Faith has become such an important part of my practice this past year. I had a little crisis of faith a while back, and I really needed the support of an intelligent universe. I’d say I’ve received it in spades, although not in a way that I could hold up to others as evidence. You know how that goes.
Most recently, I’ve been contemplating taking a really big leap. I’m still standing on the edge, looking down, thinking about it. I have strongly mixed feelings about leaps of faith. True, every time I’ve taken a leap of faith I’ve ended up better off… but sometimes it feels like you’re smashing against every rock on
the way down.
I was emailing a friend about it, and she said “The Universe has got your back.”
My response? Effing prove it, universe.
That afternoon, I wrote a long letter to the universe, as I tend to do when I feel like the Universe and I need to take a meeting. I outline all my concerns, my goals, what I need, what would be most awesome.
Then I toss it into the court of the Universe. Your move.
I can’t even remember what the reply was – Sweetie, do you remember? All I know is when I got the response, I immediately *knew* it was confirmation. Yes, the Universe has my back. So when I’m ready, all I have to do is jump.
Your move, Kate, quoth the Universe.
Sometimes we need some freaking evidence to lift up our faith in… ourselves? Deity? Angels? Guides?
I’m curious, what have you guys experienced as evidence that supported your faith in the things unseen?
Kate Sitka 
Kate, well, there is John… need I say more ? ( He says)…. LOL.
I got hot by a car when I was six years old. I clearly remember flying through the air. My body hit the concrete, but I swear I felt a large, beautiful, male Guardian Angel catch my head so it wouldn’t hit the street like the rest of my body did. He was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. My Angel had long, wavy blond hair.
I still think of him all the time. ❤️
LikeLike
Awwww amazing!
LikeLike
Do I remember? …Yeah. There were a couple of things.
You asked me to pick up a lottery ticket, a particular kind from a particular gas station. It was the exact amount of money that you’d been asking for. We kept getting a string of free tickets — not really winning, but not losing either. We were just kind of holding ground on that.
Then we went out to dinner to do some business planning. I was eating pizza and writing notes and suddenly you went, “AAAAGH!!!!”. And I looked up, and you were like, “Someone just touched me”. I nod. “With an invisible hand!!!”.
So then you just laughed, like, “Oh, they’re letting me know they’ve got my back!” 🙂
Then later on, maybe the next day you said you’d got some clarity about the money thing and had some anger that you needed to let go of around a past business situation. Without getting into too much detail about that. But you said you needed to work though some judgment and anger around how some other people had built their businesses in order to be open to the injection of cash that would make you feel safe expanding your own business. Rather than feeling that every single dollar had to be hard-earned. So it put you in limbo because you were supported in expanding your income, you weren’t losing the lottery. But because you had reservations about expansion, you weren’t winning either. So you said you would keep playing and practice being expansive. I’m paraphrasing, but that was basically the gist.
LikeLike
Omg I can’t believe I forgot that!!! Yeah that was FREAKY AS HELL and I meant to blog about it!
I must’ve been in medium mode and forgotten all about it! *forehead smack*
LikeLike
Poor Noel, cars are after you in every incarnation! 😉 What’s interesting to me is that no matter how many times I experience firsthand confirmation of the “other side” (I’ll get into a couple of those in a minute), I still go through repeated crises of faith. I think it has more to do with self-doubt than anything else, though — not trusting my intuition. Anyway, one really intense day I can remember was my dad’s birthday a few years back, the first one after he died. I woke up in tears and was bracing myself for a really heavy day…the first thing that happened was I went to get coffee and as I parked my car, a truck pulled into the spot next to mine with his name on the side: “Gilbert.” Then I got home and on my kitchen windowsill, in a spot that was bare when I left the house, was one of those sobriety tokens they give people at AA meetings. I immediately knew it was his, but I have no idea where it came from or how it got there (there was no one else in the apartment, my kids were at school). A few months after that, I found a picture of him while I was going through his things. It had a little tear in the corner and had been taped back together. Shortly after that I got a Facebook notification, one of those “people you may know” — it was my dead father, and the profile pic was that same photo with the tear. When I went to look for the profile, there wasn’t one. (Cue spooky music.)
LikeLike
“No matter how many times, still get the crisis of faith”
I am SO with you there. And yeah – you, Noel Kurt and John – so much confirmation there that makes little sense to other people.
Maybe that’s part of it – that we look for validation outside our own experience when we have a faith freakout
LikeLike
Ha! The lottery ticket idea sounds good to me. I just might give it a shot! Especially since my husband recently got laid off (REALLY, UNIVERSE?! With a new baby coming in a few months??). Which leads me to my next point — I would absolutely love to take the class but we’re in total budget freakout mode right now…if that changes — I mean, WHEN it changes, since I’m gonna hit the lotto soon — I will happily sign up! It’s true what you say, so much of this stuff makes so little sense to other people…the shared experiences and conversations with you and Noel have really been sanity-savers for me.
LikeLike
Oh jeeze. Sorry to hear that J. Budget freak out mode sucks.
LikeLike
Wow. Your dad is really amazing. I wonder if be had help with that?
LikeLike
Oh, and nearly all of my faith blocks have to do with money too!!! I have major distrust in the universe regarding financial support, and I know that’s why I have money issues in the first place. I just don’t know how to fix it!
LikeLike
Jacqueline, WOW! Those incidents regarding your Father are amazing!!!!
LikeLike
He was a really strong personality in life, so I guess it makes sense that he would be in death, too! I love your story…incredible! And I love that you’re still comnected. I don’t feel like I’ve ever really identified with any angels/guides who weren’t people at some point, but I would like to work on that…
LikeLike
Jacqueline, Noel, are you guys interested in taking the intuitive development class? Email me if you are 🙂
LikeLike
Well if you were me you’d get really mad, demand the universe show itself and start buying lottery tickets.
Then get ironic perpetual “free ticket” streak.
LikeLike
Hmm, I wrote a really long response here and it never showed up…mercury isn’t still in retrograde, is it?! Anyway, I think what I said was basically something about how the lottery ticket idea sounds good to me! Maybe it’s good to get really mad at the universe from time to time. Since my husband got laid off recently and we’re in total budget freakout mode, it’s as good a time as any! I would LOVE to sign up for the class, by the way, though because of the aforementioned budget freakout, I may have to wait until I actually hit the lotto before I can do it 😉 And I wouldn’t be surprised if my dad had help…I also wouldn’t be surprised if that help came from John! One of the first things I found in my dad’s bedroom, just hours after his death, was a t-shirt with John’s picture on it. I got in my car to leave and the first song that came on was “Instant Karma.” I felt, in that moment, like my dad was in good hands…
Anyway, I really like your approach to having a sort of “spirited” dialogue with the universe about this type of thing, because the usual “visualize abundance” advice is really tough for me to follow. I’ve never really experienced the kind of abundance I want in this life, so it’s hard to picture, you know?
LikeLike
Well, the “spirited” approach at least gives me a chance to vent my fears and frustrations. I’ve found it does help me get through hard times.
Sometimes getting frustrated / pissed is what I need to get to the next level of action – if I’m in zen acceptance mode, it’s easy to change nothing.
LikeLike
Yes! This is my main spiritual struggle right now, actually — trying to figure out how to incorporate the good parts of zen acceptance mode without becoming too passive.
LikeLike
I think Buddhists work on this balance their whole lives. Just don’t set yourself on fire 😉
LikeLike
My biggest struggle is often having faith in *myself* — I tend to be self-critical, and sometimes lack confidence in my abilities. Which is silly, because I’m actually a reasonably accomplished person. But, when it comes to new areas of exploration, I can really psych myself out. So I have to start with baby steps and a plan ….
When I was growing up in a conservative Christian household, the idea of talking to psychics and communicating with the dead was just unheard of. The whole idea that the soul is eternal and our loved ones can still be with us — I had to take that on faith. Then, after my son died, I found that we can truly stay in contact after our loved ones leave this physical world. Kate, you’ve helped to provide confirmation for me of something that earlier I just had to “believe”.
And now, I get pranked by my spirit friends! Erik made a flyby at our house last night when he briefly set off one of our smoke alarms at 2 am – twice, just so we knew the first time wasn’t a fluke! It was mostly funny, and only mildly annoying. I’m feelin’ the love. 🙂
Mary Beth
LikeLike
Omg, that Erik is such a prankster sometimes.
It’s so interesting how faith plays such a mind-bending role in our lives: sometimes we get messages from our… Oh darn I gotta come back to this!
LikeLike
Hi MB 🙂
Sorry it took me so long to reply.
You know, I think we all struggle with faith in ourselves. If we stay completely in our comfort zone, sometimes our happiness can suffer.
For me, it’s so much a balance of pushing myself out of my comfort zone without going so far I fall off the cliff.
Baby steps indeed. After a few years, you look back and are amazed at the distance you’ve travelled with baby steps.
LikeLike