Kate’s Mother’s story

kate sitka mom story

On January 15th, 2014, my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme.  That’s a big, bad, nasty brain cancer.  In the past, people who have received this news have survived for a year or so.

In April 2014, and in September 2014 I was able to travel home to be with my mother thanks to you amazing folks, my readers.  You donated to my travel fund, you booked readings, you told your friends.  Please know how grateful I am, I could not have done it without you.  You guys aren’t just blog readers, you’re friends and angels.

Thank you so much for your help.  I will be forever, forever grateful for that extra time with my mother.

On Thursday April 23rd, 2015, just before 3 am, my mother passed away while in the company of loving family.

She received the best possible care, but it still breaks my heart.

Thank you everyone for your kind words of support, and a very special thank you to the folks who have written me about their own losses, and how this blog and my mother’s story has helped them through some of the most difficult times of mourning.

Grief touches all of us, and so none of us are alone.

(Blog Post: Ashes to Dust Bunnies)

For all of your love and support, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Mom & Kate Aug 23 1979

New Psychic Developement Class

grow your skills

Hi Everyone!

Kate has an exciting new offering — an Intermediate level, online Psychic Development class!

It’s been in the works for a while now, and she’s really excited about it.

It’s going to be 2 classes, on 2 consecutive Sundays, 2 hours each (one hour lecture, one hour Q + A).  A total of 4 hours of study.  The total cost of the course will be $165 (a super deal, at a fraction of the cost of Kate’s services).

The conference calls will be held on Sunday, February 23rd at 11 am PST, and on Sunday March 2nd at 11 am PST.

Click here to find your local time

Why Intermediate?

Kate strongly feels that there is a lot of great content and resources available to those who are just looking to get in touch with their intuition and aren’t really sure where to start.  Kate’s list of Awesome Books is a great place to get started if you find yourself in the Beginner category:

Awesome Books!

Not sure if you’re an Intermediate?

As part of the course registration process, Kate asks that participants fill out an online questionnaire.  There are no right or wrong answers.  This questionnaire is designed give you a sense of where you are in relation to the class curriculum, and it will also help Kate understand who you are and where you are coming from.  The class will be limited to 8 – 10 participants and will include lots of time for Q + A, so there will be lots of time for individualized attention.

Sounds good?  Click here for more information and to register:

Study Online With Kate


An addendum to the earlier post:

Today Kate and I met up for coffee at a different coffee shop.  As we walk in the door a song starts playing.  “Oh, it’s Pearl Jam!” I say immediately recognizing Eddie Vedder’s voice but not the song.  Which was really cool because of the conversation we’d had yesterday.  And then, “No wait — it’s a Beatles song!”  It was perfect.

They always send me songs as signs.  Kate says it’s because I always notice and appreciate it.  (Her signs are usually birds, feathers, animals — which are things I might not notice).


Yesterday I emailed Kate about some thoughts I’d had about memory, a few things that had happened, and a discussion that I’d had with Kurt.  I thought maybe it could be a blog entry.  Kate said:

“I think that’s a totally amazing blog entry and you could post it as it, like as an email conversation between the two of us.”

Okay, cool!  So now it’s a blog entry.  I’ll give a bit of back story where necessary.

*  *  *

Hey, I read Jamie/Elisa’s CE post Milk of Amnesia and it was really timely because I’ve been thinking about memory a lot.  Like I’m thinking that memory is not what it looks like and our brains aren’t necessarily meat computers that we use to file data.  Otherwise we would never forget things if they were hard-wired in there.  I have a story about it.

I was trying to figure out for a long time how I could have “remembered” that that Degrassi actor had died, if it’s something that I didn’t know previously and it might not have even happened yet.  But it felt exactly like a memory.  That hadn’t really made sense and didn’t really become clearer over time.  Except when viewed from the perspective that time isn’t linear — but then that just means that I’m remembering something that I didn’t know, rather than remembering a future event.  Which also isn’t really how memory is supposed to work.

[Edit:  I’ve had several death premonitions over the years and I don’t think I’ve written about that here before.  It should probably be the subject of another entry.  The short version of the story I’m referencing is this:  I was watching (the old) Degrassi series back in 2007 and began wondering, “where are they now?”.  At that point I “remembered” that Wheels had died — except I couldn’t remember when or how it had happened, only how I’d felt when I’d heard the news.  So I checked Wiki, and found that he was apparently not dead — which was weird, because I really didn’t know why I’d thought that.  Then in 2012 it was all over the news that this actor had died in 2007 but no one knew until that year, including his family.]

Then there was that dream I had where I visited that temple in the past, but it felt like the present.  I don’t know if that “should have” felt like a memory or not though.  If I was really there, maybe it just was the present in that context, if you know what I mean.

[Edit:  This was a dream that I’d mentioned to Kate where I’m pretty sure I actually went time traveling.  I was standing outside a small round stone building with woman that I knew at the time but can’t identify.  We were waiting to have our feet washed in this temple.  We’re up on a hill, everything is really green.  As this woman and I are talking I’m looking at the wall beside me.  She asks what I’m thinking, noticing I’d drifted off and I ask her when the temple was built.  She pauses then tells me, “500 BC”.  Another pause.  “I know, it’s in really good shape, isn’t it?”, then changes the subject.  It had caught my attention because the masonry wasn’t modern, yet there was no soot or weathering.  Because I’m an art history student there would be follow up questions for her had she not changed the subject.  I wasn’t really meant to know that we were time traveling; we were there for the blessing.  I didn’t figure it out until I woke up.]

Anyway I had another weird memory experience at the COFFEESHOP! yesterday.  I was going to relay it to you at the time but in order to tell the story I needed some photos, and a bit of a back story, and I needed to verify some details for myself so I figured I’d just tell you later.  Also anyone overhearing it would just think I sounded crazy, so there’s that.

[Edit:  It’s the COFFEESHOP!! because one day we went there to do some business planning and there was a girl at the table beside us with a laptop, the cord of which was strung across the doorway at the top of a rickety wooden staircase.  She was on Skype talking to her friend without a headset, apparently getting bad internet connectivity, and shouting into her computer’s built-in microphone, “I’M IN A COFFEE SHOP!  A COFFEE SHOP!!  WHAT??  We rolled our eyes and left.  Now it’s a running joke.]

What happened was I had this moment when we ordered our coffees at the counter and I saw our barista, where I was like (in my head) “Omg!! He looks like one of the guys from Pearl Jam!”  Like, “Holy shit, did I step into a time warp?”

— In case you’re not familiar, Pearl Jam look like this:

pearl-jam1 pearl_jam

Long hair, long cargo shorts, black tshirt, several necklaces, beret, etc.  They wore long johns all the time under their cargo shorts, like leggings.  It’s a specific sort of brand of 90s grunge.  In my mind this guy looks exactly like this.

More back story:  Pearl Jam are an early 90s band from Seattle, contemporaries of Nirvana.  (Although they’re actually still around).

Anyway.  Now Kurt overhears this and is like, “Which one (does he look like)??  Jeff Amett??”

I try to remember what that guy looks like.  Then I see him:


“…Hmm.  No, the other one”.

“Stone Gossard?”

I search my mind, then see him:


“Totally!!  Except he’s wearing the other guy’s clothes.  He’s like a mix of the two”.

Kurt laughs, “The Green River guys“.  There’s some mock resentment there.

I’m like, “Oh yeahhhh…”, suddenly remembering that before Pearl Jam were big that they were in Green River, and they were label mates with Nirvana, and the label spent way more money promoting that other band, and that it drove Kurt nuts.  I remembered reading that in Come as You Are.

Now I’m thinking, “I can’t believe I actually remember this!  I haven’t seen the liner notes of a Pearl Jam album in years — how the fuck do I know who’s in Pearl Jam??”

Kurt’s like, “You don’t remember.  I remember, and I’m telling you”.

I’m like, “…Oh.  Well yeah, but I mean I remember what they look like…”

He’s like, “I sent you that, too”.

Well, shit. :p
Somehow that all happened in a few minutes while we were ordering.  And although I felt sure about these details when I thought I had remembered this stuff, now I wasn’t sure I had the names right or matched the names to the right faces correctly.  I was losing confidence suddenly so I had to check it out when I got home.

I HAD got it exactly right though, the names and the faces.  Except Jeff Amett’s name is actually Jeff Ament.  But it sounds exactly the same and I probably would have made the same mistake if I’d heard it spoken aloud.

Then I thought that if I had been exposed to this information in the past, isn’t it just remembering?  Or triggering a memory?

I don’t know.  I forget common nouns sometimes.  I forget my own phone number when I’m under pressure.

Also, I’ve definitely noticed fluctuations in my memory in the past, where there have been times when I just seem to be brilliant because I’ve been able to pull information in *really* fast so I become really quick-witted and creative.  It has everything to do with the way I’m processing information and how quick and/or far-reaching my memory feels.  Other times even though I know I’m just as smart it takes a lot longer to remember things or to explain things to other people.

So I really had to process all this and ask, “What is memory?”  It took me a few hours to sort through this.

I already sort of understood that you can draw information in from the “thought cloud”, or Acashic records, or whatever you want to call it.  And I’ve heard that there are actual neurons in our hearts and guts so it’s probably literally true that our bodies store memories, thoughts, experiences, etc.  What Kurt told me is that memory is the “emotional recognition of the truth”.

I’m like, “Really??”

He’s like, “Well, why do you think you’ve never been able to learn anything that you doesn’t make sense to you, or that you don’t believe, or you think is bullshit?  Your system won’t process it, it thinks it’s garbage”.

Hmm.  That’s true.  Plus it makes sense then how I “remembered” that the Degrassi guy was dead — I recognized it emotionally because it was true.  That feeling is memory.  Or maybe it accompanies memory.

Then I was shown myself meeting a prospective business partner for the first time, closing up, and going, “That guy’s a tool”.  That’s the emotional recognition of bullshit.

So then I was thinking, “Well, but I can memorize things.  Like if I have to.  But it doesn’t stick, so what happens?”

And I’m kind of shown that I can draw things in from this thought cloud and carry them in my own energetic field for quick access.  Like if I needed them for a test or something.  But if it doesn’t resonate then it doesn’t stay attached to me.  It’s not something I plan to use.  Short term memory is more an act of will then a function of emotion.

So, that was interesting.

Also I clued in a bit later on that maybe Kurt had come to the grocery store and was all, “Look!  Canned sausages!!”


because I just don’t know why I would have noticed them otherwise.  Then you noticed them too.  That’s a vintage can of Prairie Boy Sausages.  So that “Hey you should decorate with this!” vibe may not have been coming from me.


maple leaf vienna sausage

[Edit:  Kate found me absentmindedly looking at a display of little cans of sausages and meats.  She just looked at me and said, “…Really?”  (I don’t actually eat red meat.)  I was like, “…Huh?  No, I don’t want to eat this.  It’s just interesting”.  She’s like, “That’s what I mean.  You have this look like you want to take them home, not eat them, line them up on your art shelf, and look at them”.  (I don’t know what that look looks like.  But her concern is well grounded since I did make a lot of meat-related art projects last year.)]

Kate responded:

It’s funny about the canned meat, because Kurt popped into my head in that moment too and I didn’t acknowledge it out loud.

[Edit:  Kate said she’d randomly started thinking about writing on walls.  I didn’t clarify if she was thinking about writing on walls herself or not.  (“No writing on walls unless it is to measure height of Frances!!”)

It’s a good thing you sent the pics to me because I have no idea who pearl jam is / was and I wouldn’t have appreciated how cool and significant this exchange was if you’d told me about it at the time.  It would’ve been totally anticlimactic for you.  All of that is new information to me.

The thing about memory: when I’m talking with a spirit person (as opposed to an animal or other consciousness) very often they’ll trigger my own memories to expand on or make their point clear.  Sometimes it’s obvious when they trigger these memories intentionally, because I’ll hear, “It’s like when you … (shows the memory).”

But other times the energy of their message is what triggers a memory, because it’s like my brain / experience is responding to their communication by mirroring the closest experience I have available from my own life.  This is where building a language system of symbols comes in handy.  I think that’s why John Edward or Teresa Caputo will say something like, “I see a rose which is my symbol for love, but I see thorns which is the symbol for the person having difficulty expressing love in life.”  They learn to use associated memories and symbols as a means to build the telepathic language.

I also think this is why I often get names *close* but not exactly.  Like Judy becomes Julie.   The first letter of the name is almost always correct, and I think this is why psychics like Sylvia Browne would only stick with initials of names and wouldn’t even try to get the whole name at all.

I’d count a lot more “hits” if I only ever offered the first initial of a person instead of trying to get the whole name.  That is only right maybe half the time, but if I didn’t even try, we’d never get those amazing moments when the correct name comes right out of the air.  I love those moments.   I think that in order for me to get a name correctly, two things need to happen: 1. I’ve heard the name before so there’s a memory to trigger / reinforce the message and 2. Each individual spirit brings their own power and expertise to communication.  Some are clearer than others, or some sessions are easier / full of verifiable information.

I get what you mean about “remembering” information that is true, but you hadn’t actually heard.  This happened to me all the time in grade school when they’d try to teach us things like “animals don’t use tools”.  I knew they did.  At the time, I don’t think I’d actually witnessed an animal using a tool, but I was *certain* they did.   That same lesson taught that animals didn’t recognize themselves in a mirror.  Some of them don’t, but I knew some of them definitely did.  It just depended upon how much an individual depended upon their eyes, and their ability to process the information in a reflection.  Remember that children have to be taught that the thing in a mirror is them.

I think of memory as another “sense” ie another way to interpret your reality.

Office Goddess


Hi Everyone,

It’s Kat here, aka Sweetie.

So as a couple of you already know I’m going to be helping Kate out around here.  I have been promoted to Office Goddess; you can call me “the OG” if you like. 😉

I found the above image in a Bing image search — I gather she’s Phonia, Guardian of Phones.  (BTW I don’t recommend entering the search criteria “office goddess” into Bing’s image search with the SafeSearch mode turned off.  Just trust me on this one).

If you use our handy web contact form to book a reading, or email Kate at tofinopsychic@gmail.com for any professional matters, I’ll probably be your first point of contact.  Kate will still be blogging and doing all of your readings of course, but I’m going to be handling all the stuff that isn’t her genius work, so she’ll have a lot more time to do that.  🙂

Take care everyone, Happy New Year, and I look forward to talking with you!

A New Offering for a New Year.

To begin the New Year, Kate would like to offer something special to readers, fans and friends: A New Years reading with spirit guides, and your own higher self.

Kate will work with your guides using a recent photo of you to complete a kind of “report card” for you — a summary of 2013, and guidance and gentle nudges from spirit as we enter into 2014.

In order to complete these during the month of January, they will be offered on a limited basis (3 – 5 in total), and they will be offered at a special rate of $100.

These will be done as email readings in a format you can print out and keep, and refer back to throughout the coming year.

To book your New Year Report Card click here.

Thank you all for following Kate’s blog!

Extended family

I remember watching Carl Sagan’s “Cosmos’ series a few years ago.  I’ve actually watched it a lot of times since.  But one thing that made a huge impression on me was a story that that he told about the Spanish arriving in the Americas.  He said that the people on the shores couldn’t see the ships arriving on the horizon, because they had never seen a ship before.  It took a holy man to point the ships out to them; he could see the invisible.

“But how can this be,” you might think, “ships exist“.

That’s what I thought for a long time.  I felt like it was true, but I didn’t understand how it could be true, that we don’t see all that exists.

It makes me think of that expression, “You can’t teach someone something that they don’t already know”.  It’s a paradox, right?  But it’s certainly been true in my life.  I’ll “learn” something that’s sort of already of the periphery of my understanding.  Or I won’t learn it at all.  Or, I’ll think I’ve learned something, and then I’ll really learn it on a whole other level.  Knowledge, in my experience, is revealed in its own time and according to it’s own schedule.

That “our minds are weird” is an understatement.  Since that time I’ve had my own experiences of “enemy ships on my horizon”.  Kate and I had fallings out with a couple of people in our small town — not many, because we’re super-nice girls.  But one or 2.  When she sees them in the grocery store, she gets really quiet.  I don’t see them at all and chatter on obliviously about magazines at the checkout.  Afterwards she says, “Ugh, _____ was behind us at the till”.  I’m just like, “What, really?  I didn’t see him.  I guess that guy’s just dead to me”.  He literally does not exist in my universe.

(Just to recap:  Living humans = dead to me.  Actual dead people = friends of mine.  Truly we edit our own reality).

One other thing I’ve noticed is that when weird things happen to me — really weird things — I might just forget about them.  I can’t contextualize them.  I’ve had quite a few memories of encounters with the supernatural resurface within the last 2 years or so, just because I’m ready to learn now.  I’m not afraid of these experiences.  We learn what we learn when we’re ready to learn it.

Kate and I started watching that show “Psychic Kids:  Children of the Paranormal” a couple of years ago.  I remember one episode where this little kid was talking about a man that showed up in her room one day, in a suit.  I was like, “…That happened to me”.  I just realized it in that moment.  I couldn’t remember any details at first.  I was probably 5 and I hadn’t thought about it since then.  It was just like when I saw Un Chein Andalou — startling — but then buried quickly.

So here’s what I remember:

I was in my bedroom, sitting on the floor.  I had this white 4-poster bed and I had a toy monkey named “Mookey” that I kept curled around one of the posts with his bendy arms.  I looked up at the bed — I’m not sure why — I felt something, or sensed something.    And then I saw something.  Bluish.  As I looked into it I thought I saw some facial details.  I looked away.  “My eyes are playing tricks on me”, I’d thought.  I’d spooked myself.  Then I heard a voice say something like, “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost!”.  And I looked back, and there was a man sitting on my bed, there beside Mookey, with a moustache and a blue suit.  He introduced himself as my uncle Jack.


“Do you know who I am?  Have your mom and dad ever told you about me?”

I shook my head.

“No, I guess they wouldn’t have”.  *pause*  “Well, I know you, and I know all your brothers”.

That was all I really needed to hear — I had thought that I’d seen a ghost, but, this guy was obviously my uncle — I just knew he was telling me the truth about that.  And my other uncles aren’t ghosts — no one in my family were ghosts as far as I knew so — this was all fine.  I relaxed.

He smiled, and told me a lot of funny stories about my brothers when they were little boys.  My brothers are all 10-15 years older than I am.  It was obvious that he loved them a lot.  After a while he noticed that my attention had started to drift, and he just laughed and observed, “Grown ups are always telling you stories about things that happened before you were born”.  He was such good company that I’d forgotten that he’d basically materialized before my eyes in this room, and how crazy and weird that was.  I’d forgotten to be scared.

Still, I looked at the sleeve of his coat, and I noticed that it was luminous.  It was filled with little rainbow sparkles, it looked like sunlight on mist.  It was mesmerizing.  Then he gave me some life advice:

He said I could be or do anything that I wanted to.  I nodded.  He said, “I know you know that now, but as you get older it gets harder to remember that.  That’s what growing up is.  Grown ups will make you feel like your choices are limited because they’re scared.  They’re not”.

This was really a telepathic conversation, but it didn’t feel like one.  His lips moved, and he spoke to me.  But he understood what I was thinking and feeling, and responded to that.  I’d never really felt understood by an adult before or like I was being treated like an equal.  While I didn’t remember the conversation specifically, I did internalize it.  I grew up feeling “supported by my family” in my creative endeavours, even though I didn’t exactly know why.  So I’m grateful for that.

Eventually, he had to go.  I’m not really sure how much time had passed.  10 minutes?  An hour?  I don’t know.  He said, “You probably shouldn’t tell anyone I was here”.

I just thought, “What??  That doesn’t make any sense.  My mom’s downstairs, and some of my brothers.  Don’t you want to say hi??  You’ve been talking to me this whole time and I’ve never met you before.  You’re telling me stories about them instead of talking to them.  They’ll want to see you too!”  (That was not so much words as it was a flash of emotion and a confused look that passed over my face).  I didn’t get it.

He shook his head.  “I’ve just been gone a long time”.  I still didn’t get it — all the more reason to say hi!  He said goodbye and asked me to look away and count to 10 or something, like a game.  And he was gone.

And… I didn’t listen.  I went downstairs and announced that there was a man in my room.  My mom flipped out and ran upstairs with my brother in tow.

“How did he get in??”

“…I don’t know”.

“Well, where is he now??”

“…I don’t know.  It’s ok, he was my uncle…”

‘NO, he wasn’t!  Your uncles don’t live here!  Don’t listen to strange men who say they’re your uncles!”


Eventually it was decided that I might have imagined it.

For some time later I attended family events — weddings, Christmas visits — wondering what happened to my “cool uncle”.  (I hadn’t done a head count on the family yet and taken stock of them all).

One time, a little later on, I remember going through old photos with my mom.  she was showing me pictures of her family from when she was a teenager.  “That’s uncle Terry and uncle Garry, they live in Sudbury.  That’s uncle Jack”.

I’m like, “I remember him”.

“No, honey”.

“I met him one time!”.  I was pretty convinced.

“…No, he died before you were born”.

Hmm.  Well, I’d been so sure I was right, but I also believed what she said.  So I’d almost figured it out.  But I couldn’t remember where I’d met him, or when.

In any case, he did die 8 years before I was born — and I did meet him.

Quantum physics suggests that an observer is necessary to construct reality; that we see what we expect to see.  We don’t expect to see the dead, or hear them.  We do expect to see the living, and physical objects in our environment.  I really wonder a lot — all the time, actually — what else is here that I’m not seeing.  Maybe it’s a question of what I want to see.  I’m not sure.