Something happened last Friday that I’ve been having difficulty describing. I’ll just tell you the story.
Sweetie & I were invited to a crystal meditation on a small island off of a beach near town. A little, magical-feeling grove nestled between some old cedars was recently discovered by a local reiki practitioner, who spoke with Candis, the woman who facilitates our crystal meditation, and suggested we go have meditation out there. So on Friday evening, out we went.
You have to walk a short way down a golden, sandy beach famous for beautiful sunsets. When the tide is low, you can walk out to the island. A footpath on to the island is not immediately apparent, concealed by the volcanic rock trailhead, but once you’re on it the path is wide and appears well-used.
The path leads over and under fallen cedar trees until you reach the grove, formed by an unusual arrangement of trees. It looks like the site where huge ancient cedars must have stood, but the original giants have died, or been cut, and all of their body rotted away, claimed by the new trees which grew in their stead. These new trees have unusually long, exposed formations of tangled roots, about five feet high, before the actual tree trunks begin. This is caused either by precise, consistent water erosion, or by the trees beginning life upon massive stumps which rotted away over fifty years. Perhaps both is true. The result is a tangled grove of cedar roots creating a sacred circle at the islands centre.
Really, meditation doesn’t get any more ideal than this.
Candis set up a circle of crystals from her vast collection, and passed around the basket for the group to choose any stone they would like to hold during the meditation. Hernan, my friend, suggested we set a group intention to assist in sanctifying the site.
Alan, a delightful Scottish local and the fellow who found the site, brought buffalo sage to assist with the meditation, and Candis brought white sage. We all passed the burning sage bundles to purify ourselves, our auras, and to request assistance from the spirit world.
And then we meditated. Our group does not use music or any form of guidance, we just close our eyes. I’ve found crystal meditation to be deeply enjoyable; the crystals are definitely doing something to bring focus and clarity to my practice. I’ve been doing this with the group weekly for several months now.
I had selected two crystals, a perfectly clear quartz, and a red quartz, possibly lithium quartz. As I sat, grounded, whispered my mantra in my mind, I was asked to open my eyes.
It’s like I was twelve again. The whole site was surrounded with animals, the spirit kind. Some were the innocuous, darker creatures that clean up negative residual energy, but far more were creatures with high, light feelings about them. I’ve seen fairies, sprites and other forest people before, but never while I was surrounded by other people.
For a while I just sat and followed the activities of the forest creatures with my eyes. I noticed two portals created between the looping branches and tree roots of the grove. Portals to where, I’m uncertain. I didn’t really ask.
Eventually, I was asked to close my eyes again, and I went inward. It was odd, as though I hadn’t closed my eyes – I could still see the forest behind my eyelids. I blinked a few times to be sure. The only thing that changed when I closed my eyes was that my friends, the other humans present, disappeared from sight.
I sat with my eyes closed, and continued to just watch, wait and listen. This meditation was effortless, required no guidance from my own mind, I just sat in passive experience.
Then, something was nudging me, I sensed permission was requested, and I granted it by opening up to the presence, turning towards it. It was like my mind opened its arms to welcome an embrace.
Emotion began to travel into me. Happiness. It built. Lots of happiness, lifetimes’ worth, oceans of joy, building, obscuring, obliterating even the concept of anything else.
“you are welcome here.” great waves of love. It was like a permission was granted to us to occupy this space with spiritual intention, and not just granted, but welcomed with ecstatic joy. The message repeated and repeated, the happiness built until, despite myself, I started to laugh.
So there I am, cackling with helpless abandon, becoming aware of the attention of the others present and the growing need to say something.
I just couldn’t get any words out. I must have looked like a lunatic.
“They are so happy!” I choked out. My throat was thick, my voice sounded different to my own ears, low and hoarse.
“They are so happy!” I repeated, trying to communicate the feelings rolling through me, “they were so sad, ” and the emotion shifted to huge grief, a crushing sadness that punched the breath out of my lungs, and for a minute all I could do was cry.
“but now, they are happy. Again. And it’s like a little baby,” I croaked, describing the image of a just-born infant which appeared in my mind, but the bulk of the message was in the massive, overwhelming waves if emotion.
“we are so welcome.”. I tried to push the emotion I was feeling outward, project it towards the others present, because I could barely speak, barely breathe, and the message was THIS. THIS feeling.
Abruptly, I tripped some sort of circuit breaker. I dropped the crystals and focused on dragging air into my lungs, into this body that seemed too thick and heavy to occupy. Grounding, grounding, I reminded myself, and Sweetie handed me some black obsidian, and Hernan tossed me his raw hematite.
So I came down. I’d of course disrupted everyone’s meditation and so the group effort came to a natural end. Hernan asked me if I could explain what happened, and I tried, just as I’ve tried to write about it here.
I just don’t know how to explain an experience like this.
That was not mediumship, that was something else. I was either lifted into another dimension, or maybe someone from another dimension touched me, communicated through me. Maybe that was my first channeling. I don’t know how to describe it, except to say what it was not: it was different than talking to ghosts, spirits, animals, nature elements or angels. Sometimes I use my body as a tool to translate messages from others, but this was something inside my body. And I have no idea who it is.
I do know that I was not afraid. But I’ve spent the last week feeling as though fear would be an appropriate reaction… I’ve felt uneasy. I’m not scared.