Well, this’ll be interesting. Now I have two Georges on the roster. I’ll have to refer to George Carlin as Carlin, if that’s cool with you, George.
Naw, you can call the other one Hippy George.
You know, my high school art teacher’s last name was Carlin too.
Well at least one of your teachers knew what the fuck he was doing!
My calculus teacher was pretty cool too.
Was that the fucker with the dauchunds?
Who stretches a dog out like that? You know, that’s a great example of humans playing god. Just to see how much they can fuck things up, exaggerate a creature of nature. Hey, let’s see how long we can make this dog! Let’s make this dog look like a dick! We’ll call it a wiener dog! Fuck you, God!
So you’re doing a double-feature eh, George? You came in really clearly when my friend commented that you’ve also done the interview on Channeling Erik.
(something about a threesome/foursome)
I didn’t get that, George. Was that just so obscene my mind rejected it?
Naw, I kind of fucked that up. Can’t win ‘em every time. You have to be a lot faster up here, you know.
What’s it like up there?
It’s fucking great.
You’re going to say “fuck” in every line, aren’t you?
Fuckin’ right. Still the best word in the English language.
Okay, but you need to help me to make sure this post doesn’t get flagged by the IT people as obscene. Yeah, that’s a conversation I’d rather not have.
I know, but dude, I need to stay employed.
You only THINK you need a fucking job.
George, I need a fucking break! You help us get our income up to $4k a month, and help me get an average of two paying clients a week, consistently, through this winter. Then I’ll be open to moving into self-employment again.
Sweetheart, let me tell you, that bankruptcy was the best goddamned fucking thing to ever happen to you. You aren’t so scared anymore. You gotta learn, the rules – which rules are there just to scare you, just to keep you from becoming who you’re supposed to be. That’s why I love the word “fuck” so much! It’s fucking powerful! Fuck it! Fuck off! FUCK YOU! You gotta learn to say it, to live it!
HA! That’s a lot like what Kurt’s been encouraging us to do – we’ve been joking Kurt’s a bad influence.
That kid is fucking great.
Ha! You know I won’t censor language with those asterisks, eh? Is that why you’re insistent on talking to me now, in conjunction with the channeling erik peeps?
Texans (southerners?) are such fucking hypocrites! They’ll put a retard in the electric chair and kill him for a crime he didn’t commit and can’t understand, but they won’t say fuck. That’s a social-cultural criticism, not a strike against (Elisa, Jamie, Erik) in particular. I just always had a thing for Canadian broads.
I’m a broad now, gee thanks!
Yeah, no one messes with a broad. A chick, you can push around. A broad, that’s just about a bitch. And a lot less uptight than a cunt.
Aww, thanks George! You know we’re reclaiming the word “cunt” though, right? Have you read Inga Musico’s book by that title?
Yeah, tell her I think she’s a sexy bitch.
(He always loved to piss off feminists, but I also don’t think Inga would be offended by that.)
I will, when I see her.
You’ll see her in California. And send her that fucking hat! (Sweetie has been sending hand-knit hats to people we think are cool feminists.)
Yeah, we’ve been talking about going to California. LA, maybe, in February.
You’ll get to LA, but not for a while. No here’s where you need to be in fucking California! (Shows me Yosemite? I’ll know it when I get there.)
George, I’ve been thinking about getting back into stand-up, what do you think?
Gorgeous, you are already are back in stand-up. The whole planet’s the club and our existence is beautiful irony. All you’re doing is pointing it out.
I fucking love you, George Carlin.
I fucking love you too, babe.