I had a great chuckle when I read Elisa’s post, Erik gets cornered: http://www.channelingerik.com/erik-gets-cornered/
It reminded me of this post about love and sex in the spirit world, a conversation with John & Kurt last summer: https://psychicintraining.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/kurt-john-lets-talk-about-sex-baby/
I LOVE Elisa’s blog for this kind of thing, and I have to give her props for being brave enough to talk about this stuff. I mean, talking about sex with spirits? That’s a whole other level of crazy. And we have this idea floating around that spirituality and sexuality are on opposite ends of some sort of spectrum. Spirituality is all floaty and ethereal. Sexuality is incarnate and earthy.
I’ll tell you I got a huge response to the June 29th post, and most of it was private emails. People are very guarded about their sexual experiences with spirits, and rightly so. Some people call us crazy just for *speaking* to the dead. The general gyst of the email response was “Thank God! I thought I was nuts!!!”
My general response was to encourage these writers to set healthy boundaries with their spirit lovers. When you’re surrounded by spirit friends, you may forget you need incarnated, “real” friends too.
Yet it’s a very real thing that people experience, and it can cause people to become withdrawn, and socially isolated without actually feeling lonely. It *is* off-balancing for the human. I’ve even encountered women who feel intense anger at other women because they’re experiencing night-time visits from the same spirit. Jealousy of spirit lovers? We’re in a new world now, folks.
Last summer, Sweetie & I experienced a mass exodus of friends from out area. That’s life in a tourist town – a lot of turnover. Just when you feel like you’re building an amazing friendship, they are called to some other part of the world, and you say goodbye. At one point, we didn’t have any friends left in town at all. I turned to Sweetie and said, “We need to make some new friends!”
“What are you talking about,” she replied, incredulous. “We have plenty of friends.”
“Who?” I asked. Sweetie got quiet and grinned. The ones she was thinking of were all dead people.
Yes, it is easy to get comfortable in the companionship of spirit friends. It is too easy to believe, as some people have expressed, that they’d rather stay in this relationship with their spirit lover, than branch out into the human dating world. The “real” world is scary, and it can be tempting to want to write it off. But consider this: why did you come to this earth, and this body, if not to participate in the world?
I think it’s fine to have spirit friends (obviously, as we have many) and spirit lovers too. I don’t think it’s “wrong” – just one of those things you need to approach with some self-evaluation, to stay in balance. If you’re investing all of your time, your romantic energy, if you’re bonding really strongly with someone that most people can’t even see, I do believe you’re creating an imbalance in your life.
The results of that imbalance are unclear. Maybe, after a few years, you experience a draining, a depression. Maybe at the end of your life you find you didn’t accomplish or learn what you set out to do. I don’t know what could happen as a result of isolating yourself in the spirit world.
It reminds me of an episode of “Strange Addictions” I saw while Sweetie and I were stranded in a motel room with cable (the weather was too dangerous to get back home.) This young man had one of those human sized dolls who he treated as his wife – his lover and partner. To us, she looked like an expensive blow-up doll, and it’s easy to write that guy off as crazy.
But when you think about thoughts being things, about how we create reality in our minds, and how spirits of all sorts can move into empty vessels and occupy them, it makes me wonder if there was more going on than a lonely guy with severe social anxiety.
I think that when we love something, like a stuffed animal, we create this potential for an actual consciousness to arise from, or maybe enter into that object. I think that the sort of consciousness that shows up in these objects depends upon the energy we put into it. Spirits, thought-forms, and different types of conscious entities can develop an attachment to a physical object. Ever felt the eyes of a poster or a painting follow you around the room? Ever felt like a porcelain doll was observing you? It’s the same feeling I get when a spirit is making itself known to me, trying to engage me in conversation.
So I wonder if some actual entity moved into this guy’s doll. At some point, maybe he was developing a bond with a consciousness he could actually interact with, who would respond to him, give him opinions and preferences.
My point is, you don’t want to develop a “strange addictions” level relationship with your spirit friends. I think that we, as incarnated humans, want to experience happiness and contentment. I believe that this state of happiness is closer when we lived balanced lives that have good physical health, a spiritual component, a positive / constructive outlook, fulfilling work and a balancing social component. We’re pack animals, us humans.
Anyway, it’s really up to you to decide what is fulfilling to you, where you are in your life. Just don’t deny yourself something in “real” life, don’t succumb to fear or past hurts by telling yourself you’re content with your invisible company, because you may be denying yourself an opportunity to heal, to learn, to expand – which I think is the whole point of being.