Hi folks – I reworked the first chapter with John. The idea here is create some understanding for John and his inner-conflict. We need to understand where John’s coming from so that the behaviour I have planned for him later on will make sense. This is laying the foundation for the reader to have some compassion for an earnest, fiercely talented kid with some serious anger issues.
Kate Sitka 
Nice job Kate! I found myself really engrossed in the character’s story. He has flaws (issues with anger, trust, and perhaps with authority figures), but he is likable because we understand why. The makings of a good, fully-fleshed and believable character. Looking forward to what comes next!
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