One of my friends emailed this picture to me. It’s funny, and oddly appropriate for what’s going on. Just sit and let the craziness swirl around you. Relax!
Last night I finally got back to before-sleep meditation. It’s kind of ridiculous, how long I left it, and waited until I was feeling completely overwhelmed. Yesterday, on my lunch break, I’d actually gotten quite angry and tearful.
“I need this to get easier. I need this to get better, NOW. I’m tired of uncertainty.”
John: Don’t worry, we’ve always taken care of you.
Me: I need this uncertainty to be over.
John: I’m sorry, we can’t (stop the process?)
Then I get this sense of comfort and hear, “It will be fine, have trust, have faith. It will be fine.”
I just wanted to lay down.
I went to Humanity after work yesterday, slumped on the couch and listened to Savage Love podcasts. (Dan Savage is a sex and relationship advice columnist whose entertaining, educational podcasts are also a refreshing, grounding change to most of the psychic & new age podcasts I listen to.) Soon I was only half listening though, because, typically, the music playing in Humanity was the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper album. Of course.
Kyle, fellow Ontarian and good friend approached me, gave me a huge hug without asking what was wrong, and a little kiss on the crown of my head. I guess I was looking rather glum.
“Now, would you like to talk about what’s going on?”
Well, how do you really talk about this? Yeah, Kyle, there are all these spirit connections to people who died in really sad ways and who want to talk about it. Instead, I focused on “real world” stuff. I’m worried about money, about Sweetie’s employment stability, about our 30 year old car holding together.
“Well, what’s wrong with the car?”
“I haven’t changed the oil in forever and the brakes are squeaking. I haven’t had the time or inclination to crawl under the thing to change the oil, and I’m too worried about money to want to look at the brakes right now.”
Great coping skills, me. I just won’t look at the brakes, ha haa!
“I’ve done two years automotive apprenticeship. I could easily change the oil for you, take a look at the brakes.”
Well, damn. Amazing what happens when you ask for a little help. So that’s one worry off my shoulders.
It’s day 6 of three month cleanse, and typical to an elimination diet, stress and emotions I may have not dealt with in the last few years are bubbling up, making small things seem like overwhelming big things. There is also the full moon craziness, the “super moon” phenomenon (the moon is actually physically closer to the earth right now than it usually is, the tides are HUGE) and Venus passed in front of the sun yesterday on its hundred-year promenade around the solar system. I don’t know how exactly these things tie into me feeling tired, prickly and fed up, but I’m sure they do. There’s always this sense of random, busy strangeness the full moon brings to the hospital in general, and the hospital is usually a good barometer for what’s going on in the rest of the community.
Today is 06-06-2012, I wonder if that date is significant in any numerological way? Anyone know?