My Wish

I’m changing my mind about not sharing my wish with you guys. Writer’s prerogative. Once I decided what I would wish for, I knew I would share it with you all:

I have asked for assistance attuning my “psychic ears”. Clairaudience, some people call it. It’s appropriate too, since last year on my birthday Kurt “fixed” something about my hearing so that I could actually listen to one of Nirvanna’s songs all the way through. Apparently I’d been experiencing some sort of psychic echo or feedback that made punk rock impossible for me to listen to – after Kurt fixed my hearing, I was able to listen to Nirvana and actually hear four separate instruments. I could hear the lyrics, and I listened to every damn Nirvana song he wrote. It was an awesome gift!

The reason I’ve asked for this is I’ve considered clairaudience to be a weak point in my practice. I get visuals very clearly, I get telepathic communication like lightening, but the trouble comes when I’m describing an unknown person who has appeared. Usually clients will offer one or two names, and the spirit will not or shake their head, offering charades-like clues.

Recently a client asked me, “Well, just ask them their name. What’s their name?”

Well, shit. If I haven’t heard the name before, it can’t be triggered for me via telepathic communication. As in the last CE entry, when Erik said “Ron Jeremy” I got “Gerry —-“

That’s how my brain translated the energy of his message.

I want to really, physically hear them talking to me. That is my official wish.

So last night, I could feel them at work, making subtle adjustments. I became aware of *why* I haven’t been able to hear them well: for the same reason they don’t move objects near me, they don’t make noises either. It used to frighten me, particularly when I was a kid.

I’ll tell you a story (I know some of you heard this before). When I was a kid, I was a pretty good talker, and I learned language very quickly. I used to talk to “myself” constantly, and I played by myself all the time. My mother said I was great at entertaining myself. She did have a wary eye open for me talking to spirits, as this does run in the family, but I wasn’t talking to spirits. I was talking to animals, and animal spirits. It’s funny how my mother made this assumption, as many people would, that if I’m talking to invisible people I could be talking to actual spirits. But if I’m talking to animals or invisible animal friends, I must have a very healthy imagination.

At some point in my childhood, spirits DID show up. By the time I recognized them for what they were, I was around 8 years old – old enough to have learned that “ghosts” are scary. Nothing they did around me was scary in and of itself, it’s just that I reacted in fear based on the culture I’d adsorbed.

You know that game, “Bloody Mary”? My friends used to play it at sleep-over parties. You’d say a chant, then go into the washroom, close the door, shut off the light and look in the mirror. Then you were supposed to scream because you’d see this image of Mary in the mirror.

Well I don’t know what the other girls saw, because even thought they would scream they were still having fun. I had the impression this was a game and we were just *pretending* to see Mary’s ghost in the mirror. Why on earth would mother Mary come to sleep over parties to frighten little girls?

When it was my turn, I said the chant, went into the washroom, closed the door, shut off the light and looked into the mirror. There, reflected in the mirror, was a woman standing behind me. It wasn’t Mary, I knew that, it was a woman with fair skin, freckles, long 60s style hair and a desperately sad expression. I locked eyes with her in the mirror and stopped breathing. We just looked at each other. Time stopped.

I got scared. I closed my eyes and whispered “go away, go away, go away!” until someone finally knocked at the door because I was taking too long.

I opened the door and the other girls were looking at me, all quiet and a little annoyed with me.

“You didn’t scream.”

“I didn’t see anything.”

Well, that kind of spoiled the game for everyone else.

I have never gone into a dark bathroom, since that day. Even when the power is out, I always take a candle. I realized yesterday that I’m still holding on to the fear of that day, even though I am a grown-up woman now, a self-trained psychic with mad skills, a toolbox full of protection skills and a S.W.A.T. team of angels willing to run interference if anyone bothers me. Looking back, this woman in the mirror didn’t do anything to scare me, except to show herself. I just didn’t know how to respond. Probably, she just needed help to get to heaven, to realize she was dead and therefore free. I sent an angel to that house today, to go collect this woman if she still needs help.

Another burden I carried forward since that day has been a fear of mirrors. This was reinforced with an incident in my childhood bedroom a year or so later.

I was sitting on my bed, reading or doing homework or something, when my attention was drawn to a round makeup mirror. I can’t remember exactly if the mirror was on my desk, dresser or bedside table, that detail is fuzzy. What I will never forget is what happened to that mirror as I watched it: it began to turn towards me. Slowly, so slowly I could hardly believe it was moving at all, it began to rotate so that the mirror, which was facing towards the window, would face me.

I knew, I *knew* that when the mirror was able to reflect my own face, that I would see another face behind me, just like the Bloody Mary game. I was completely paralyzed with fear and I couldn’t move.

But then suddenly something rushed up inside me, something that burst through the fear: anger.

SSSSTOP IT. STOP MOVING THAT RIGHT NOW. I was furious. As I write this, I am wondering about putting quotation marks around that statement – did I say those words out loud? I can’t remember.

The mirror stopped moving.

“Don’t. Ever. Do that. Again.”

That day I established my first psychic boundary: no one is allowed to move objects near me.

The memory of the Bloody Mary game and the moving mirror has travelled with me through the years, but yesterday something I’d entirely forgotten popped up from my memory bank.

I’d been frightened before by spirit whispers in my ears. Hearing an actual whisper, whipping around and no one is there. As my friends were attuning my “psychic hearing”, this memory popped up and I understood why I wasn’t hearing names or dates. I’d blocked it out a long time ago.

Last night, John and Kurt were having fun testing out my new hearing.

Testing, testing. 1. 2… They’re using a microphone. This is the tool I’ll call up to engage my “psychic hearing”.

Cock. Blow job.

C’mon you guys, I need to practice hearing names.

Nancy…

That was from John. I don’t know who Nancy is.

Julianne. Maria.

That was from Kurt. Well “Julia” is John’s mother’s name.

I haven’t gotten any really great confirmation yet that I’m actually “hearing” the correct names. I suspect it’s going to take practice to get the hang of the thing.

Which brings me to my reason for sharing with you guys: How would you folks like to help me attune my psychic hearing? I’m going to offer a limited number of quickie, discounted readings in the near future, specifically so I can work on this new technique. The readings will be up the usual standard – I just want to blast through a bunch of people very quickly, so I can get my new ears calibrated. Like everything else, practice makes perfect.

It’s one thing for me to practice with guys I’m really familiar with, it’s another thing for me to talk to your own relatives and loved ones on the other side, who may not be as skilled as John or Erik in making themselves understood.

Oh this reminds me of a lovely grandmother of a client last week: she said she’d been taking classes in heaven to learn how to flicker the lights in her grandkids house, so they’d know she was there! I thought that was awesome and hilarious, this idea of taking classes in this golden-age home setting so you can talk to your incarnated grandchildren, like learning to sew moccasins.

Stay tuned for the details of the “attuning Kate’s psychic ears” special!

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15 thoughts on “My Wish

  1. Yes. This is Awesome. I would love to be a part of it if possible. I’ll pay however much ( full price).

    Btw… I’m still stuck on the Erik and Ron Jeremy comment ( conversation you obviously had with Eric).. Hahahahha!!LOL!!!
    I can only imagine that one.

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  2. I am laughing because I want to say “be careful what you wish for.” 🙂 I asked the same thing last year I think and now I can’t get Erik to shut up. Ha ha. (I’m just teasing, I really quite like it). But when I asked for better clairaudience, my clairvoyance and claircognizance seemed to take a back seat. Did that happen for you, or did your other skills remain the same?

    Now I’m mostly audio-focused. I’d like to get the clairvoyance and claircognizance back so that they’re equally strong with the clairaudience. Actually hearing and seeing with my physical ears and eyes would be cool too (like Jamie does), but I’m also wondering if it could be “too much” if you get my drift.

    Names and songs are difficult. It’s interesting that you say you need to have the “memory” of a name before it can be received telepathically. That’s the same for me too.

    Oh what a wonderfully weird journey this is. 🙂

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    • with the “too much” thing: I have experienced a sort of “brain crash” on rare occasions which is kind of like an overload that results in a dropped call. My mind completely blanks out and I suddenly forget mid-sentance what we’re talking about, who we’re talking to and even who the client is!

      In that case, I take a moment to re-establish the connection. It’s not a big deal.

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  3. Good choice. I’ve been bugging for better clairaudience since this has started. I’ve been told I have to crawl before I walk though. Sigh. Patience…patience….

    Keep us posted! We’re all ears. Haha.

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  4. Sign me up, please. :0)

    That’s really cool of you to share your birthday wish and the stories behind it, and how you’ve recognized your past blockages and the reasons. Recognizing that, it seems you now know again that you can open that up skill / gift and experience it.

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  5. BTW – I think it’s funny you think of Nirvana as punk rock – you made me chuckle – the lyrics of “All Apologies” is hauntingly beautiful and quite prophetic – I’ll “gift” you some real punk for your iPhone – 😉

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    • I know, I’m adorably innocent when it comes to pop culture. Kurt did move me on to the Sex Pistols for a while there, and Sweetie is a huge fan of all sorts of loud, complex-sounding music. I can deal with the Pixies too, for a while.

      When it comes to music, think of me as a very old, conservative fuddy-duddy. I really dig classical, particularly anything with violin or piano.

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  6. I think your problems with clairaudience really isn’t a problem so much as a normal development process. Btw. Hiya. 🙂 In my personal studies and experience, when a sensitive has a full complement, or fairly complete skill set of the clairs, Clair audience usually is only triggered contextually by the mediums inner dictionary. The brain is just a giant bio-filter of data based on experience. It’s like a mushy translator. So if the data coming from Spirit can’t find a match in it’s data banks that energy will manifest as imagery. Then it becomes a gestalt, symbolic guessing game, where likes and akins of pictures stand for concepts. This merged with tactile sensations, feelings and “compressed downloads of knowing” form what others call psychic data. Really what’s going on is all quite normal. It’s two or more spirit energies using a human fleshy body computer to translate data. Over time-experience, this can get easier, but there is always that mix match comparison mentally that has to take place. It’s never really a consistent experience. In my experience the only time this eases, or gets easier is when we go deeper into a trance state or altered consciousness. That’s why physical mediums work so hard for independent direct voice manifestations or other 3d phenomena because it totally disconnects the mediums consciousness from the brain. so to speak. And that almost always takes multiple spirits or a lot of energy. So I wouldn’t get to discouraged at the pace of your development or the desire for more objective seeming audience. A tip to “hearing” objective voice is to use the same tips one uses for OBE’s. Wake yourself up in the middle of the night and then go back to sleep. Basically you want to interrupt your sleep enough that you alter your state of consciousness. Independent direct voice is done through spirit creating an energy voice box OR creating a vortex within your aura/ energy body and body, which is why it often sounds hollow or as if it’s coming through a tube like structure. And it’s actually rare for that type to contain more than 3 words or syllabils. The direct voice via energy box, takes a whole team of spirits and can take years to develop, depending on if they are using the mediums energy or environmental. So the mental communication is by far the easier. Although at times, a total pain trying to sort it all out. What makes it easier though is to just toss out all expectations and just go with the flow. Which is helpful as potty talk with the dead…wooooo.. ha ha.. Erik in the bathroom isn’t going to go away anytime soon, I am sure. bad joke. Sitters expectations are interesting too, cause they usually come with heaps of impatience. Better to have a small group and do the old school tradition of having a development circle, where you can play and experiment. Then everyone can be honest about their goals, and what they hope to get out of development. Persistence and patience, and taking the emotions out of it also helps. Kinda like dream journaling. Just record it all and what is, is, and what isn’t, is find enough to let go of for now. .. Anyway. I really enjoyed your blog and ce post. Especially your assended master cracks.. I had the same reaction. Almost to the point that I had to totally stop reading and shout at Erik… Assended master? WTF?!… gag me with a spoon…. such bull SH**. ‘Erik!–The only thing your a master of is foul smells and humor’… all kidding aside, though… I thought your follow up was totally brilliant. And your arguments about separation and it all being human terminology was so spot on. Anywhoo.. sorry for the novel.. just wanted to say thanks for putting yourself out there. Your bravery helps me too. thankx

    ps. Do you take paypal? or credit? or how? How do you feel about spiritual counseling sessions or email as opposed to a reading?

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    • Re: Clair audience usually is only triggered contextually by the mediums inner dictionary.

      Yes, this is how I’ve been experiencing it in general. Ron Jeremy became “Gerry” etc.

      Re: That’s why physical mediums work so hard for independent direct voice manifestations or other 3d phenomena because it totally disconnects the mediums consciousness from the brain.

      Sure! Whatever floats your boat, as I like to say. I heard an account of Jamie handing her body off to Erik’s use and it’s an amazing skill to have in your toolbelt, for sure. I’d love to get my butt to Atlanta to see her work. I’ve never seen a live trance channel at work. Right now, personally, this technique is not for me.

      I do *really* appreciate you taking the time to write all this out… but it’s the kind of thing I cannot filter through my intellectual brain, but rather I have to instantly understand intuitively, and I learn best by observing others or by simply “remembering” how to do it. This has always been how I’ve learned.

      Please do keep writing your tips because I’m sure it’s helpful for others reading too. J

      Re: What makes it easier though is to just toss out all expectations and just go with the flow

      I totally agree. Or as my cat would say, “Try less hard.”

      Re: Sitters expectations are interesting too, cause they usually come with heaps of impatience

      I think I have the best clients. They’re very kind, open, understanding and supportive J

      Re: Better to have a small group and do the old school tradition of having a development circle, where you can play and experiment.

      I have in the past year done this out of my house, and at the community hall. I have another idea that I think you’ll be very interested in! I just need to line a few things up before I announce it. Yes, my friend, I think we will do some amazing work together!

      Re: I really enjoyed your blog and ce post.

      Thank you! I appreciate that. I do aim to please!

      Re: Especially your assended master cracks.. I had the same reaction. Almost to the point that I had to totally stop reading and shout at Erik… Assended master? WTF?!…

      I KNOW! I was like, “Whaaat?? This shit again??? REALLY DUDE???” Pissed me right off, you know, zen spiritual seeker though I am. 😉

      Re: Anywhoo.. sorry for the novel.. just wanted to say thanks for putting yourself out there. Your bravery helps me too

      Novels are appreciated. They just take some more time for me to respond, so I’m not as quick on the draw. Thank you. Yes, I think it’s important for us to do what we can.

      Re: Do you take paypal? or credit? or how?

      Yes I use paypal, which facilitates payment with credit cards.

      Re: How do you feel about spiritual counseling sessions or email as opposed to a reading?

      LOL! I feel like every reading is also a spiritual counseling session! Why don’t you send me an email Jason and we’ll talk about what you have in mind. tofinopsychic@gmail.com

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