As discussed in the Robin Williams thing, we prefer to wait a decent period of time before posting conversations with famous dead people. It’s been over a year now since Cory Monteith passed, and Sweetie feels comfortable enough now to contribute this conversation we had in the days following Cory’s death:
I was looking for your new entry this morning but I couldn’t find it. But when you mentioned it this morning — Psychic Like Crazy — I thought, “Yeah. That’s good timing”. I drafted like… I think probably the craziest entry I have in a while about something that happened yesterday — I was going to talk to you about it but I figured you were too tired. Anyway, I think Corey Monteith has been talking to me. Even after everything, I’m still like… “No. This cannot possibly be happening, that makes no sense”.
Besides that, I was like, “I can’t possibly blog about this, he hasn’t even been dead for a week. It is way too soon. It would not be well received, at all”.
So, here’s what I wrote about that:
Corey Monteith has been talking to me.
I wasn’t sure at first, I thought, “No, surely he must be off healing somewhere, not talking to people yet”. He just shrugged. He’s ok; he wasn’t that attached to that identity and anyway, everyone else is sad about him dying, or is judging him about the way he died, or both. I don’t. I care, but I’m not sad. And I can hear him.
I thought he was Kurt Cobain at first. They’re similar somehow but their energy is different. I read the news shortly after it was released, a day or a day and a half after he died and I started thinking about success. I heard, “That’s why you have to get clear on what success is before you start pursuing it”. At that point I thought he was Kurt because as I read the article I realized that they had all these things in common — they were both drummers, their parents were divorced when they were about the same age, they used the same phrase to describe their drug use — “anything and everything” — both committed suicide.
There’s no proof of that. But even before the toxicology report was published I thought, “Rohypnol. He came home to die”. Rohypnol is an opiate, something they give people to get them off of methadone. Kurt mixed a bunch of them with champagne during one of his suicide attempts. Corey’s toxicology report came back — “heroin and alcohol”. It’s reportedly accidental, although the dangers of mixing alcohol and opiates are widely known.
Anyway he commented on how I was surprised that he had died — that he was surprised that I was surprised. He reminded me that a few years ago when I had pulled up my memories of having predicted some deaths around me, that I began to test out that skill in a way that felt safe. I was watching Glee and I kind of felt around. “Is one of these kids going to die? …Yes. Him. …Really?? Him??”. Yes.
That felt certain, for a moment. But weird. Weirdly certain. Then I forgot all about it until a day or so ago. Until he reminded me. I forgot about it because I hadn’t seen death on him after that. I do tend to forget those things. So, reminding me of things that I’ve forgotten is a pretty good way of convincing me that these things aren’t coming from me, but I was still like, “Ehh, I don’t know. I’m still not sure I’m not imagining this”.
So yesterday I was listening to this old Fleetwood Mac album on my iPod. And he pops in. “Oh hey! We did that on the show”. I’d actually totally forgotten that. I guess they did remind me that Fleetwood Mac are good. Or made me realize it.
And then Kurt pops in. “Courtney covered them first (referring to Gold Dust Woman). She deserves credit for making them cool”.
Corey’s like, “She covered them in the 90s… and they remained uncool”.
(pause) “I can’t believe I’m mouthing off to Kurt Cobain”.
(pause) “…about music”.
Kurt is projecting the energetic equivalent of a smirk or an eye roll. “Yeah. Well, I don’t see her (meaning me) bragging to her friends about watching your show”.
So I’m listening to this argument about who is responsible for re-popularizing this band. Who gets credit for that cultural contribution. I’m kind of surprised that Kurt wouldn’t just give him that one, honestly.
I was definitely more convinced after witnessing that though and after being reminded of yet another thing at random that I’d forgotten. I’m not sure why he’s hanging out, besides the fact that I’m a lost boy magnet. Maybe Kurt is mentoring him on how to be dead and famous, and talk to incarnated humans without freaking them out too much.
Kate: This is amazing sweetheart, and hilarious.
Yeah, I don’t think it would be well received either, at the moment. Better to let the dust on the teenagers’ Ouija boards settle. Does Corey care whether it’s shared or not?
It’s really funny.
I don’t get the impression he really cares, honestly… I’m not getting a strong yes or no. The other day I was like, “Isn’t your autopsy today? What are you doing here?” He was just like, “Why would I want to go to that?”. He doesn’t seem that attached to any of it. But I wouldn’t want you fielding a bunch of angry comments by people feeling its insensitive or exploitive.
Yeah, that’s the only thing… From the outside looking in, it would be tacky. I think a LOT of people were talking to Michael Jackson right after he died, and I’m sure he was talking to them – but just the timing of it makes you question their motivation.
There’s no reason to hurry it, especially since Cory doesn’t seem to care either way. Maybe hang on to this, and post it in a year, depending on what happens?
And yeah, why WOULD you go to your own autopsy??? YIIIIICCCCKKKK!!!
I think I’ve found what it is, why he didn’t really need to recover in spite of the apparent trauma and why he knows all of these “spirity tricks” already — i think he’s just old. He’s probably been human a lot. I read on wiki that he was reading at a 4th grade level when he was 5. It’s like, “learning to read, again?, oh ok can we just fast track this?” I don’t think it’s his first suicide either. Maybe I saw him and went, “oh hey, I know you! …Yeah, you’re not sticking around, I’ll see you later”.
Kate: Yeah, that’s probably the most politically incorrect thing you could say!
So you see why we choose to hold back on the Celebrity stuff. What Sweetie & I actually tend to get could really be mis-interpreted, but I feel like it’s the most interesting part about talking to dead people – the quips, the shit they give each other, the jokes, the glib comments, the frank honesty.
So folks, I promise you I’ll give you the best we can do, and we’ll do it in the most respectful way we can.
Oh and in case you’re wondering why Cory showed up for Sweetie, without her prompting, within days of his passing, here’s what he said about it:
“I’ve always liked it here.”
Sweetie: You’ve been to Tofino?
And he rolled his eyes and said, “I’m from Victoria! Of course I’ve been to Tofino.”
4 thoughts on “Cory Monteith <3’s you”
This entry is just a prime example of why I love this blog! Jane
Jane, you’re so sweet!
Do you still talk to Cory? Can you pass a message onto him for me please? I’d like to thank him. I lost my died over 2 years ago and I’ve been struggling to grieve. Over the last few weeks my husband has made me watch all of Glee again, kind of. Anyway, going over Cory’s death and everyone’s reactions, including Lea’s way of coping has helped me grieve for my dad. The show has always played an important part of my life. Thanks. And I’m loving reading your blog.
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Hello :). I’m sorry it took me so long to find your comment. WordPress only showed it to me just now to authorize.
I am grateful this post helped you. Who did you lose? That part was cut out of the comment.