as much a part of life as their counter-parts: sorrow, grief and stress.
Yes, we can greatly affect our *experience* of negativity through our faith and attitudes, but we can’t surgically excise negativity from life. I think negativity is something to be embraced, managed, challenges to rise to or difficulties to survive.
I feel it would be a personal moral failing for me to forget there is suffering in the world.
So I work at a hospital. I donate to charity. Every time I do a reading, I say a prayer hoping to make a positive difference to those who ask for my help.
The thing about working at a hospital (animal or human): you have your finger on the pulse of the best and worst in humanity. Although I am not directly involved in patient care, I am *around*, and when there is acute suffering, of course I feel it too.
I feel the emotions the most, especially if I’ve experienced a similar distress in my own life. This would be true for anyone empathetic, anyone who is strong enough still *feel* things in a setting like healthcare, rescue work (human or animal), social work, law enforcement or any other job where shit gets real.
A common practice is to disconnect from what’s happening. During the health care crisis in Ontario in the late 90s, when I did my nursing training after 7 years of volunteer work as a candy-striper, I watched nurses whom I respected and admired burn out and quit. The surviving health care workers were empathetically checked out. They had to be.
This is why I am in awe of the mighty few who remain in nursing, who hold the hand of a patient in distress and cry tears of empathy – and show up for work the next day.
After just one year of training, I was burnt out too. Despite my excellent grades and the counseling from the teachers and nursing supervisors, I felt I couldn’t continue. I did a search of the blog and it looks like I haven’t yet told you guys about the day I quit nursing. Someone please remind me to tell that story down the line.
So why suffering? And what the fuck are Demons anyway?
I received a really sweet email from a reader who suggested that rather than using the word “demon” that I use “entity” instead. Let me explain the differences I perceive, based on my personal experience.
So far, my understanding of the Garden of Shadows has become a loose classification of the individual types of beings I’ve encountered. Critters, Entities and Demons.
If you’d asked me last month, I would only have talked about Critters and Entities, the low-vibration life forms that recycle the energy imprint of negativity into neutrality.
Okay, wait, let me back up a bit more.
Picture a house. Now, picture a married couple in that house. The husband and wife fight, a lot. Then one of their kids is killed in an accident. The marriage collapses under the pressure, the couple moves out and the house goes on the real-estate market, but sits empty.
Nothing has been done to clear this house, energetically, so the thing sits on the market. People walk into this house, but it just doesn’t feel right. There’s something about it. They don’t like it.
What the potential buyers perceive is the energetic imprint left by the emotion of the former occupants.
That energetic imprint has altered the energy eco-system in the house.
Our eco-system goes far beyond the physical environment we experience with our bodies. The energy we put out into our environment is like adding an essential oil to a big bath tub, and it changes what energetic organisms thrive in this environment.
In a place where the atmosphere has been altered through pain, the critters who thrive off of that will be pulled in. This is perfect. Under normal circumstances they just transmute the energy to neutral through feeding on it, and they move on. When I perceive critters, I usually see them as insect-like, doing their composting duties.
But if there is a location rich enough in pain that they want to stick around, you can end up with an infestation.
Let’s say this house is purchased by another happy couple. The day they move in, they have a fight. The stress inexplicably continues as they wait for things to even out. One bad thing after another seems to happen, and finally one of them is injured. The injured partner generates more stress and sadness for the critters to feed upon. The critters multiply, and their increasing numbers enhances the subtle negative energy of the whole house. It becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. The critters become parasite-ish. Insects in small numbers are normal and healthy, but an imbalance of insects is a plague. Think locusts, cockroaches, tapeworms. Very unhealthy indeed.
The humans start to get depressed, which is expressed in irritation towards each other. Within two years, this happy marriage is on the rocks.
When I was growing up, I lived across the street from a place we called “the divorce house.” Every two years, this place would go on the market. A happy family would move in, break apart and sell the house.
You’d think the real estate agents would be the biggest clients of psychics and priests offering house-clearing services… but then, if the house stayed off the market, the realtor would have less opportunity for commission. (I have not extinguished my inner cynic!)
Once a place is swarming with critters, it starts to invite entities. Entities can also hitch-hike in on resident humans. Just like lice, scabies or the flu, humans can transmit sad parasites back and forth to each other. Entities have more of a discerning consciousness than critters. I perceive them as monkey-like, making conscious choices about what to do and where to be and who they latch on to.
Entities are more proactive about their environment, and they actively incite the sort of energy they feed off of. They like to garden.
Entities love to hang out with depressed and ill people, especially if there’s a chronic illness that’s associated with a lot of shame or emotional trauma.
An entity hitch-hiked into our house, once. We discovered it after our guest left, and it decided to hang out in the “sad room” of our Ucluelet house. This room, we later found out, was where the property owner’s son accidentally / intentionally ended his own life. I was kind of pissed the property manager hadn’t alerted us to this event, which had traumatized not just the family, but the whole town, and all of that sorrow had rained upon our living space for over a decade.
This little creature was hanging out in the top corner of the house, and I noticed him only as a movement in the corner of my eye. I slipped into medium mode and THEN I was able to “see” him.
I do not deal with these sorts of things myself. We called in the angels to take care of it, and they did. Immediately. We were then advised by the “cleaning crew” to cut open an apple and leave it on a plate, cut side up, overnight to absorb the remaining energy and then dispose of it the next day.
I don’t like to waste food, but this is a really neat trick. It worked well. In general, I burn candles, use salt, rocks, holy water, bells, cleaning, smudging, prayer – but never before a cut apple. The ways to energetically clean your house are endless.
I have since believed that this creature, this monkey-like entity must be what they’re talking about when people say “demon”.
Now, I’m going to tell you *how* this new information came to me:
I had just finished my third and final reading of the day. I was positively *high* on energy. The usual two-inch thick stream of warm energy I usually feel down my spine during readings had expanded into this four-foot column of warm happy light that enveloped my entire body. My very being was pulsating with energy and love.
This doesn’t happen every time I do readings, and this was the most powerful experience of the universal god force that I’ve had to date. I was just so high on love. I felt like I’d never come down, no matter what sadness I witnessed, no matter what happened, it was all love, baby, love envelopes us all.
And then, my mind flashed on a particularly difficult person in our life. I’ve been perplexed by this challenge of a human for quite a while. And then it hit me – and it all made sense. And it was all still part of the perfect love story of existence.
This person was an incarnated demon.
My knowledge and certainty of this was instantaneous and complete – like Neo getting the kung-fu download in the Matrix. It was also completely harmless, non-alarming knowledge. I was filled with understanding, compassion and – get this – renewed RESPECT for this person.
Because – this is so wild – sometimes demons incarnate to shift their pattern – they are going from dark to light!
Isn’t that amazing? They’re transmuting themselves. This is one of the purposes of demon incarnation.
THAT’S NOT EVEN THE CRAZY PART YET!
Some of them are FANTASTICALLY GOOD PEOPLE!
SERIOUSLY!!! I was too zen / full of universal love to have my mind blown by this at the time, but it was blown about six hours later when I came back down to earth.
I was awash with images of religious leaders, teachers and doctors, social workers and nurses, police officers, fire fighters – people devoting their lives to and sacrificing themselves for other people in need of help.
The thing is, no transition is easy. This “dark” nature expresses itself in a variety of ways, and sometimes these demon people are easily corrupted in positions of power. Not just the big, obvious positions of power, but the subtle, day-to-day positions of power.
You know how many incarnated demons end up as priests and ministers? A LOT. They’re working *really hard* and they’re taking their cue from a long and powerful tradition.
An example from my ancient history – when I was working as a temp in Toronto, I had a boss who bullied me. She would find a way to call me fat and stupid every single day of the week… but she had the power to fire me at a moment’s notice, so I couldn’t defend myself until after I was hired on permanently. It took a year and a half of daily office torture before she was finally fired.
This concept suddenly shed light on why some people just can’t resist being assholes, power-mongers or just plain crazy-makers.
They may not even know it themselves, but they feed off of negative energy. They almost can’t help tweaking a situation negatively to get that energetic feedback. For someone working really, really hard at being a good person, a moment of relapse in making a hurtful comment may come as a great relief to them, like letting off steam.
The flip side is the utterly shocking impact this can have on those around the incarnated demon. How could this amazing, wonderful person say / do such a thing? It’s very confusing. It’s almost irreconcilable. Often, it seems easier to just forget what happened or what was said, because it seems impossible to incorporate this information into who you thought this person to be.
Here’s another thing: There are demon SOUL FAMILIES!
Sometimes, they incarnate in groups, over and over into the same family line. And woe to the angelic kid who chooses to be born into a demon family – this happens. This explanation flashed with three separate headlines I’ve read in the past ten years with tragic stories of kids who died at the hands of neglectful and abusive guardians.
Child abuse is such a common tragedy that it doesn’t make the papers unless it’s truly horrific. These are the sorts of things I feel a personal responsibility to witness, to never forget or deny that the innocent suffer in this world.
For the first time, I really started to understand *why*. I could never before reconcile my ideas of a soul incarnation in human form, choosing terrible behavior.
In this blissful, expansive consciousness state, I understood (more completely than I do now, trying to explain it in words) that demons incarnated in human bodies are expressing their nature. They are a part of the ecosystem.
It is not an eternal war between good and evil, harmony and dissonance. It is a dance.
I understood, too, that we really do make a choice. There is the potential for harmony and dissonance within all of us, because we are all related when you come right down to it. Even angels and demons are cousins, incarnated or ethereal.
So what do we do with this knowledge?
I think we use this idea to change our approach. Ever see that episode of Friends with the incompetent naturopath treating Ross’ weird mole or “kundus”?
“You must LOVE the Kundus! Let me hear you say it!” “Uh, I love the Kundus…”
We change our approach to incarnated demons expressing themselves in a harmful manner.
Our whole corrections system is based upon revenge. When someone hurts us, as human beings we want to strike back.
Now, I don’t know what a “loving” judicial system would look like exactly, but I’m sure it would involve less minimum sentences and much more reparative community service.
This humble post isn’t intended to be an answer to the entire world’s problems, it’s just a useful idea. It came to me in a blinding moment of love and happiness, and I will hold it in my heart as truth for the rest of my life.
I’ll let you know how it settles.
Your questions are welcome! I may expand this into a podcast episode.