Interesting past life recall last night.
For the past couple of weeks, as I lay down to sleep, I’ve noticed George show up beside me to rub my feet. Weird eh? I figured it must have something to do with whatever we were doing after I went to sleep, or maybe it affected the quality of my sleep, or maybe it was balancing my energetic body somehow.
I never asked him why, because by the time I notice it the part of my brain that asks such questions is already asleep. It has just become this routine. Almost asleep and Oh yeah, there he is again.
It’s nice, and I’d never reject a foot rub.
Well last night, in addition to George, I had another spirit friend pop in, who shall at this time remain nameless because for some reason I’m struggling with coming “out” with this one. Want to test your own psychic skills and try to guess? I’ll give you a hint – it’s yet another male energy.
Last night New Friend shows up while George is handling my feet in this loving way, and I suddenly get this fear I used to get right before going into a past life recall. I just sat with the fear for a minute, New Friend offered his hand, there’s George sitting at my feet, and this memory just floated down to me.
It wasn’t anything like the past-life recalls I’ve experienced before, where I was virtually re-living parts of it. It was like this past life of mine was a blanket floating in the ether, and it gently descended onto my body and my mind, and in that moment I completely remembered what I needed to know from that life, just as though the memory was already there.
Oh. I said to myself.
In this past life, I recalled being a woman in China with bound feet. I understood this lifetime of restriction as a result of my feet, and I accepted it without protest or question. My feet caused me pain and illness, but these were not things to be avoided or denied in life, they were simply there, like breathing. There was no sense of *suffering* in this life, although there was fear and vulnerability of not being able to run when I felt like I needed to get away.
The thing about having bound feet that I loved, especially as an older woman, was the daily care and attention I received. My daughter / daughter-in-law (not sure which, but we loved each other) would bathe, doctor and dress my feet every evening. It was the only loving contact I ever received in my whole life. It was the only time I was ever touched with tenderness and caring. These feet which caused illness and imbalance were the only reason I felt love.
And so this is where my illness = love & care association began. This recalled memory was appropriate for me now at this time when I am reprogramming my body, my cellular and energetic structure, to be perfectly healthy and strong for the rest of my life. I needed to recall the origin of my desire for illness in order to release it.
Suddenly it explained a lot about my current physical body too, little quirks I’ve always had, like a tendency to stand or walk on the outside arches of my feet, knees locked. When I stand in this posture, my pelvis locks in the same restricted position, which is shadowed in the low-back tension I’ve had for almost two decades, (recently released through a month of gentle yoga postures.)
It explains the immediate familiarity when I first sat in the kneeling yoga posture. It lined up my spine perfectly, but my feet felt so huge! I thought they felt like giant flippers, and I could only sit in kneeling position for a few minutes at a time before the pain in my feet forced me to move.
It was funny too that I kept working at such an uncomfortable posture for me, only because I loved the way my back lined up. I literally said to myself, “The pain in my feet does not matter.”
It was after listening to one of Aleya Dao’s healing meditations while sitting in this kneeling posture and declaring I was ready to let go of fear, that I received the healing that released my low back. After I released the posture, I lay on my back, knees tucked up to my chin, and I rocked back and forth a bit – CLICK! My back was fixed.
Even as I type this I just noticed how again I am sitting with my legs crossed, and the foot that has contact with the floor is curled so that only the outside arch of my foot is making contact.
That life I spent with bound feet was a time of imbalance, literally and energetically. I could never become grounded once I could not walk barefoot on the ground. My feet barely touched the ground, and everything I experienced in that life, all the emotions and illness, was stored in my energetic body without a pathway of release.
I asked New Friend to stay with me all night, and he did, which I know because I woke up several times and he was there, reassuring me I was not alone. There’s something about past life recall that makes me feel very vulnerable and frightened for a time, and having a friend there to oversee and be a protector of sorts is incredibly reassuring.
When I moved through some brief “wake up” yoga stretches this morning, where I reconnect with my body and realize it has been completely healed & restored through the night, I felt a new wave of utter gratitude as I said my exercise mantra: Thank you for this body that is so healthy, well-balanced and strong.