“The boys” have been very active. Ridiculously so. The whole town has decided to play Beatles songs, particularly my favourite Lennon-written songs, just as I enter public spaces like the grocery store or the coffee shop.

I wonder sometimes, why is it “the boys” and only the music boys? Only John, George, Kurt and Bob Marley that seem to continuously pop up? Maybe because it’s easier for them to say hello. It’s kind of impossible to ignore repeatedly “random” songs in public spaces, and how they inexplicably keep coming up in the most random places – in podcasts I listen to, in books I read about topics that have nothing to do with music, in conversations with friends.

I haven’t been writing about this much because there’s not a lot to say other than, they’re saying “hello”. They’re still around. They tend to pop up with a kind word of encouragement when I need it, like a phone message from a friend who’s just checking in.

Working as a medium is like working in miracles. There is *nothing* I can do to make a miracle happen. I just know how to create the space for magic, but I don’t / can’t will it into existence. It has to happen on its own, I just get out of the way.

Because it has this miraculous process, it reaffirms my faith in the intangible. It often does this for clients, too.

But rarely, someone who really, really needs a miracle doesn’t get one. Or maybe they don’t recognize the message. It’s not up to me to interpret the message, and too much interpretation can warp the message or push the spirit away. I just say what I get, that’s it.

I make the connection to the spirits around a person *through* that person, and I can feel their crushing disappointment, the unspoken question of “Why?” I want to say, “Just be patient. Just take care of yourself. Just focus on healing, and one day, maybe when you’d don’t need it so badly, then you’ll get your proof moment.”

It’s such a classic question, one that atheists like to hold up as proof that there is no universal love, or that some subset of pagans may hold as evidence that the energy of the universe is neural, not loving at all, but benign.

Yet we know that hundreds of thousands of people have experienced their “god moment” – they’ve found that universal love either in meditation, in a moment of clarity in nature, at their dying loved one’s bedside, during a session, or through art.

The funny thing is the certainty, that unshakable knowing of truth, it’s different for everyone. The earth shattering moment, when told as an anecdote, is often easily dismissed by others. That moment is just for that one person, it isn’t meant to rock anyone’s world but yours.

And if you haven’t had that proof yet, it doesn’t mean that it’s nonexistent. It might mean the timing isn’t right, for a million little reasons. Maybe you’ll get that proof years from now, and in retrospect, it’ll make sense why you didn’t get it back when you first asked.

Maybe you’ll get it later in life, or maybe it’ll happen in your moment of death.

So what if you spend a lifetime searching for proof and you never get your God Moment?

Well, I believe that everyone gets their God Moment, at least once in their life. I don’t know why it happens often for some and not at all for others.

Well, George has some suggestions:

Hello George, it’s been a while!

Hello, love. In my humble perspective, I would like to draw your attention to what happens to a person when they experience a lack of connection with God. Do you see what they do?

(Shows me a person driven to travel the world in search of it, shows me another person who is aware of this space their whole life, and this feeling motivates them to find meaning in other, mortal things.)

The lack of connection with the divine in life is evidence of its existence. If we didn’t need it, we wouldn’t be driven so fiercely to find it. Even an orphaned child knows it has a mother. We’re all like little children, looking for Mum.

It does always seem to come back to what drives a person’s life, doesn’t it?

(George rolls backwards on to a pile of colourful pillows behind him, relaxing into a recline.) In my humble perspective, that’s the secret of life, yeah? Every person, every human being has a connection with the infinite whether they can feel it or not. However that connection may be calibrated, it motivates them through life.

When we’re in life it’s easy to think about life plans as books we write for ourselves, or contracts with God. Of course, there’s no paper here. Everything gets boiled down to pure energy.

(George shows me a beam of light from the center of creation connecting to an incarnated form on a planet. This beam has qualities, blips, blinks, music, flickering colours. Everyone’s beam / connection is programmed differently, and there are infinite permutations and possibilities.)

See your light goes: blinky-doo. My light goes: blinky-dee-dee-dee! My light is a little crazier than yours, a little sillier, right? In life, I needed to calm it down to feel my connection with God. I NEEDED to find God for myself, I was very uncomfortable with the chaos in my life and my mind. I needed to find quiet to find God. Not everyone feels this way.

Those people who have stopped reading? They don’t need to read this. It’s boring. They either have their connection with God, or they don’t feel the absence in a painful way. (Indicates this is not a criticism or a lack in either the people reading or those who have stopped reading. It’s another way of saying something “resonates” with the reader because of how they’re calibrated, what they need.)

So if someone feels like you did, feels that absence and really needs proof, why does that desperation seem to block their ability to experience it? I see this pattern in other ways too: if someone is desperate for a pet to reincarnate, or they are in dire financial straits and are desperate for a turnaround. I’ve recognized this in myself, when I get angry or frustrated. Giving God ultimatums doesn’t work, because the only person you hurt by shutting off that connection (or making it conditional on some proof) is yourself.

And I also know that scam religions use this phenomenon to control people, they say “God tests your faith” which I don’t really believe either. In some religions, demanding proof is like admitting you don’t have the faith, therefore you’re a bad (insert name of faith here.)

Have you finished? (teasing) George places his palm over his heart, breaths in and smiles while he gives me this idea:

The mourning of a loss is proof of the love’s existence in your life. When someone has gone from your life, someone you loved, the pain of loss is proof the love exists. EXISTS, not existed.

Physical incarnation is one layer, it’s the jam in the sandwich. Below and above, layers. Your loved one is still there, the pain is part of your connection to them.

Grief can and does transform back into painless, joyful love. For those whose grief blocks their God experience, they feel the grief as a connection to their loved one. It is frightening to let go of the pain, experiencing grief is a demonstration of your love for the one who died. (Shows me various cultures where a public display of grief is culturally mandated: women in black dresses, cutting hair, living in isolation for prescribed periods of time, spending additional time in church, shifting societal roles completely – becoming a nun, moving in with children etc. He also then shows me people who have joyfully rejected mourning tradition.)

The correct path of grief is the one each person takes.

Why is the God Moment so elusive when people are asking for it and actively seeking it?

(chuckles) God has a sense of humour. Not cruel, the irony is: divinity is always in front of you. All around you and in the mirror. What you think and feel in response is *your* interpretation of divinity. If a person has already decided that God is cruel, who is God to convince them otherwise?

In every cult, each member experiences the divine within the structure of that cult – the fear, what keeps them tied to a destructive religious organization – is that they might lose that connection with the divine that they found through this system of faith.

Ultimately faith and proof of God is a reflection on your own faith in yourself.

If I may go on a tangent, this is why bringing faith into addiction recovery is so powerful – it allows people permission to see the God within themselves, and forgive themselves their addiction and the terrible actions they took while motivated by cravings for a substance. (Reminds me he was in recovery and this kick-started a God Moment or two for him.)

That’s enough for today, love!

Thank you for popping in, George, I really appreciate it.