What would you tell your 16 year old self?

Kate 1996

This is me in 1996.  I was in high school, with a lot of stuff behind me, but some of the toughest stuff still ahead.

Look at this kid.  I can’t believe this was me.  If I could sit her down and just give her the cheat codes for her teen years, I’d say:

  1.  Take horseback riding lessons.  You can afford it, it’s the best thing for you right now, and it’ll be harder to do later.
  2. Keep working at the vet’s, but you won’t want to be a vet in three years.  You’ll see what I mean.  When that happens, DON’T PANIC.  Just keep calm and get your own place as soon as possible.
  3. You’re strong enough to do things your way, on your own.  You don’t really need to wait for other people to be ready.
  4. It’s okay to inconvenience others.
  5. It’s okay to get angry and make demands.  You should.  And then go and actually do the things you want to do.  See point #3 and #4.
  6. Visit Vancouver.  You can afford it.  Just go to the west coast so that you’ll *know* how amazing it is, and know that it’s waiting for you.
  7. Nursing isn’t going to work out either, but it’ll be a great education.  Move to Toronto, but don’t worry, you won’t stay there.
  8. Take night school.  A lot of night school.  Night school is the coolest. You will MUCH PREFER night school to full-time college, they get right to the point.
  9. YOU’RE GAY.  Yes you are.  Yes you are.  No, you really are.  You’ll see.  And it’ll be fine.  See point #3 and #4.
  10. In two years, it’ll get hard.  But then it gets better.  So much better.

What would you tell your 16 year old self???

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12 thoughts on “What would you tell your 16 year old self?

  1. Hah! I’d be saying some of those same things but I’d also say to her:
    1. the drugs you are taking to numb that pain are also showing you things that you will remember at an age when you can really do something with that knowledge to change how you see life
    2. you will heal, and with the most remarkable support, and more importantly, they’ll help you to learn how to forgive
    Life is grand.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. hmmmm, good one! in addition to your #s 3, 4 & 5:
    – study abroad for at least one semester in college.
    – don’t give up on therapy and don’t stop journaling!
    – have fun with the ppl you date; don’t take those relationships too seriously. when you meet your partner, there’ll be no doubts.
    – be careful with alcohol; you’ll get through the hard times with or without it, but with more grace without the booze.
    – life will get easier, i promise.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great idea! I would tell my 16 self the following:
    1. You look f’ing amazing! Your ass is never going to look as good as it does now. Hmmm, I may not say that actually.
    2. All the deep questions (like what is the meaning of life, why am I here, is there life after death) that you keep asking your young mind (that made you a bit weird in high school) will all be answered when you reach your late 40’s because your spirit guide is going to show up and scare the shit out of you! You’ll end up speaking with your spirit guide on a daily basis thereafter. So, don’t waste that energy and go out and learn how to smoke, be promiscuous and stop studying so god damned much! You’re boring the shit out of me!
    3. Ya, those “cool kids” turn out exactly as you thought. It’s sort of pathetic.
    4. It’s totally okay to be as weird as you are, have the weird interests that you do and to have a freak flag! Fly it, bitch! Fly it! Those people who just let it fly? Ya, those are the cool kids now. So, raise your freak flag and let it sore now!
    5. Law of attraction is actually a real thing! You will learn as you get older the true meaning of the law of attraction as you will accomplish everything that you set out to accomplish, you lucky asshole! So, be brave and do things that you know you could fail at and dream big, really big. Set your intentions early and know that it is your truth. By the way, you never stop learning. It’s a good and bad thing. Sigh!
    Now, go get me a beer because I’ve gotta find a way to put some fat on my bony ass!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 1) your legs aren’t too skinny! you don’t need a different hair color, you don’t have to change anything, you look amazing.
    2) don’t get in any relationship with any boys longer than a few months until you’re at least 25!
    3) The pills you take to take away the pain of losing your mother are going to control your life, please stop now.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dont drop out of school and be afraid of being unloved! Your true love will find you and you need an education! I dropped out of school, well was forced out due to a teen pregnancy and I felt so unloved. It took me 16 years to get my GED and I have struggled as a parent. I did it way to early, my head was not mature enough. I think I would more hug my 16 year old self than say anything, I was in a bad place at that age.

    Liked by 1 person

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