Spring Special SOLD OUT in 24hrs!

Thank you to everyone who booked!

WOW that sold out faster than any promotion I have ever done previously! Thank you so much everyone.

I have a feeling that there are more than a few who missed out, because this special went so fast. I’m going to come up with something for you all to bring forward… stay tuned.

Yahoo! ~$50 off~ Spring Sessions!

James & Katie

Happy Spring my Friends!

Well, it may not feel like Spring to many of us across the world, especially if you have SNOW and COLD!  Here in Tofino, it snowed last night for the first time in *three years*!  *It covered the daffodils!  SOB!*

So I’m going to make it feel like Spring today, by launching this special discount full of flowers and warmth and welcome to you!  Woo hoo!

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That’s $133 for a ONE-HOUR session!  I’m only offering this on sessions scheduled *before June* though, so book yours quickly and by the time we talk, it will REALLY be Spring!

If you’re one of the wonderful new folks here, I just want to gently point out this is the first time I’ve offered a discount on regular sessions in *years*.  I usually will do a pet session discount, or my annual New Year Report card special, but I have *never offered a $50 discount* before – ever!

I just felt like I wanted to this time.  I do a little exercise when I’m working with the “energy” of my offerings.  I sit with it for some time and see how it feels, and my $20 discount which I have offered here and there in the past just didn’t feel *exciting enough* for this BLEARY ol’ February!  So I upped the ante until I came to $50 off!

I have already sent this promo out to my email list, and as I’m writing this blog post, I have already TWO bookings!  (Thanks CH and MP!)  I think this special might just book up faster than any one I’ve done before!  (That’s probably why it feels exciting to me!)

*** UPDATE *** OMG – people!  There are only 4 spots left!

So join me this Spring for this special session just for you!

You can book your session here!

Talk to you soon!

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Celebrity Friday: Freddie Mercury!

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Freddie Mercury is extremely easy to talk to.  Like, John Lennon levels of easy.  You mention him, he’s practically there!  A few nights ago I was watching a youtube video that mentioned Freddie and Princess Diana’s friendship, how he and his cronies dressed her up in a “dominatrix” cap (Freddie’s description) with aviator sunglasses and took her out for a night on the town!  Everyone was so focused on Freddie Mercury no one noticed Princess Di in her disguise!

Freddie knew fame, and he really knew boundaries too.  He knew how to reach his fans with love and glory, and he knew (and did his best) to protect his loved ones.  And he adored Diana.  That was the first thing to come through.  I’ll ask Freddie to come in and help me recall that conversation in a moment, but first I’d like to acknowledge that whenever I’m writing about talking to well-known people in the afterlife, I’m not trying to prove anything here.  The confirmations I get are likely easily discoverable through google, and as with my previous conversations, I do my best to keep this respectful and mindful.

K: Hello, Freddie!

F: (Freddie appears in elaborate royal dress, similar to the above photo, but he says:) Tell them it’s with more fur and glitter!  (Lots of fur piles across his shoulders in white and black, full length red robe with gold, and an impossibly high spiked crown.)

 K: Your clothing reminds me of Lady Gaga –

F: AH Yes!  I adore (says her given name Stephani).  She has the heart of an angel and the voice of a Siren!  We met.

K:  You met?  But you died in 1991.

F:  We met!  She and Brian and (shows me two other people) had a séance with a trusted medium and we spoke,  she felt me!  It’s not something she would speak on publically of course.  We made the connection, Bry felt it as well.  Was a blast!  One of the things I always wanted to do after I died, appear in a séance.  I didn’t / couldn’t knock over the table or anything like that, this medium was not dramatic and added no embelishments.  They did sit on the floor, done up with piles of rugs and pillows, but they were all standing, dancing by the end!  It was a special evening.  I’ve spoken / visited Mary (Austin) often too.  Of course I do, I would never leave them alone. 

 K:  What about the fellow you were living with, Jim Hutton? 

F:  I do, he was angry with me for a period and told me to “Just fuck off, Freddie,”  so I did.  He had good reason to be angry with me. 

K:  Did you have a falling out or…?

F:  No, no nothing like that.  We had a non-monogamous relationship, where I would sleep with someone else, and he would either sleep with someone else as well or not, and then he’d forgive me.  After a while the drama drained out of it, and I would behave badly – like a rock star, you know – and I thought he’d gotten used to it, because we didn’t fight about it anymore.  After I died – no, that’s not true.  Before I died, while I was sick and he was taking care of me, he was so fucking loyal, just such a good man, and I said I was sorry I had treated him as I had.  He was too angry with me to feel it until after I died, and he had to process everything that had happened.  There was always the suspicion too, that I had been the one to give him HIV.  There was no way to know, of course, because back then many believed it happened to you *because* you slept with men.  So many of us didn’t believe in god, but got the virus and thought, well, this is god punishing me for being a fag. 

 K:  You just internalized it.  Did you do that, with the disease?

 F:  No, I didn’t, but towards the end I thought that maybe I had ruined Jim’s life.  I didn’t feel like that all the time, just when I felt really ill and depressed.  Jim never let me push him away though. 

 I was always honest with Jim.  He knew I was holding myself back from him, and he was right.  Mary was the only person in my life that I was completely open with, and she accepted me completely.  She knew me.  We had unfailing loyalty to each other.  I talked with Jim early on in our relationship about how special and irreplaceable Mary was in my life.  He understood at the time, he said I could love him my way, and he would love me his way.  That we would figure it out together, and he was not asking me for something I could not give to him. 

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After I died, I think Jim allowed himself to see he had accepted the short end of the stick.  I had wondered if I should have kicked him out – but where would he go?  I didn’t want to reject him, I loved him, dearly.  I was always honest with him. 

K:  Did he ever ask you to promise him to be monogamous?  I can delete this, you don’t need to answer.

F:  Alright, yes, he did ask me to stop messing with other men, on several occasions.  In the moment, I could not bring myself to tell him, “No, I can’t do that.”  I just said, “Alright.”  Those were the most painful conversations.  He had every right to feel angry with me, afterwards.  The anger only lasted a short time.  We lived together, we travelled together, because the good times far outweighed the bad. 

K: I saw in a youtube video that stated you were bisexual, but only romantically interested in women, and only sexually interested in men, which I know is a thing, but it didn’t seem to ring true to me about you.  What do you think?

F:  Of course, the audience wants to believe they know what goes on behind the curtain.  No, I am not simply interested in men for one thing and women for another.  I had wonderful, pleasing, gratifying sex with men and women, and I love and loved both men and women.  I treated my relationships with them differently, and I was more leaning towards men than women, really.  I only needed to journey into my adulthood to discover that.

 My love for Mary and my love for Jim was quite different.  My loyalty to them was complete.  I felt like I owed so much of myself to Mary, there were moments in my young adult life where Mary picked me up off of the floor.  She loved me unconditionally, she simply accepted me.  Mary came first.  I was honest with Jim about that too, Mary would come first. 

 Jim, to his credit, did not resent Mary one bit.  He respected her, respected our relationship. 

 Jim was with me through my whole illness.  It must have been terrifying for him at the time, knowing he had the same thing, and it was just ticking like a tomb bomb inside of him, waiting to do the same, or similar, or possibly worse things to him.  My foot was gangrenous.  It just never healed.  It started with an infected toenail, and the tissue just started to die, and then more around it would die, and it all just went bad.  They wanted to amputate my foot, but I just knew if I went into the hospital I would never get out.  “Let it rot off,” I said, “I’m dying anyway.”  Then we had a show that week.  That was the first time I thought “This show might be my last,” so I poured every ounce of energy into every show from that point on.  It felt different, pushing to get the show out, giving it every last ounce of life inside of me.

 I thought, if I died of a heart attack during a performance, that would be art.  It had never been done before!  Or if I died of a heart attack shortly after a show, that would be alright too.  I wasn’t afraid of pushing my body too far and causing a rupture or a stroke or any of the other things they said might happen if I continued to perform. 

 What was I here for, if not to sing?  Every show became the opportunity to give *the best performance of my life*.  I am proud of Queen, I am so very, deeply proud of our final performances together.  We all knew each one might be my last.

 K:  I understand you were recording a song just a few weeks before you died?

F:  Yes, and I fucked that one up.  They had to finish it without me, but they did a great job.  The pain in my foot was terrible at the time, I was sick from the infections.  (he corrects me as I went to write “fever” but says it wasn’t a fever because his immune system wasn’t working well, and he gives me dizziness, nausea, weakness, and incredible fatigue.)  All in all, I am very happy with my legacy.  Let’s talk about the cats.

 K:  Oh yes!  The other night you mentioned that you had a cat just like Rupert, and then we found a photo!

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He looks just like my cat Rupert in this photo!  Rupert makes that face whenever he is having an opinion about something.

F: Yes, he was a self-possessed pussy.  We had others, too. 

K:  Yes, I found this photo, and the two of them together look like Mikey and Rupert!

F:  Oh, but this orange tabby could be such an asshole.  He would piss on things if he didn’t like his dinner.  He could be a bully with the other cats as well, so we had to manage him.  I think he was one of Jim’s favourites.

 K:  With so many cats in your house, I’m sure there were a few cat pee wars.

F:  Yes (the female) would get upset and pee on the furniture.  I just loved her too much to take it personally.  I just wish she didn’t pick the antiques. 

 K:  I saw mention of you petting Delilah as one of the last things you did in your life.

F:  Yes, that’s from Jim’s book – you should read it, it’s very good.

 (Here it is, called “Mercury and Me”)

 K:  I will, I love a good autobiography.

F:  You will love his.  He doesn’t get into much detail about his own life before we met, because he believed that people weren’t interested in him, they were only interested in the story of our love life.  In truth, Jim rarely allowed anyone to get the full measure of him.  He underplayed his intelligence despite being extremely well-read.  He loved art, music of course, and he was humble, he never attempted to aggrandize himself through his associations.  (Freddie gives love and admiration for Jim.)  He is a jewel of a man.  I did not give him full credit either, I thought he would surely leave me after my HIV diagnosis.  We didn’t know he was positive as well.  I expected him to get off the ride, but he didn’t, and I was so very lucky to have him with me when I died.  He loved me right to the very end.  And he made sure I didn’t die in hospital. 

 K:  Oh right – Michael Jackson!  Sweetie told me something about you pissing off Michael for “doing too much cocaine”?  What happened there?

F:  Oh Michael.  I reached out to him, I loved his music, and we were planning on collaborating.  I did quite a pile of cocaine off of his fancy coffee table in view of (shows me children’s playground equipment through the window. He clarifies it was before Michael build the Neverland ranch, but it was Michael’s home and he had children’s play equipment nearby.)  Michael was an innocent.  He cultivated his child-like view of the world.  It was more than a faux paux to use cocaine in his house, right in the open.  I don’t supposed it would have been different if I had gone to the washroom and done is discreetly, but why would I?  We were both rock stars, he knew who he was inviting to his home! 

 K:  When I first heard that, I thought Michael was upset that you did too much of *his* cocaine?  (I was joking.)

F:  No, Michael didn’t use cocaine.  All of his drugs came from doctors, who were no better than drug dealers anyway.  He would just find a doctor who would prescribe him what he wanted, and BRING IT TO THE HOUSE.  If one wouldn’t do it, another would.  Obtaining his drugs through doctors elevated him above “dirty druggee” status.  I’m sorry to say Michael was far more dependent on his medications than I ever was on cocaine.  Suffice to say that our collaboration never happened.

 (indicates he also met Elton John through Princess Di)

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K:  Oh how did you like Elton?

F:  (shrug) I believe that dear Diana believed we would become friends because we were – to her understanding – both gay men, and both musicians, performers, arguably “over the top” performers too.  Di was a sweetheart, and we both did love her, but Elton and I were at opposite ends of the rainbow.  My band may have been called “Queen” but he was the true Queen.  He was… On rethinking it, I believe our personalities simply clashed.  Elton seemed to love to live like royalty – he had people for everything!  Bring me breakfast, wipe my ass!  He loved the royal treatment.  I preferred my privacy.  I had assistance cleaning the house, cooking on occasion, gardening – but I did not have “staff” the way Elton had staff.  We just could not relate.  I would never have played Las Vegas, for example.   

 K:  (This struck me as wrong, how could Queen with Freddie Mercury singing, have never played Las Vegas?  I tried to google it, but as Queen is still touring and *does* play in Las Vegas, it’s more than a simple search to answer that question.  I asked Freddie to clarify and he just cocked his head to the side, not sure how to interpret that.)

Have you met Michael in the afterlife at all?

F:  Of course!  And I was in the front row to greet Bowie, of course!  The party continues!  And Lennon too!  John Lennon, I never had the opportunity to befriend him in life.      

K:  I found a photo of you two together:

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F:  Yes!  John was a legend there and I was just starting out.  Queen had not fully happened at that point.  I was devastated when John was killed.  I couldn’t believe I had let all of that time pass, and we had never formed a friendship.  We were too busy, touring, and then John became quite reclusive, and lived in New York.  I should have taken the time – but, I thought there would be time.  I never thought either one of us would die, ever!  (laughs)

 K:  You were young and immortal?

F:  And a famous rock star!  That’s as close to immortality as one could get in the seventies!  It was absolutely wild.  With the women on the pill and there was free love everywhere, our generation scared the shit out of the establishment.  Your young generation should do what we did (get out of control).  Did you notice they let the 1980’s economic boom happened to calm all of the rebellious counter-culture youth?  It worked, as well.  After a while, our fans needed babysitters to come to our shows, or some would bring their kids and leave early!  Our audience was changing, but I knew Queen needed to continue as the band THEY remembered.  I wasn’t interested in aging, but it was happening.  Jim and I used to talk about growing old and decrepit together, I always insisted I was not going to do that!  He would say, “Well, speak for yourself, I have every intention of growing old.”  As it turned out, the decrepit happened, just not the old.  (lights a cigarette and smiles, twinkle in his eye.)

 K:  Did you ever want children, or more of a family with Jim or Mary?

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F:  (emphatically) No.  I would have been a shit father.  Proper parents must make parenting the focus of their whole life.  I knew I couldn’t do that.  I loved my cats like children, I was fortunate to have many friends, incredible artists, and I left my mark upon the world.  It was a successful life. 

 K:  Yes it was.  Thank you for talking to me.  Oh Freddie!  I almost forgot – a reader asked me to ask you if you are still with Jim in the afterlife?

F:  Yes.  (Shows Jim behind him, both have huge smiles.  Jim waves, he glows happiness.  There is also a privacy indicator, so I don’t ask follow-up questions.)  

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Andrea & Kate on a new episode of The Joyful Telepathy Podcast!

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Hello friends!  Happy New Year!

I have a new episode of The Joyful Telepathy Podcast for you today!

We pick up our theme of discussing smudging and other ways we could potentially be *harming ourselves and others* through our spiritual practice – this is a *must-listen* for everyone who uses this popular energy clearing technique!  My good friend Andrea Sexton Dumas has come on the podcast to discuss it with us!  If you check out her website, you’ll see she also clears homes professionally!  Here’s her bio:

Andrea Sexton Dumas, MA, CCHT is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, highly sensitive person, entrepreneur and digital preservationist based in the Oakland-SF Bay Area of Northern California (traditional land of the Ohlone). 

You can connect with Andrea directly at www.movementbeyond.org.


Did you know that you can have every episode of my podcast download to your smartphone, immediately?  And you can have quick, unlimited access to past episodes?

It’s easy!  All you have to do is download a podcast app.  I like Overcast for iPhone – and if you have an Android you can use Stitcher.

Once that’s installed, just search for “Kate Sitka” or “Joyful Telepathy” and my podcast will come right up!  Be sure to Subscribe so that episodes will load to your phone as soon as they are released!

That’s it!  I listen to podcasts myself every day – it’s the new radio!  The best part is you can download it to your phone and listen to them anywhere, even if you don’t have wifi!

Happy New Year – and Happy Listening!


Kate’s Top 5 Favorites of 2018!

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I thought I’d kick off 2019 by sharing some of my favourite things, Oprah style, from this past year that has helped me, enhanced my life, educated me, or fascinated me.  Here we go!


Food Psych Podcast


Through my health struggles and reaching out to various practitioners, doctors, naturopathic doctors, therapists, nutritionists, I developed an eating disorder.  Actually, what really happened was years of disordered eating habits mutated into an eating disorder.  I didn’t realize I had so many disordered eating habits, as that behavior is so normalized in our culture, and I was never considered “underweight” by BMI standards – even at my thinnest when my friends told me I was getting too thin.

It wasn’t until my body rebelled, and refused to get smaller no matter what behavior I engaged in, and then my surgeon told me to lose weight before my hysterectomy even though I’d been trying for years to reduce.  I was afraid I wouldn’t be allowed to have the surgery if I didn’t manage to lose weight – but it also didn’t make intuitive sense.  Before spiraling down too far on the road marked “bulimia”, I reached out to my friends, my survival instinct of “I just can’t live like this,” kicked in, and I talked to the surgical nurse to confirm they wouldn’t actually withhold the surgery if I didn’t succeed in losing any weight.  The nurse surprisingly said that most people actually didn’t lose weight before the surgery, which makes me wonder why on earth this surgeon, awesome and skilled as she was, recommended weight loss before surgery at all.

Fortunately, I found Food Psych.  This podcast, more than any other podcast about diet culture, intuitive eating, health at every size, and gentle nutrition, helped to confirm for myself that a lot of the messaging I’d internalized from all these professionals in my life was actually just wrong, and that the medical world which I also work in, is incredibly biased when it comes to weight.

I mean, I’d gotten to the point where the list of foods I couldn’t / shouldn’t eat due to my attempts to curb my pelvic pain and weight gain was so long that I would often feel anxiety or panic about what I could eat at all.  It was not a healthy place to be in, which is ironic because I was putting so much time and energy into trying to be HEALTHY!

I highly recommend the Food Psych podcast to everyone, because diet culture affects us and oppresses us all, and until we are educated, we actually perpetuate this oppression on ourselves and each other!  Let’s just STOP!  And get happier J

Okay, That’s quite a lot on Food Psych.  I wonder how long this post is going to get!


Massage Therapy

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For decades, I have avoided massage therapy.  Frankly, I don’t like being touched that much, and I feel like to pick up the therapist’s thoughts once in a while.  I can’t know for sure if that’s what’s happened, but even if what pops into my head during a massage is NOT telepathic sponging, it IS, at the very least, a sign of how uncomfortable I am.

Well, this year I decided to figure out how to get over my massage hangups, because I frankly really needed the help.  My recovery from surgery this past year has not been the upward gently inclined plane I had visualized it would be (not complaining, I just expected I’d be hiking regularly by now and feeling great about it, instead I still get exhausted by a 1 hour walk.)  I have done *so much physiotherapy* and found it to be frustrating, because I really couldn’t progress past 20 – 30 reps for exercises that were supposed to help my knees, lower back, and endurance.

About 6 months ago, my neck started to seize up.  Nothing I could do would fix it, and the discomfort was constant, and prevented me from sleeping well or enjoying my days.  I decided to go see a local massage therapist to see if it would help, and it DID, though it hurt like hell at times, and I felt like the therapist was having thoughts about my body.  For a while I thought I was just being self-conscious.  At one point when I commented that my calves were one of my favorite body parts, she replied, “Yes, they’re very lean,” and I felt like she thought I liked my calves because they had no fat on them.  This may not be what she meant at all, but really, what could she have meant?  She couldn’t have meant “strong”, which is what I meant, because “strong” and “lean” are very different things.

She was a super-skilled massage therapist and I absolutely would recommend her to friends, but there was something about her that fed my inner eating disorder monster – and that may have had nothing to do with her.  Regardless, I decided to switch to a different massage therapist for a different issue.

After my neck issue was resolved, it still didn’t resolve that my physio exercises just weren’t improving my ability to go on long hikes, and I was (AM) getting frustrated.  It’s been a YEAR since my surgery after all, shouldn’t I be all better by now?

Well I happened upon some physiotherapists on youtube, (stay tuned for my next favorite thing) and saw a simple exercise for the gluteus medius that immediately tickled my brain as the RIGHT THING!  In attempting to do this exercise over the next two weeks, I realized that my gluteus medius was just not functioning like it should, and that my legs in general were actually extremely stiff and sore all the time.

It’s funny how “stiff and sore” doesn’t register as pain at all, and therefore my brain didn’t really bring it to my attention.  It wasn’t until I started focusing on this area of my body for several days in a row that I realized something was wrong.

If I can’t even do these physio exercises, and I can feel the muscle engage but then crap out after a few minutes, I realized that my low back and butt is probably in the same shape as my neck was… so I decided to try a different massage therapist.

Different therapists have different communication styles, and even different ways of working the body, so I thought I’d try a different therapist at the same practice, just to see if I liked her better.

SHE. WAS. AWESOME!  Such a great listener – meaning, she listened with empathy, and I think she must have some background in energy work as well, because the session felt like massage therapy, but also like a light reiki treatment too.  Today my ass feels AMAZING and I actually feel like I want to go on a 2 hour hike and my body will handle it!  I can’t believe how much energy it freed up in my body!

Massage therapists are expensive for people to see on a regular basis if you don’t have benefits that cover the service, as I do.  However, I have found that massage therapists, particularly young ones looking for experience and new clients, can be more flexible on their prices or even willing to work for trade.  Back when Sweetie and I were entirely self-employed through our coffee roastery, I traded coffee for massage, as I was able to write off the coffee and it cost far less than the hourly rate of the session – and the therapist was happy with that.

If massage, or talk therapy, is something you really need for your health and you can’t afford the list price, there’s no harm in reaching out with a *very polite* non-entitled email explaining your situation and asking if they had any flexibility in their pricing or if they’d be willing to do a trade for whatever product or service you can bring to the table, be it child care, property maintenance, cleaning, etc.  You may be surprised.

I’m very optimistic about my butt right now, I think I may have hit on the thing that will get me hiking again!  And you know what that means – I can get another dog!



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I have mentioned before how pelvic floor physiotherapy helped me quite a bit, but it’s been a frustrating year for physio as mentioned above.  This does not sound like physio is one of my favorite things, does it?  But it IS because I know once you hit on the RIGHT physio exercise, my function and my LIFE improves dramatically!

Just like massage therapists, if you’re not making progress or something feels off with a physiotherapist, don’t give up, try a different practitioner, and do your own research too.  Try youtube videos!  Talk to your friends!  Just keep trying, because that’s the only way you’ll find what you need.


“Healing from Hidden Abuse” by Shannon Thomas LSCW

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This book was SO HELPFUL to me, and I think a number of my blog friends will find it helpful too.  I have often felt like I must be “creating something out of nothing” when it came to many formative life experiences and social dynamics in my life.  Sorry to be vague, but the abuse continues if I get too specific.

This book helped me to understand what psychological abuse is, it helped me to understand how I was also an abuser as a child, cast as a “flying monkey” before I really had my own understanding of the situation.  It is helping me to understand the cycle of abuse, which is something that drives our whole world, and it’s helped me to pick apart difficult dynamics I’ve encountered in my professional career as well.

What really enthused me was the information on how psychological abuse and spiritual abuse can team up. 

This is something I’ve seen in spiritual communities near and dear to my heart!

I’ve seen people vilified if they “go against” someone in the group who holds more power or status than they do.  This is a real danger when you have one person, or a few people, who represent a group.  We see this in cults, we see it in entrepreneurial groups, and heartrendingly, we see this in spiritual groups with leaders choosing to single out someone publicly, gaslight them privately, or recruit “flying monkeys” to abuse this individual by proxy.

If you’ve ever been bullied, if you’ve felt singled out or ostracized, if you’ve felt hurt but wondered if you were just “too sensitive”, this book may give you some surprising and liberating insights!

I recommend it to just about anyone who’s interest in piqued, because abuse dynamics are everywhere in our culture.  They’re in our families, our workplaces, and in our entertainment.  We are so indoctrinated to accept this treatment that we may even unintentionally perpetuate it on to others – maybe even to those closest to us.

It is a surprisingly good read, and I’ve read a LOT of books like this in the past three years, since I went into treatment for PTSD in 2016.  Many of these books were helpful, but Healing from Hidden Abuse was so validating, and understanding my experiences through this lens has been freeing and uplifting.  Shannon’s examples and descriptions were easily relate-able and I could see my own life experiences in her words.  I actually listened to the audio version on audible.com


The Joyful Telepathy Podcast


Okay, yes, I am wearing my self-promoting fascinator just for a moment, but I am also being sincere when I say how grateful I am to have started the podcast, and to have received so much support from my listeners.  It has facilitated many important discussions, talks I *never would have had* without the podcast!  Joyful Telepathy has brought me friends, helped me to teach, and has taught me the skills to launch my audio class, Telepathic Communication with Animals and Spirit.

My favourite discussions of 2018 were:

Talking to Animals 101 with Jessica


The Freddie Mercury Afterlife Interview

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AND OF COURSE, the Fabulous conversation with psychic medium / holds her doctorate in clinical psychology, the wise and wonderful Dr. Lana!  The episodes are here:  Part 1 and Part 2.

And that, my friends, is my Top 5 Favorite things in 2018!  Have a wonderful day!


Cover art for massage therapy graduation. Watercolor. Artist: Brynja Magnusson








2019: The Year of Leaving Behind!

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I think I’m not alone in being busy – 2018 was one beautiful, but hectic year for me.  I realized today that it’s been a while – too long – since I sat in silent meditation.


I’ve noticed that when I feel too busy, I tend to push off the very things that are good for me, and help me cope with busy-ness.  Yoga is something I used to do daily, and haven’t done in a while, and given my feelings of inner restlessness, I decided to start there.
I’m not one of these yoginis who finds all her peace and solace on her mat.  Sometimes, it’s the opposite.  If I’m moving through a series, guided by yoga youtube which I’d done before, and notice I can’t quite keep up to my old pace, or I’m not really enjoying it as the exertion is beyond my ease, I can end up feeling mentally worse on the mat than on the couch!  But that’s a head problem, and knowing it’s been a while, I took a moment to get my head right, and proactively encourage myself to move through at least 10 minutes, and modify wherever I needed to without shame.


Funny how an exercise meant to be self-care can end up being self-shaming if you’re not completely on top of yourself.  Being real here – I will never pretend to have my inner life together at all times, because none of us do.  In fact, if you find someone on youtube, Instagram, facebook etc., who appears to have all of their act together at all times, be skeptical and wonder for a moment what they’re choosing not to share.


So anyway, I got on my mat, went through the movements, and felt myself click back into a place, intuitively, that I haven’t felt since 2013, (the year my mother was diagnosed.)  It was a deeply peaceful, meditative place.  I have been breathing and moving in the years since 2013, certainly!  Today was different though, and I’ll tell you why I think that is:

I have decided that 2019 is going to be my Year of Leaving Behind. 

Since 2012, I have been so focused on surviving, then doing everything I could to visit my mother as often as I could before she died, then processing the endless geyser of emotional upheaval that continued to erupt in the years since her death!  Huge shifts happened within out family dynamic.  Big emotional events caused relational earthquakes.  My reproductive health took a nosedive and took over my life.  Even childhood events began to demand attention by showing up with unrelenting PTSD-like symptoms.

I coped pretty well, I think.  I went to therapy.  I went to doctors.  I talked to my friends.  I wrote about much of these challenges in this blog!  (Thank you so much for reading!  You help me more than you know!)

2018 has been an incredible year for me, after all we have worked through.  Sweetie and I got married!  I healed from my surgery.  I launched my Telepathic Communication Class.  I did more sessions this year than I’ve ever done in previous years.  My practice is growing, my health is improving, and I can feel things moving forward again.

To facilitate this forward motion, I’ve decided that 2019 is the year I let things go.  I have put so much energy into healing myself, and through that journey, I’ve learned that I really can *only* heal myself.


I can’t heal the past, no matter how much I think about it.

While I can certainly help other people, I can’t heal them through only my own effort.

Though I can express my own convictions, I can’t change other’s opinions.   I’m responsible for my actions, but not for what people think of me, my life, or what I choose to do with it.


My mission for 2019 is to let all of that go.


I’m going to leave behind the expectations that I internalized from other people.  This covers A LOT.

Instead, I am going to remind myself of the standards which *I* hold dear.


I’m going to leave behind the wishes and hopes and sighs of “if only things had been different”, because they weren’t, and really, that’s okay.

I going to remind myself to hold compassion for myself and for the other people in those thoughts.


I’m going to release responsibility and attachment for relationships I would love to have, but aren’t within my reach.

I will gently remind myself that I am not responsible to do all of the work that needs to be done.  And I will gently blanket myself with a new layer of emotional protection, which I deserve.


I don’t really do New Year’s Resolutions – in fact, I’ve been known to resolve to eat an egg for breakfast that very day – and that’s it, resolution accomplished!  However, I have been known to take up prayer this time of year, and I thought I’d share a bit of that with you.

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I have a prayer book.  Not a book of prayers written by other people, but prayers I’ve written myself.  Sometimes I call these, “letters to God”.  I do see myself in partnership with someone greater than myself, and as my understanding of spirituality expands.



I’m learning more about Judaism right now, and the philosophy discussions I’m listening to are so engaging – exciting, even.  All the years I attended the teachings of a dear Buddhist monk who takes the time to travel all the way out to the coast, I never felt the excitement of “yes I believe that!” or “Yes, I value that!”  So much about Buddhism is letting go, releasing expectation, attachment, giving love freely, believing in the butterfly effect of loving kindness, inner reflection, and unconditional compassion.  It’s a lifelong commitment and I *will* always carry these teachings forward.

I owe Buddhism so much in my ability to cope with physical and spiritual distress, and the meditation practice is something I will take with me for the rest of my life.  It is truly a gift.  Whereas Buddhism has brought me quite a lot of peace and strength, and Christianity has brought community, Judaism is really bringing the brain into spirituality – which is exciting!

For example, from Wikipedia:

Jewish ethical practice is typically understood to be marked by values such as justice, truth, peace, loving-kindness (chesed), compassion, humility, and self-respect. Specific Jewish ethical practices include practices of charity (tzedakah) and refraining from negative speech (lashon hara).  

There’s a lot to resonate with there, which I already hold as deep personal values.  I think the thing which I find most exciting about studying Judaism is that there is literally no way I will ever hit the bottom of the philosophical discussions within the community.  I’m not comparing or saying it’s “better” in any way – not at all my point, and I’ve already come across fundamentalist or uber-conservative rabbis who are problematic – it’s just that Judaism as a culture seems to embrace the UNKNOWN aspects of spirituality far more than Buddhism, Wicca, or any version of Christianity I’ve yet encountered.

I am just intrigued by a faith system that admits, “Hey, we don’t really know for sure, why the things that happen here on earth, happen – and we don’t really agree on what happens after you die either!  But we’ve been talking about it for thousands of years!”

A few of the customs I’ve been exposed to through Jewish friends have made an impression on me as well.  For example, in the event of an unexpected death, you still proceed with planned celebrations such as bar mitzvah and weddings, because in life, death walks beside us.  When, this past summer, people criticized a bride roundly for going ahead with her wedding when her mother had died in a surfing accident that morning, I thought of this practice and believe for some families it is completely appropriate not to cancel her wedding, and I believe, as the bride said, this is what her mother would have wanted.  (I don’t know if this family is Jewish or not.)

So the Faithware Upgrade continues!  Back to my prayer book:


I have this special journal, with paper so fine and soft I can’t stand to use it for anything but the most vulnerable thoughts in my heart.  This is not a journal for to do lists or business planning, it’s not even practical to write in that often, as the pages are small.  I only write very special things in them – my gratitude for the blessings in my life, and my prayers for support in doing better work, and looking after myself, my wife, and caring for my community.

This book is where I boil everything down to what I have to offer the earth, and what I need to accomplish that.

I haven’t written in this book for four years.

I had almost forgotten what I’d written in it.

After my yoga, I felt the strong urge to just sit in my body, in silent meditation, kegels for the mind!  When I sat upon my mat, with my cat, (ha) I went through my routine of addressing all the thoughts running through my head.  No wonder I like to listen to audiobooks!  It distracts me from all these THOUGHTS!  It took a while for all those thoughts to feel heard, and for my body to make its own state of the union speech, before the space cleared and before me, in my minds eye, I saw my prayer book, and I immediately knew I needed to pick it up and write in it.


Before I did, I gently folded back the pages I’d written four to eight years ago, and to my amazement, I could tick off every prayer as answered.  I had never before gone back to check.

My first entry, of course, was a big Thank You.  It’s been quite a journey, these past four years, but I sense a big shift now, like the gathering of momentum under me – the feeling you get when you’re on a horse, cantering across an open straight-away, and with a click of encouragement, you feel your horse shift underneath you, as you get high on her neck, gather yourselves before the burst of speed into a gallop!


I don’t know exactly what’s in store for me in the coming years, I do know that I’m ready – not from a place of need (as in, I need things to change) but from a place of growth, where I really can leave these other heavy things behind.


Sometimes healing is about letting go, and being at peace with the scar.  One thing is for sure, you can’t truly heal if you keep *looking* at the scar, you just accept it, and when you’re good and ready, you choose to release attachment to the events, the losses, the upheaval that surrounded that scar.  You work with it, and most importantly, you do NOT let it hold you back!


Here’s to my Year of Leaving Behind!

May we all release ourselves to gallop towards the future!


A very Happy New Year, my blog friends!  Tell me your resolution, if you have one!







Spirit Birthdays and Butter Tarts

Thanks Giving Dinner

Yesterday, while searching through my email for correspondence with another client, an email from 2013 popped up in front of me.  I did a bit of a double-take, because I recognized the name, though it had been five years since our session.

I wouldn’t normally reach out to a past client like this when we haven’t had contact for years, but I kept thinking about reaching out, getting these little nudges – which are usually invitations to experience something neat, on a spiritual level.

So I sent her a quick hello, in as respectful a way as possible, and suggested that perhaps, this was her dog’s way of saying hi after a few years.  Sometimes they like to take advantages of little connections like this.

Turns out, the pup’s birthday is next week.  While this beautiful dog had left her body, she still wanted to reach out to her human mom, and remind her.

It was very sweet, and pretty cool!  One of those tiny little miracles I enjoy so much as a part of this work.  You can’t *make* them happen, but sometimes if you listen to the little nudges, and reach out carefully and respectfully, neat things like this can happen.

Today, is also my mother’s birthday!  I have a little reminder set up in my calendar, because I don’t want to ever let a December 12th slip by without remembering it’s my mother’s birthday.  I like to just say aloud, Happy Birthday, before I do anything else with my day.

I would say my mom is having a good time in spirit.  I often feel her around when Sweetie and I are travelling or having a good time – I hear her laugh, layered with the laughing of others.  I feel her in the company of my grandmother, her mother, and my great-aunt.  I think they like to travel together, or tag along with us and I’m sure the other family members when we’re enjoying ourselves.

It’s neat, how happy I always perceive her to be, and she wants us to know she’s just fine.

It’s so interesting that birthdays seem to be a good time to connect with our loved ones in spirit.  I think it’s because we are thinking of them, and often the memories are lighter and happier on birthdays, than on other anniversary dates.  A lifetime of celebration creates a lightness around their birthdays – a dynamic energy that’s often full of love and cheerful memories.

I also think it’s easier for *them* to connect with *us*, when we create space for lightness and happy memories.  It takes a little discipline sometimes, and I will admit, my friends, I can get into a habit of being a tad morose on grief-related dates.  But I have some positive advice:

A friend of mine visits her grandfather’s grave on his birthday and eats a butter tart, which he loved.  I thought that was a great idea, so I’ve *also* had butter tarts on the anniversary of my mother’s death, as a way of doing something positive and creating happy habits on these important days.

I also happen to really enjoy butter tarts myself.  I spent a winter once, working on a recipe until I perfected it.  Perhaps I’ll post that later on!

I found I really needed to *do* something, because it does not do me, nor my mother, any good at all to allow myself to get depressed every year around dates of sad events, or dates which REMIND me of sad events.  It’s a lot to carry, and I’ve been working on letting it go.

As I mentioned before, sometimes we *need* to carry our grief with us for a time.  We don’t want to let it go too soon, because in a way, the deepness and length of time we grieve is a way of honoring what that person or animal friend truly meant to us.

But grief is also something you develop a relationship with.  You don’t have to fight it, or get rid of it, or get over it.  I personally welcome grief, especially in the beginning, because I know it’s helping me to get out all the feelings that demand witness.  Grief helps with that.

I also know my sneaky little brain can get into habits of thinking about the same things every day, or at certain times of the year, and I have learned that it can be a positive thing to engage these thoughts and negotiate with them, or re-purpose them, so they’re not something that’s simply happening to you, making you helpless and miserable, but instead something you can interact with, and actively engage, even incorporate into your life.

My mother died in April 2015, and today she would have been 67.  This morning, that thought made me sad.  Relatively speaking, she died young, certainly before anyone expected her to pass.  Of course, her birthday made me a bit sad this morning; that’s okay.  But do you think my mother, laughing and travelling in spirit, would want me to feel sad *all day* on her *birthday!?*  Every year???  OF COURSE NOT.

So for her sake, and my own, I have been incorporating these new little rituals in my life, on these significant dates, so that I can tell my body and my brain that while we can still feel sad, we can also celebrate, connect, and care for ourselves and those we have lost to spirit.

(Whenever I’m talking to myself, I seem to always shift to the plural form, “we”, which usually means my spirit form, my brain consciousness, my body, my dynamic layers of life experience, and all the people I’m connected with – including you, my dear reader, because we are surely as connected to each other through this blog as two trees on opposite edges of a forest, connected through a mass of touching roots.


I just realized that I need a happy ritual for my mother’s birthday.  What should it be?

Today, December 12th, and although St. Nicholas Day is December 6th, I have pretty vivid memories of getting little presents in my polished dress shoes on the same day my mother received her birthday presents.  There were sometimes red and white carnations, or a poinsettia from my father, and often there would be chocolate chip bundt cake.

Maybe that’s what I’ll do.  I’ll make that bundt cake recipe.  I need to get a bundt pan.

And I should pick up some stocking stuffers for Sweetie and wrap them!

Tonight is especially lovely, because we have the “Sail Past” in Ucluelet.   It’s this charming community tradition where locals decorate their boats in Christmas lights and sail around the harbour, shooting off fireworks!  It’s quite delightful and part of the charm of living in this small little town.  We have lived here for NINE years now!


Anyway.  I guess I’m writing this post to reach out to those of you who may be missing your loved ones in spirit, especially this time of year.  I know it’s hard.  It’s not easy for me to talk about how tough it has been at times.

I’m so grateful to my friends – so many of whom I made through this blog, who have literally shown me how to have positive, happy feelings on days when I might otherwise be inclined to be sad.

I’m so thankful, and I love you all!

Happy Birthday Mom, and Happy Holidays, my friends!




Dr. Lana is in the house!!!

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My Friends!  It is with great pride and joy that I give you my conversation with Dr. Lana!

Dr. Lana  is herself a psychic-medium AND she holds a Doctor of Psychology (Psy.D.) in Clinical Psychology.  She is currently serving as  a Post-Doctoral Fellow in Clinical Psychology.

Suffice to say, Dr. Lana is straight up overqualified to speak on cultural appropriation, and I’m SO grateful she was happy to have this conversation with me, and help me to tackle some of the *crazy* feedback I received on my original post and video.

You may recall, last May I wrote this blog post, and later posted this video, entitled “Why I No Longer Smudge.”

I knew I’d get some push-back from it, and I was STILL surprised at how much I received, and what these folks had the nerve to say!  Well, Dr. Lana is helping me to tackle the spackle in our two-part conversation, posted on the Joyful Telepathy Podcast!

Part 1 has been posted, and Part 2 will come out NEXT TUESDAY!

I shall attempt to embed the player here:


Or you can listen on joyfultelepathy.com

OR you can subscribe to the Joyful Telepathy Podcast via Apple Podcasts, or smartphone Podcast app of choice!  Just search for Kate Sitka, or Joyful Telepathy!

Plug in, sit back, and chuckle along with us as Dr. Lana and I bring lightness and brevity to the HEAVY spiritual topics that FEW MEDIUMS DARE TO ADDRESS such as Spiritual Bypassing, Cultural Appropriation, and our response to the comments such as, “I was a ______ in my past life, so I am allowed to use it!”

Stop reading!  Go listen now!

Have you listened yet?  If you have, here is some bonus material!  Because Dr. Lana is a fabulous academic, she has provided us with some further reading material, which I have uploaded here:

Principles of Inner Work – Psychological and Spiritual

Nothing Comes From Nowhere

From Cultural Exchange to Transculturation


Tune in Tuesday Dec 11th for PART TWO of our conversation!

And PLEASE feel free to leave your honest and respectful comments and questions here!  It’s okay to not know things – we are all a work in progress and we come from all different life experiences, all that I ask is that you extend your empathy and respect towards others, and observe your own reactions thoughtfully.

Just listening to this episode and *thinking* about these issues is GOOD WORK!  Thank you so much for joining us!

The *Best* Medium Technique???

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When I speak with a client for the first time, I have a “new client blurb” which explains how I make the connection with their loved one, and how I receive information.  Sometimes this is different from what people expect, so I thought I’d talk about it here.


Medium to Guide

A few well-known psychics describe working with their guides during every session.  Their guides become their filter, enforce their boundaries, provide protection and aid in grounding.  The experience for the medium who works via their guides is often very similar, session to session.  The telepathic language developed over time between the medium and the guide can become very efficient, and quite detailed, because every session is conducted between the medium and her guide(s), and it’s the guides who are speaking with your loved one on the other side.

The experience for the medium using this technique usually involves visuals.  Some have described it as being on black stage, with spotlights on themselves, their guides, the client’s loved ones, and possibly their loved one’s guides as well.  The medium’s guide does the work of conveying the information between the client’s loved one and the medium, utilizing the telepathic language the guide and the medium develop over their time training.

For the medium, this is a conversation which happens mainly between the medium and the guide, and although the medium may be able to visualize the client’s loved one, there is not a direct connection between the loved one and the medium, because the guide is the one connected with the medium.

I’ve designed this series of graphics to help you visualize what’s happening energetically.  Pay attention not just to the overlaps with the medium, but how each individual being is supporting each other.

Medium's Guide


With the Medium – Medium’s Guide – Spirit connection, you can see how most of the energetic output is done by the Medium – Medium’s Guide team.  The Client is supported by their own guide, and their loved one in spirit, and the medium’s own energy is quite separate from the client and connects to the loved one via the medium’s guide.

Of course, sessions tend to be fluid.  The client’s own guide may want to jump in and assist, or connect with the medium directly, or the client might ask the medium to connect with the client’s guide.  All of these energy relationships are very flexible, and there are no rules saying one technique is better, safer, or more correct than another technique.  They’re just different experiences, different paths to the same goal.

Sylvia Browne appeared to use this technique in many of her televised readings, and it’s a great technique to try when you are learning spirit communication – because each session will feel familiar, as your main energy output is between you and your guide.


Spirit Medium

The next technique is the one I like to use, which is a direct connection between the medium and the client’s loved one.

My “new client blurb” explains that I make the connection to the loved one in spirit *through the client*.  Some mediums don’t like to do this, because it’s a less controlled environment, energetically.  Instead of being on a smooth lake, it might feel like you’re bobbing up and down on waves of emotion.  Personally, I prefer this technique because I LIKE the feeling of connection with the client, and I prefer the direct connection with Spirit, rather than going through my guide all the time.  I enjoy the variety, I enjoy the challenge of adapting to each individual spirit’s style of communicating, and I find I get a better feel for the spirit’s personality, so I can convey that better to the client.

It’s just a preference, again, no better or worse, just a different technique.  Here it is, visualized:

Medium's Guide (1)

I like to call this the Spirit – Medium technique, which is why I call myself a Spirit Medium.

I like this technique because I can feel everyone there.  I feel like I get to know my client and their loved one better, and I can feel the support of everyone.  I don’t typically speak with my guide or the client’s guide during a session, I connect with the client, and piggy-back off of their love for their person in spirit to invite a connection with their loved one.

John Edward appears to use a combination of the Spirit Medium technique, and the Medium to Guide technique, depending on the situation.  A variation on this technique is connecting directly with Spirit through another tool like a photo, their birth date, or an object the Spirit loved or touched a lot.  Again, the connections shown here are all flexible, and sometimes the client themselves has a telepathic connection with the Spirit, so that gets to be fun in sessions too!

I think this technique contributes to my clients becoming my friends over time, as well.  Often my clients will feel *understood* during sessions, which can be a healing experience.


Direct Channeling

The last technique I’ll talk about today is an advanced and sometimes dramatic technique that is Direct Channeling.  Some people will refer to the first two techniques as “channeling” but I prefer to use that word to describe ONLY the following scenario.

This is where the Medium invites the Spirit to overlap in her physical body!  The most complete, intense scenario using this technique will have the medium’s voice and energy change, her gestures and mannerisms would change, and the medium would essentially give Spirit the keys to her car, with Spirit promising to drive carefully and fill it up with gas before bringing it back.

Now, I say this is an advanced technique, but I was surprised when a student of mine described this happening when she was in a sleepy (almost trance) state and her loved one visited her.  I was floored to hear my student describe it!  This is why I don’t tell students to start with one technique first, I like to get to know individual students and find out where their talent is, how they like to communicate, because it’s often easier and faster to work with your natural talents and build on the technique you gravitate to on your own.

Here’s a visual description of the Channeling technique:

Medium's Guide (2)

Here you can see the Medium’s guide is assisting, and the medium hasn’t left her body entirely, she’s merely sharing it.  The medium and her guide could “kick out” the Spirit at any point, but there shouldn’t be a need to assert boundaries because the Spirit doesn’t mean any harm, and is motivated to connect with the Client.

Direct Channeling is where the Medium shifts from being an interpreter, to being a gracious host.

This technique is very intense for the Medium, the Medium’s Guide, and the Spirit, and it can provide experiences for the Client that may not be possible otherwise.  I have heard Clients and friends describe channeling sessions involving hugging the Medium, and having a flash of an experience of hugging their loved one, even experiencing a familiar body odour or scent from the medium that reminded them of their loved one.

There are obvious advantages to this technique, the most obvious being that the Spirit can literally speak for themselves, so errors in interpretation are fewer.

I prefer not to use this technique unless I’m *really moved* to do so, and the client is right in front of me.  I find that when I disconnect enough to allow this to happen, I can’t really be there for my client in the same way.  It’s subtle, but it’s a big difference to me.  I like feeling connected with my Client as well as the Spirit.  For me, the experience of this technique is like a reversal of the flow of water – rather than coming through me, to the client, flowing through to the Spirit and back to me, the flow is coming from the Spirit, through me, to the client.  It feels more like standing under a waterfall than all being in the pool together.

So there you have it – these are three techniques described in general terms.  Remember that before any of these connections happen, the Medium has properly grounded, has mastered her protection and cleansing techniques, is settled, open, relaxed, and calm.

So what’s the *Best* technique?  The one that makes you happy!  The one that leaves you filled with energy and gratitude – whether you’re the Client or the Medium!

For new and developing mediums, you work with the techniques that work best for you, because that’s how you enable yourself to do many sessions instead of a few.  Your sessions should leave you feeling even better than when you started, just like anything else you enjoy doing.  (This also protects you from burnout!)  Always remember to take care of your Clients, too.

If you’re a developing medium yourself, I would love to hear from you!  I do have a class, where I cover all of the essentials leading you up to your first session, and I have built my class so that people can have at least one hour speaking with me about their personal development. 

If you have any questions about my class, or about where you are in your development, please feel free to email me:  tofinopsychic@gmail.com  And if you have any questions about this post, feel free to ask in the comments below!

Talk to you soon!







New Year Report Cards are back!!!

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Yes my friends, I am offering New Year Report Cards again this year!  They sell out every year – and last year, when I didn’t even advertise them due to the timing of my surgery, people *still* contacted me to book their annual Report Cards – a few of them waiting until Spring for their reading!

I really love doing these special readings, especially for the folks who return year after year.  I do have room for a few new people this year – my regulars have booked 2/3 of the sessions already, but this year I’d love to bring in a few new people!

What are New Year Report Cards you ask?

It’s a special, hour-long session over the phone, with your guides and myself looking at the energy themes at work in your life for the year past – 2018 – and the year 2019 ahead!

It’s a time to process what the past year was about, what you’re working on spiritually, and you get gentle nudges from your guides on directions to follow in the year ahead!

Many fans of my New Year Report Card have told me they refer back to their session as the year progresses and it’s helpful to them all year-long – this is why so many return every year.

And!  I have a special price for my New Year Report Cards – Just $131.25 USD!

Sound good?

You can book your New Year Report Card now! 

Talk to your Petsin Life& in SpiritBook My Report Card! (3)

As always, please feel free to email me if you have any questions at all!

I just love the holiday season!  Have a great day all!

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