John: Art and a Good End for the New Year!

2017-01-01

My Wonderful Blog Friends – Here’s to a good end for 2016, and to hope, energy, and unity in 2017!

 

Hi John!

 

Happy new year, darling!  We appreciate that some years deserve the bum!

 

(“deserve the bum” has a few dirty meanings)

 

I know it’s been a rough year for so many.  What would you like to say about it?

 

You must never give up hope.  We’re going through the cycle again – (shows me the current culture is reviving a lot of the sentiment and ideals from mid 1950s, which was a time most people considered modern and progressive.)  Yet it’s so backwards, people see what they want to see.  They don’t see others or themselves for how they are, they see what they idealize.  That’s wonderful, in many ways.  Dreaming is important. 

 

Action is just as important. 

 

Not more important than dreaming?

 

Without dreams, how can you imagine all possible action?  Art is important.  Thought is important.  This is why we thought LSD was such a revolution at the time – it created thoughts and “expanded the mind” in ways that would never have been possible.  We didn’t have the internet, you’ll remember.  (He’s teasing.)  We (back in the 70s) believed in the magic of imagination.  If you could dream it, you could create it – if your thoughts were limited by everything you’d been taught and seen in your lifetime, your dreams would be limited.  It was sad, at times; alarming as well. 

 

We believed – foolishly – that if everyone could just experience the psychological and imaginative power of LSD, it would free the mind, free the imagination, to never-before-dreamed-of possibilities!  It’s was part of the revolution.

 

Of course, it didn’t work like that!

 

Yeah, I can appreciate the line of thinking through.  We still see that.  Imagine, visualize the life you want, the world you want, and you can create it.

 

Well, you’re one step closer to creating it.  (Shows me shoveling dirt from a trench.) 

 

What do you mean?

 

It’s like excavating new channels for the mind.  Creating new shapes for the thoughts to flow!  Canals for the imagination!  (Big grin.)

 

Digging holes in the brain?  Are we talking about LSD again?

 

(laughs, takes a deep drag on a cigarette he suddenly has, and I smell the sharp smoke.  Now John has solidified in my mind, he’s lazing back on a chaise lounge, it’s white, with a battered, worn feeling, but perfectly clean.  It’s in a loft apartment with wide industrial windows nearly to the ceiling.  It’s a large room but feels intimate.  There’s a plush red patterned carpet under the chase longue, and I worried for a moment about the ash burning it as John ashes into a ridiculously massive crystal ash tray on the floor.  The room is somehow opulent and sparse; stark and cozy at the same time.)

 

No, love, we aren’t talking of LSD at the moment.  I thought we were talking of imagination!  Imagining things is hard work – don’t underestimate it.  There is heavy lifting in the excavation of the mind!  Just ask any artist!

 

(Thinking of Sweetie) I know.  What do you think the role of artists is right now?  In the year 2017, in the context of the future’s history?  Can you see that?

 

(Laughs and takes another drag.)  That’s quite a creative question!  (He gives me a rhyme / limerick that I don’t quite get – something like “… all the fun, an artist’s work is never done!”)  Art will always serve the same purpose – art never dies, it never disappears, though it may have to go underground.  You can’t stop it, can’t eliminate it – which is why art is so useful in protesting the established regimen!  (significant look.)  Remember I was alive during Nixon. 

 

Apparently I need to do more research about Nixon.  I don’t know too much about him, I haven’t been that interested.

 

Well let’s put it this way, darling.  It would behoove all of you to become VERY interested in former President Nixon.  He’s playing all the tricks from the same hat.  (President Trump’s leadership will mirror Nixon’s in many ways.)

 

(John stands up on a podium, as though speaking over the heads of a large crowd, points his finger directly up in the air and projects his words:) An educated mind is not easily led!

 

Oh!  And art can be used to educate others, obviously.

 

It’s just communication, another form of speaking to your fellow human.  Art is a way of whispering to people who don’t wish to listen.  Who would rather deny.  If you can’t get them through the ears, get them through the eyes, or the heart!  Most people have a heart.  Most people! 

 

Is art – (before I even finish typing the question he breaks in with a very forceful statement-)

 

YES art is the ESSENTIAL form of resistance.  It’s the IDEAL form of resistance!  What are concerts without songs?  What are marches without signs?  What is a movement without art?  Just a bunch of people, milling about like cattle!  (He laughs kindly.)  The best / most exciting thing about art is that *everyone* can participate.  Must participate.  SHOULD participate!  With love, remember.  With Hope.

 

And Happy New Year, darling Kate.  (He’s giving me a flirty little eye twinkle.)

 

Thank you for popping in John.  Happy New Year to you.  And Happy New Year to all my beautiful blog friends!

 

 

 

 

 

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Look what we found!

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When Sweetie was 13, she had her first conversations with John Lennon. She kept journals at the time , but burned them in a fit of “holy shit I must be crazy.”

While she visited her folks last month, she found a few surviving drawings from that time.

I like them.

Celebrity Friday: John’s Parallel Realities

 

John says, At some point, you just make the decision to make money. 

(John’s pointing to a recent conversation Sweetie & I have had about “branding” – how it’s at work in the women’s business world, how business coaches and brand experts are having this massive impact on social media, and the tangible, though not always positive, effect it has on our sense of a person’s authenticity as a professional marketer, real estate agent, psychotherapist etc.)

(John indicates agreement with the branding system, which surprises me.)

John says, do you think I *liked* those queer haircuts?  That was Brian’s idea.  He created our brand.  He was a genius.  (Shows me a quick flash of many other “boy bands” which have followed) We were truly the first.  (Show’s me Buddy Holiday and his band) They weren’t *quite* there.  It was Brian – he understood young girls, he said “If you get the girls to fall in love with you, the boys will try to BE you.”

I never believed that boys would go for such queer haircuts as the (monstrosities?) Brian gave to us – I had tried to (create our brand) with leather clothing – cool jackets, I wanted us to get motorcycles.  I didn’t want to give a damn what grandmothers thought of us.  We weren’t playing for the grandmothers, right?  We were playing for us.  I said that.

And Brian said, “Exactly.  So shut the fuck up and stop wasting your time.”

So what did you do?

I shut the fuck up and let him cut my hair.  We went (on a TV show) looking like that, I was pissed off (mortified.)  Boys feel JUST as bad as girls if they get a wanker hair cut!  (makes spastic arm gestures)

But then Brian booked us a show that (shows me a football stadium.)  It was the biggest show we’d every played.  It was unbelievable.  (Shows himself standing on the stage, looking up at the crowd.)  I realized, it was just a fucking haircut.  THIS is what I wanted. 

John was your hair even that long at first?  I thought you had it pretty short, spikey?

Yes, he flattened it all out.  Search for 1963, find the photo.

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That FUCKING tie.  I had a fag ‘cause I looked like one.  It’s true. 

(We have a brief back and forth about this choice of words.) Ask anyone who was there.  That’s what I said.

(Yeah, I’ll get right on that, John.  That would be a fun conversation with Paul McCartney’s call screener.)

It fucking *worked*.  You could say it was the music, just the songs and the words – it wasn’t.  It was about creating our first album, (shows me a present, gift-wrapped) a package people could buy.  We could sell-out pubs our whole lives and die poor alcoholics.  We couldn’t just make a fucking mix tape (demo tape) and mail it to the radio station.  (HA!  He’s teasing Kurt Cobain with that one.)  Na.  We made the decision, we went *after* it, and it was all Brian.  He’s the genius.  We never would have been anything without him.

This surprises me, because I thought, well, when something’s meant to happen, it does, you know?

NO.  NO.  There is so much more that happens than is meant to happen.  What is “meant” to happen is what you WANTED with your life.  I should have lived longer, that’s what I wanted.  Everyone (knew / felt) that. 

Hey, is there a parallel reality where you’re still incarnated?

(Shows me himself in an old man beard – he looks like Leonardo da Vinci)  I’ve been an old man enough times.  It’s horrible.  No, I doubt I would have chosen to live to the age of arthritis in any parallel reality.

Don’t you know?  Isn’t there a higher perspective you gain, being on the other side and all?

Yes.  But.  The aspect of me speaking to you is engaged in THIS reality.  I have a heavy identity, an heavy investment in THIS reality as THIS version of John.  It gets very confusing for everyone if I were to integrate completely (shows what looks like an upside-down tree, and as you travel “up” the tree, the various timelines / identities join together.  There is a point where the lines completely join into a trunk, but they branch out a bit again at the top, like a root ball, but it’s not nearly as complex as the branches at the bottom.)

If I were to talk to you, and all the thousands of others I talk to, if I were a completely, fully integrated being, how would you know it was me?  If I weren’t peeking into your bedroom making dirty jokes, would you love me as much?  (wink!)

Wow, I thought that there was this big reveal at some point after you die, like you remember all the things about yourself that you don’t remember when you’re incarnated.

You do, so much as you WANT to.  I rather like being John.  I don’t have to be John, I can be a cartoon character if I liked, but being John is *useful* so I *want* to present as this collection of experiences and ideas.  People (other beings) engage with me this way, that’s my purpose, and it feel wonderful to live your purpose.

You don’t stop living, just because you die, you know.  Sometimes death can be an inconvenience, but it doesn’t have to stop you being you. 

But you can integrate and be John + John’s past lives + all John’s parallel realities if you want?

Past and future, yes.  It would also be like blinking out of existence.

So your personality, and I guess everyone’s personality, is defined by our separateness from the parallel realities.  We’re individuals because there’s separation.  I feel like smacking my forehead here.  It’s a crazy-simple explanation to this complex idea of “what is consciousness?” or “who am I?” 

And that really explains how we can be “part of everything” too.  Because once all those parallel realities integrate, we’re complete, whole beings, and we’re also undifferentiated from each other – even in separation.  We literally all become one at that level, because all our “lines” eventually meet up into a giant tree trunk. 

Isn’t it wonderful?  (smile)

Yes, and it’s also kind of obliterating. 

We should start a religion.  Call it Unified Nihilism.  No one could kill each other over it, because there’s nothing to fight for.  (eye twinkle) 

Cue “Imagine”. 

Yeah, I was really depressed when I wrote that song.  I always felt a little sad when I played it. 

Really?  (He gives me the feeling, and describes it as the feeling you get when you watch your child leave home for college.  You love them, you’re proud of them, you know they’ll be alright, but you’re deeply sad to see them go.)

I felt like that when I played it.  I loved that people loved it.  But it always pulled at my heart to play it.

Awww.  Here’s the video.

You children and your technology. 

Oh, and you really need to buy a new bed! 

Thanks John!  Love you.

Imagine Peace

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Grainy photo of Candis, posted with her permission, from last night’s meditation. There’s Sunshine the cat, helping us out.

Jacqueline pointed out to me that today is the anniversary of John’s death.

Maybe that’s why George was so strong about this meditation last night. It came through with this strong urgency. I called out to my meditation buddies, Aaron, Candice and Hernan, literally sending out this psychic broadcast “Meet me at 300” (none of them have cell phones or Internet, but we always manage to find each other.)

There they were, when I set out to find them. All three of them together at the laundromat. It looked like a big coincidence of course, they had no idea why they ended up there at the right time. When I asked, could they come to this meditation tonight, they immediately replied, of course they would.

It was funny, the whole thing had this Meditation Emergency!!!! sense about it.

I basically just read them the entry, and we fell into silence. Oh! And I had made this production of putting this mantra song on repeat – the mantra, Om Sri Rama Jaya Rama Jaya Jaya Rama – it had to be that mantra for some reason. During the meditation, George said that was his first mantra. It was Sweetie’s first mantra too, and it was Ghandi’s first mantra.

It means victory to God, where god is the higher power and also our own higher self. It’s a prayer to reach our highest and purest potential.

During the meditation, the five of us reached out with our hearts, and experienced Heaven “backfilling” the energy, so that we were the conduit, the connection, the wiring by which the love of heaven may reach those in need.

We did this with the intention of founding an energy net that will one day connect every person on earth in love and peace.

Today, Jacqueline reminds me it’s the anniversary of John’s death, and my iPhone played “imagine” all by itself.

I don’t even have any of his music on my phone.

As I listened to the song, I understood a different level of meaning, in the context of all of humanity connected by the love flowing to each other from our hearts, love in unlimited supply, fueled from heaven.

9pm Dec 7 2012, Join us here in spirit

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A few friends are coming over to help us tonight. Here is our meditation area, in my house, on my living room floor. Stacks of blankets, pillows. Scattered are all of the feathers I have, gifts from bird friends, including the blue stellar jay feather, the dove, crow, raven, sandpiper, chicken, turkey, duck, and all my eagle friends. These feathers represent our connection to heaven, and all those who love us and help us there.

In the centre will sit this iPhone, symbolizing our connection to each other and every other human in earth.

Join us in love.

The Bob Marley – John Lennon Connection

So recently, Bob Marley’s been coming to visit me.  Wonderful soul, beautiful man, fabulous voice that ressonates on a lot of levels.

I asked him if he’d be cool with doing a group discussion with a few of the students from the intuitive development class, and he is, so, yay!  I’ll post about that when it happens.

This should be interesting.  As with John & Kurt (prior to our conversations) I basically know nothing about Bob Marley.  I hear one of his songs in my head now, but not the words, just the beat, the instruments, the notes of his voice.  He’s coming through quite strongly.

I was scrolling through the channelling erik archives, and lookee, she’s already done a Bob Marley interview.  Part of me resists reading it before I’ve built a relationship with Bob on my own, but the curious part of me already read the first two parts.  Oops.  🙂

In the very first post, Bob talks about the reincarnation of Jesus.  I shit you not.

In one of the first comments, a woman talks about John Lennon coming to her in a dream, to talk about how he continues to help people write music.

Something’s going on here, people.   There’s a Bob Marley connection.  Let’s find out more, shall we?

Soul Bubble Relations

I’ve had a few offline discussions about the John / Jesus connection.  This is the sort of thing you approach cautiously, because you don’t want to offend or frighten anyone by challenging their spiritual foundations, and you also don’t want to seem so utterly off your nut that people will completely write you off.

I didn’t post every detail in the Soul Bubbles entry because I wanted to let the ideas simmer and to meditate further, hopefully get some clarification.

When a friend emailed me and said that she believed John Lennon was Jesus in a past life, I thought, “Huh.  That’s not what he said.”  Not that this makes my friend wrong, not at all.  I’ll get to that.

In one of our first conversations with John, Sweetie remembers me asking him, “John, are you Jesus?”

He smiled and said, “No, my dear, but we are great friends.” 

For the record, I’d also asked the same question of Kurt.  He got this crooked smile, took a long drag off his cigarette, blew it out slowly for effect and replied, “No, but I’m a fan of his work.”

Which is one heck of a reply from Kurt Cobain.  Anyway, back to John.

This thing my friend had mentioned to me, it had this intuitive ring of truth.  I found myself drawn back to it, repeatedly.  One night, I asked John,

“John, is the Jesus incarnation part of your past life history?”

He laughs, a big bark of a laugh, flicks his nose and eyes me keenly.  “That, my dear, is the correct question!”

But he didn’t answer it.

That night George showed me the soul bubbles.  He showed me a bit more than I’d written about.  I asked George, “Show me Jesus.”

He showed me three bubbles, coming together.  This soul, made up of three linear-time, past-life histories, became the consciousness for the incarnation of Jesus.  George explained that for such a challenging life, three had to come together to give the soul’s history enough integrity through experience to withstand and perform the challenging teaching tasks as Jesus. 

Here’s the kicker.  After Jesus’ death, the soul bubble left his body and divided again.  Twelve bubbles emerged and embarked upon separate paths.  This makes sense to me; why should the experience of Jesus be confined to only one linear time path? 

Sheds a new perspective on the holy trinity, and the twelve disciples, eh?

So I have a working theory.  I haven’t received confirmation on this yet, so I don’t know if it’s precisely correct.  It may be one of those concepts that builds upon a foundation, and makes more sense later as more information comes though.  Sometimes, this information comes in stages, especially if it requires some adjustment before it can be integrated fully.

My work-in-progress theory is that John is a descendent of one of those twelve soul bubbles from Jesus.  It makes sense to me that if twelve consciousnesses (maybe more if there has been some more bubbling off of those twelve) are floating around with Jesus in their past-life roster, maybe they’re all taking turns being on “Jesus Duty” – answering prayers, giving hope and healing – while other bubbles continue to evolve, help and heal as new incarnations on our physical plain.

I also think that John & Kurt are related souls in some way, although I really have no idea how.  All I have on that is the two regarding each other with great love and respect, and I hear the word “Brothers.”  I don’t get a specific incarnation related to that statement.

It makes me wonder about other spiritual teachers and leaders.  How many soul bubbles are floating around out here, touching our lives, who can call upon the experience of Buddha? 

What about the Dalai Lama?  Every time he dies, a search is conducted for his reincarnation.  (Our current, 14th Dalai Lama suggests the next reincarnation will be female.)  How many soul bubbles emerge after each incarnation of the Dalai Lama?  How many merge before each reincarnation?

I’ll say that it does makes sense to me that world-famous musicians who have influenced millions spiritually over decades might have past lives as other spiritual leaders.  Certainly it makes sense they’d have past life histories as other famous musicians or artists.

It’s incredible.  The possibilities are truly limitless.

Code Orange Revolution

 

This has been a week of the Universe sending me lessons.  As I had the audacity to teach a class on psychic protection, the Universe decides to send me a few examples of situations where psychic protection was sorely needed. 

One situation happened the day before my last class.  I was doing a free pet readings thing at the yarn store, when this guy walks in and exclaims “Woah!  Look at all the great energy in here!”  He then announces it’s a powerful year for him numerologically, and his purpose is to walk around in the world changing people’s lives with his words.

He then proceeds to attempt to read everyone in the room without their consent.  He picked up on a lot of things in Sweetie’s aura, most of which were discussed recently in her past life lessons.  Strange Dude tells her this is all *future* stuff.  Then he says in three years she’ll meet a man. 

I admit, that irked me a bit.

While I was reading for the woman who brought a photo of her dog, Strange Dude starts talking over me, still pulling information from Sweetie’s aura.  I tap him on the leg and say, “You need to give me space to do these readings.”  He stops talking but then starts to attempt to read me.

Whenever I’ve been read without consent, I feel it as a prickly sensation.  Instantly I threw up a psychic brick wall between us and had no more trouble.  Everyone else in the room was on full psychic defense at this point too, so he did no more readings.

It was so weird.

That was a situation where psychic protection was obviously needed and everyone dug in quickly, except for Sweetie who didn’t feel the least bit threatened and found it all amusing.

Yesterday, a situation arose in which I should have used psychic protection and I forgot to practice the techniques.

We had a Code Orange training scenario yesterday.  Code Orange is the hospital’s name for “mass casualties / disaster”.  In our small facility out here in wonderland, our “Code Orange” kicks in when there are 20 casualties or more.  We are a nine bed hospital. 

Before we started the exercises, the admitting and management team performed a little song to set the mood.  Of course, of course, it was a Beatles song, modified for the situation.  Revolution. 

“You say it’s gonna be a disaster!  Well, you know.  We all have to save the town!”

My job during this training session was to familiarize staff with my job in case I am unable to get to the hospital during a disaster, and part of my job during a disaster would be Morgue Attendant. 

The Morgue Attendant is potentially bagging up a lot of bodies during a disaster.  Bodies of coworkers, friends, neighbours.  Children.

The horror on people’s faces when we practiced rolling a dummy into a body bag, checking the tags, dragging the body on the floor.   The shock at the understanding that there is not enough room in our morgue for the potential casualties, and so we will need to lay them on the floor, and possibly stack them like bricks.

The appalled expressions at the thought of wrapping children.  Infants.  People they know. 

I had to shock and horrify fifteen people yesterday.

It didn’t even occur to me to psychically protect myself.  I absorbed a lot of what people were feeling.

Sweetie has recently started working at the hospital too, and she attended these training sessions.  She’d been protecting herself all day.  She was fine.  By the end of the day, I was crying.

Heaven bless Humanity, the gallery and community gathering center above the organics food store.  We went there after work for some sustenance, and we ran into one of my clients.  He offered to give us a smudging.

I’ve only ever seen smudging used to clear rooms.  I’d never been part of a smudging ceremony before.

It was very casual and quick.  He burned white sage and sweetgrass, taken from his abalone bowl.  He used an eagle feather to wave the smoke into our auras.  It felt like breath of happiness.  I felt so much better.

I need to run another 15 people through the Code Orange training today.  I’ve learned my lesson – I’ll protect myself this time.

“We say it’s gonna be,  Alright!  Yeah it’s gonna be,  Alright, now!”

You see what you expect.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how John relates to other incarnated people, and how Kurt seemed to change a lot in how he related to me.

I think a lot of it has to do with how we relate to them, first.

I’ll be honest – when Kurt first came in, I thought he was kind of a pain in the ass.  I didn’t really know anything about him, and I expected him to behave a lot like how the pain-in-the-ass 15 year old boys behaved in middle school.  Sweetie has a knack of getting straight to the sweet, innocent inner boy with these types of people – one of her childhood friends is a huge drug addict who generally makes a colossal ass of himself in public, and his hobbies include a lot of life-threatening, thrill-seeking activities.  I can’t relate to this guy at all.

Yet, over the years, he never forgets Sweetie’s birthday.  He always sends her a message or a note, tells her he loves her.  And that’s endeared him to me.  At least, I understand their relationship a bit more.

So at first, I kind of saw Kurt as another one of Sweetie’s lost boys.  I had *no idea* who he really was.  When Sweetie first called Kurt in, I swear I saw him as an angel descending – wearing a white linen tunic thing (always with pants though!) with longish, blond, very clean wavy hair.  I asked “Who’s Kurt Cobain?”

“Oh, he was that guy in Nirvana.  You know, Smells Like Teen Spirit?”

And instantly my image of Kurt changed.  I thought he’d changed his presentation so I’d recognize him – he presented in a faded plain shirt, beat up combat boots, stringy, unwashed, dirty-blond hair.  Sadness, such sadness.  Ah yes, I remember this Kurt Cobain.  I remember when Nirvana was everywhere.

But now I’m rethinking this shift.  Perhaps Kurt just tuned into my expectation of him in that moment, showed me who I thought he was.  He reflected my image of him back at me.  He even comedically humped things around the house, like he was some crazed rocker on E, who couldn’t help but rub up against soft pillows, table legs, John’s head, whatever, in a stoned-out crazy way.  I just relayed his antics to Sweetie, chuckled / rolled my eyes and went about my day.

He called me “bitch” a lot.  In a playful way, but annoying nonetheless.  I finally asked him to stop, it was pissing me off so much (something Kurt can’t resist, really).  He and Sweetie were doing their own private work, so I figured he was there for Sweetie alone, and it made sense to me at the time.

And then one night, he stepped forward as my teacher during meditation.  In this state of meditation, I had set all of my personality, my expectations of myself and others aside.  I saw the angelic Kurt again.  I saw a gentle guy who loved people.  Who wanted to help.  Whose intentions were good and earnest.  And these meditative journeys into my soul’s past are changing my perspective on everything.  This is the most transformative period in my life.  So far.

With Kurt’s birthday present to me, I’ve become a Nirvana fan.  I’ll listen to the four albums we have back to back.  I find it relaxing, which is so odd, considering the intensity of the sound and lyrics. 

The only song Kurt discourages me from listening to is “Rape Me”, from the In Utero album.  Whenever it comes along in the playlist I’ll hear, “Skip this shit.  You don’t need it.”  Sometimes the track will skip on its own.  Thing is, I like that song now.  Yesterday, while driving to work, I got stubborn.  “I WANT to listen to it, damn it!”  In the first verse of the song, the adapter to the speaker fell out of the charger.  The music stopped.  “Don’t make me break your ipod.”    Big sigh.  “FINE.”  And I skipped the track again. 

That was actually a really impressive move, looking back on it.  It’s not easy to move things like that. 

Since we started our meditation together, Kurt has often called me “Babe” or sometimes “Angel” – just as he’s addressed Sweetie.  I started doing Kurt research and found out what a big feminist he was during his last life.  Kurt’s shown me a lot in my own soul’s history around rape-specific violence.   Last night, from the perspective of a man… understanding how this man (me in a past life) got to a point where he could see women only through eyes of possession and hate.  You have to see yourself with hate first.  This sort of violence turns back on the perpetrator, and it ripples ever outward.  Violence has saturated our culture.

This sort of learning is a very intimate experience, and I feel this super-close friendship-type relationship build between us.  He likes to call me “little sister” sometimes, in a way that feels like irony.  Whenever I’ve asked to see if there’s a past life connection between Kurt & I, I always see him as a young boy, and I hear “little brother” – so it’s like the younger brother calling his big sister “little sister” because here he is, taking care of me where once, I looked after him.

I remember a Courtney Love quote, on how needy Kurt could be:  That guy can’t catch a cab by himself! 

John too has talked about how high maintenance he could be in relationships.  When Yoko kicked him out, he said she was right to do so.

When we tapped into John and later with Kurt, both spirits powerfully communicated the emotions they experienced in their life, and deep empathy for those they left behind after death.  The emotion around John’s death was so strongly one of injustice, of a sense of wrong, I thought that perhaps John had died when he wasn’t meant to go.  Now I understand this as John sharing his overwhelming empathetic experience with the emotion created in response to his death.  He expressed terrible, torturous sadness at being separated, no ripped, from his family.

Kurt has also shared with touching intensity, the feelings of a young boy’s abandonment by his family, how he made a choice to strike out on his own (couch surfing, living the friends’ families) rather than submit to the foster system.  Being “in the system” terrified him.  “If my family, people who were supposed to love me, could treat me like that, what would strangers do to me?”  He also said, with heartbroken vulnerability, “Mothers are supposed to look after their kids.”

So why were our first conversations with Kurt & John so fraught with flawed human emotion?  Aren’t they spirits now?  Should they be above this, or over it?  (Huh, heaven is “above” – I wonder if that’s where this expression originated?)  Yet it seemed, in those moments of communication, that the pain was still real and present.

I asked Kurt about this the other day.  He says, “Well when you relate to us as tragic heros, that’s what we become to you.  When I relate to you as Kurt the kid, all that experience is still there for me to draw on, like, you just tap into it with the conversation.  It’s the best way to communicate, sometimes.”

I understood that it’s not like Kurt or John are *still* hurting right now.  They have this as part of their soul’s experience.  We all have past hurts we can tap into.  I was reminded that John & Kurt have also been many other people.  When I talk to Kurt, Kurt is there.  When I talk to John as John, there he is.  Occasionally, he’ll show up as figures from his other lives as well – and when this happens, I sometimes forget that there’s any connection between the two characters at all.

It reminds me of my Sea Urchin Lesson, which I’ve been returning to almost daily:

How fragmented our perspective, how fractal-like our bodies and our soul-journeys can be.  How easily a new consciousness breaks away from a single mind.  How joyous the return to the whole.

When you look at a sea urchin, what do you see?  A soulless plant?  A single animal?  A collection of many, linked Borg-like minds?  A soul collective? 

When you look at John Lennon, who do you see?