One thing the Buddhist monk talked about was that no one has the power to make you feel a certain way. I’ve heard this before, so it’s not a new concept. You can’t control what others do, you can only control your own reaction, your own perspective. It ties into manifesting your own reality. Part of your experience is the name you give to the experience, which triggers the “appropriate” emotional response. What if you decided something was fun instead of stressful? I’m going to put this little theory into action this month, when my parents arrive in two days for a two week visit that will include Sweetie & I moving.
Have you ever noticed the regression that happens when you visit your family? I sure have. I love my parents and I was very lucky to have the home I grew up in… and there’s a reason you grow up and leave home.
In my case, I ended up following my heart thousands of miles away, and so I haven’t seen my own mother in almost four years. We do talk regularly on the phone, but it’s a different dynamic when you’re back together.
Honestly, I’m a bit stressed out about my parents visiting. They’re coming at the same time we’re moving, so on one hand I’m grateful for the help, but on the other hand I’m worried.
Why am I worried? Well, we base our expectations on past experience, right? Past experience tells me that parents + move + travel = AAAAA!
So instead of allowing myself to anticipate a repeat of past experiences, I’ll do my best to see this as an opportunity to put the theory into practice. Stress and worry is a response I have control over. No one can make me feel that way.
Instead, I want to have fun. I want to have an easy move with lots of help and good humour.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
Meanwhile, I would very much appreciate your support if those of you who are healers could send some love to my knees and back. I’m not in pain or anything, but my knee’s been a bit weak this month, and it’s caused my hip to tighten and hint at tweaking a sciatic nerve. I went to the chiropractor yesterday (great fellow) Sweetie gave me a great massage last night and I’m feeling much better already. I’m aware that I need my body to be strong for the move, because it’ll likely be only Sweetie & me doing the heavy lifting, although Emma said she’d come help if she could take the time from her business and the moving plans of her own.
For now, there will be a brief hiatus from blogging for perhaps two weeks as I entertain my family, pack our belongings and move 50 km north to be within biking distance of the hospital and all of our friends. The new place will also have its own internet access, landline and dish washer so yay!
See you in October!
One thought on “The Parent Challenge”
A book I’d just started to read when my mother passed away was Deborah Tannen’s “You’re Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation”. I wish I’d come across it decades ago, as it might have made our relationship so much more easy. (I love my mother to the ends of the Universe, but we seemed to inadvertently push each other’s buttons in ways no one else did.) Ah, if only controlling your own reaction to things was an easy task.
Good luck with the family visit, and the move.