I received a couple of emails in response to Kurt’s Suicide Revision entry. I thought I’d share them anonymously here, since I know there are other readers struggling with the same issues. Thank you both for your feedback & contributions. I am deeply moved by the experiences you have chosen to share, and I know I’m not the only one who appreciates it.
Sorry to hear you’re not feeling well! I’ve been on the edge of feeling gross myself. Do you think sometimes we get knocked out of commission for a reason? Like, maybe you were supposed to listen to all 15 hours of “Heavier than Heaven.” Damn, I’m sure that WAS disturbing for you.
But I have to say what happened sounds completely in character for Kurt — it’s like he distorts things, but he’s sincere about it. The distorted version is actually his truth, right?
I get it, because years ago, I had similar drug issues and overdosed on heroin (once, not 12 times!). Turned blue, flatlined and everything…and the thing is, after that happens, the people in your life never look at you the same way. (Not that I blame them!) But when you’re the one who overdosed and you want to move on, it gets…frustrating, I guess? You feel like that experience defines you. And you just want to pretend it never happened at all.
A second one:
This entry triggered a past life memory:
I committed suicide around 1817 in Dublin, Ireland as a runaway teenager who had gotten knocked up by her father, got a job at a butcher shop in town by a man who I believed actually cared about me as a person, but who was really after my ass as well.
All I can tell you is that all this suicide business has given us a momentum to help and heal others which would not be anywhere near as powerful had we not experienced it.