A brave few have sent me personal emails from last week’s Sexy Friday entry, and I thought I’d post a few broad questions here. I know that if one person is brave enough to ask, there’s at least one other person wondering the same thing. This entry is not at all psychic, just my own brain and personality rattling off answers. It’s my opinion / take on things, and like everything else in this blog, you’re welcome to take it or leave it as you please.

Is it "possible" to "have a sexual encounter" with a "spirit"? (Don’t you just love how spiritual and metaphysical topics inspire the prolific use of quotation marks?)

I guess it depends on how you define sex. As a queer woman, I’ve already had to redefine sex from what is assumed by abstinence-only sex educators to be the only kind of “real sex” – the baby-making kind. By their standards I’ve been abstaining for years. Once you start including other sorts of activities as sex, the questions begin to snowball, and where do you draw defining the line? Does sex have to include some sort of physical penetration? Is mutual masturbation sex? It’s certainly a sexual activity. Does sex require the other person to be physically in the room? What about phone sex, cyber sex?

I don’t really have a lot of patience for debating labels and definitions, because I think it comes down to what is going on between the person’s ears. If you define yourself as bisexual, for instance, you don’t need to have a same-sex encounter to prove it. You could be a virgin and define yourself however you want. You can define your sex life however you like, too – who cares what anyone else things. You don’t need anyone’s permission or approval, so long as everyone’s consenting.

Is it possible to have sex with a spirit? Well it’s probably the safest sex you’re ever going to have! No STI’s, no pregnancy! I think if you like it, go for it. If you’re not into it, kick them out – and yeah, I have heard of the spirit-version of the creepy old man violating some boundaries. It sounds like energy-parasite behavior. If you ever get frightened of a spirit, or feel like they’re being disrespectful or invasive, all you need to do is call in your angels or spirit friends for help. If you feel vulnerable in any way while you sleep – and I’ve actually had more men than women bring this up to me – then practice casting your psychic protection around the room every day before you sleep. You can imagine / manifest anything you need to feel protected, a bubble of light, super-thick walls of ice-crystal, lasers, force-fields, anything.

I think it’s interesting, since a lot of sex is energy and thought. In that regard, you could have a totally different kind of sex with a spirit, eh? Because they could see what fantasy is playing in your head, whereas a physical partner generally doesn’t know what’s going on behind your eyes unless you clue them in.

On that level, spirit-sex could really feel more intimate than traditionally-defined baby-making sex; the only thing I’d personally guard for is emotional attachment, because there’s only so much you can get from a spirit friend in terms of emotional support. In the long run, is brain-sex going to measure up to your physical and emotional needs? Is it going to keep you from going out and meeting other incarnated human beings, making friends and dating? Will you feel healthy, happy and balanced? Or will you feel isolated and nutty, if not now, how about in a few years?

Sometimes we need to put ourselves through the discomfort of new social situations in order to make friends and find lovers who will keep us warm at night. Besides, there is eternity for spirit sex, you’re only incarnated for a short period of time. You don’t want to miss out on your chance for physical friendship, love and sex with other incarnated beings.

Anyhoodle! Bob Marley, would you like to chime in with any thoughts on sex?

Love, it takes many forms. The physical form of love is very beautiful. (I get this relaxed sense of completion and peace.)

Do you miss it?

(laughs) Love is everywhere! At times, I visit (women?) at night. We make love in beautiful, dream places.

You visit people in their dreams?

Yes, it is a place free of inhibition, of self-doubt, of the blocks of the conscious mind. Love flows freely in these in-between places. (double-entendre intended)

Marley, what do you think people incarnated on earth need to remember about experiencing love physically? It seems to me we forget, sometimes. We let other things get in the way.

You need to remember that you are pure.

Pure like, always virginal?

(Laughs) Yes! There is beauty inside which is never sullied by life experience. This place in your heart can be touched by another person, who knows it is there. What you need to remember is to see this place within yourself, and to find lovers who (see it in you, you see it in them). (Shows me a woman having an orgasm.) This beauty, this pure joy is connection with the life force, a path to God! (Shows me various religions who separate sexuality from religious purity / goodness.)

Me: (Shows Marley religions and cults who use sexuality in creepy ritual.)

Marley: Yes, that is unfortunate. We decide what is sacred, and how we keep sacred.

Is lovemaking a sacred activity?

Yes! The joy, the state (of mind, similar to transcendental meditation) of being is when we remember we are God (we are the whole universe.)

Marley, I think I’ve had out-of-body experiences jump-started by orgasm. Is that what happened?

(Chuckles) You like to sing yourself out of your body! (Shows me how sound, voice and breathing can create a vibration separation between soul-consciousness, that soul bubble, and the physical body.) You can do these things and still remain in the body, the (difference?) is (during orgasm) the mind is open.

How is this state of open mindedness the same, or different, from getting high with weed?

They are the same, and they are different. (I am not understanding this at all.)

Can you show me? (Shows me the orgasm-woman again, and then a man smoking and laughing.)

I don’t understand, how is this the same?

Talk to me again, sometime!

Okay, we’ll try again later. Thanks, Marley.

Folks, honestly, I’m feeling pretty tired today, and I haven’t meditated in days. Come to think of it, that’s probably WHY I’m tired. It’s no wonder, really, that Marley’s having difficulty getting through to me. I will take better care of myself and try again soon.

On another note, I’ve received a few emails about when the next books-for-readings day will be: in the fall, probably October. See, I’ve got a few projects on the go here, including getting the exercises from the intuitive development class recorded and posted, which is something I’ve been wanting to do for months now. Sweetie & I will be moving to a new house closer to the hospital on October 1st, and my parents will be visiting in the last two weeks of September. Karen Hagar is having me back on her radio show on September 5th, and I have a couple of surprises I want to prepare this summer before I go on the show. Most importantly: It’s summer, and I want to make sure I have ample time and energy to enjoy life in this, one of the most beautiful and enchanted places on earth.

In the winter, when it’s raining, there will be plenty of time to be inside spending a day on the phone, so the whale fundraiser and the books-for-readings day will have to wait until then. Fortunately, fun things like that don’t have an expiry date.

Ha! Marley just popped in – he says the summer is for making love, and that is what everyone should be doing in the long, warm, sunny days of summer. (He’s making a point of showing me people by themselves, in couples and in groups to demonstrate the full spectrum of what he means when he says “make love”. He also has another word for it, which I don’t think I’ve heard before so my brain isn’t translating it. Is there a Rastafarian word for this? Ethiopian?)

Have a wonderful weekend, folks. Make lots of love. J