John: Art and a Good End for the New Year!

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My Wonderful Blog Friends – Here’s to a good end for 2016, and to hope, energy, and unity in 2017!

 

Hi John!

 

Happy new year, darling!  We appreciate that some years deserve the bum!

 

(“deserve the bum” has a few dirty meanings)

 

I know it’s been a rough year for so many.  What would you like to say about it?

 

You must never give up hope.  We’re going through the cycle again – (shows me the current culture is reviving a lot of the sentiment and ideals from mid 1950s, which was a time most people considered modern and progressive.)  Yet it’s so backwards, people see what they want to see.  They don’t see others or themselves for how they are, they see what they idealize.  That’s wonderful, in many ways.  Dreaming is important. 

 

Action is just as important. 

 

Not more important than dreaming?

 

Without dreams, how can you imagine all possible action?  Art is important.  Thought is important.  This is why we thought LSD was such a revolution at the time – it created thoughts and “expanded the mind” in ways that would never have been possible.  We didn’t have the internet, you’ll remember.  (He’s teasing.)  We (back in the 70s) believed in the magic of imagination.  If you could dream it, you could create it – if your thoughts were limited by everything you’d been taught and seen in your lifetime, your dreams would be limited.  It was sad, at times; alarming as well. 

 

We believed – foolishly – that if everyone could just experience the psychological and imaginative power of LSD, it would free the mind, free the imagination, to never-before-dreamed-of possibilities!  It’s was part of the revolution.

 

Of course, it didn’t work like that!

 

Yeah, I can appreciate the line of thinking through.  We still see that.  Imagine, visualize the life you want, the world you want, and you can create it.

 

Well, you’re one step closer to creating it.  (Shows me shoveling dirt from a trench.) 

 

What do you mean?

 

It’s like excavating new channels for the mind.  Creating new shapes for the thoughts to flow!  Canals for the imagination!  (Big grin.)

 

Digging holes in the brain?  Are we talking about LSD again?

 

(laughs, takes a deep drag on a cigarette he suddenly has, and I smell the sharp smoke.  Now John has solidified in my mind, he’s lazing back on a chaise lounge, it’s white, with a battered, worn feeling, but perfectly clean.  It’s in a loft apartment with wide industrial windows nearly to the ceiling.  It’s a large room but feels intimate.  There’s a plush red patterned carpet under the chase longue, and I worried for a moment about the ash burning it as John ashes into a ridiculously massive crystal ash tray on the floor.  The room is somehow opulent and sparse; stark and cozy at the same time.)

 

No, love, we aren’t talking of LSD at the moment.  I thought we were talking of imagination!  Imagining things is hard work – don’t underestimate it.  There is heavy lifting in the excavation of the mind!  Just ask any artist!

 

(Thinking of Sweetie) I know.  What do you think the role of artists is right now?  In the year 2017, in the context of the future’s history?  Can you see that?

 

(Laughs and takes another drag.)  That’s quite a creative question!  (He gives me a rhyme / limerick that I don’t quite get – something like “… all the fun, an artist’s work is never done!”)  Art will always serve the same purpose – art never dies, it never disappears, though it may have to go underground.  You can’t stop it, can’t eliminate it – which is why art is so useful in protesting the established regimen!  (significant look.)  Remember I was alive during Nixon. 

 

Apparently I need to do more research about Nixon.  I don’t know too much about him, I haven’t been that interested.

 

Well let’s put it this way, darling.  It would behoove all of you to become VERY interested in former President Nixon.  He’s playing all the tricks from the same hat.  (President Trump’s leadership will mirror Nixon’s in many ways.)

 

(John stands up on a podium, as though speaking over the heads of a large crowd, points his finger directly up in the air and projects his words:) An educated mind is not easily led!

 

Oh!  And art can be used to educate others, obviously.

 

It’s just communication, another form of speaking to your fellow human.  Art is a way of whispering to people who don’t wish to listen.  Who would rather deny.  If you can’t get them through the ears, get them through the eyes, or the heart!  Most people have a heart.  Most people! 

 

Is art – (before I even finish typing the question he breaks in with a very forceful statement-)

 

YES art is the ESSENTIAL form of resistance.  It’s the IDEAL form of resistance!  What are concerts without songs?  What are marches without signs?  What is a movement without art?  Just a bunch of people, milling about like cattle!  (He laughs kindly.)  The best / most exciting thing about art is that *everyone* can participate.  Must participate.  SHOULD participate!  With love, remember.  With Hope.

 

And Happy New Year, darling Kate.  (He’s giving me a flirty little eye twinkle.)

 

Thank you for popping in John.  Happy New Year to you.  And Happy New Year to all my beautiful blog friends!

 

 

 

 

 

Look what we found!

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When Sweetie was 13, she had her first conversations with John Lennon. She kept journals at the time , but burned them in a fit of “holy shit I must be crazy.”

While she visited her folks last month, she found a few surviving drawings from that time.

I like them.

Celebrity Friday: John’s Parallel Realities

 

John says, At some point, you just make the decision to make money. 

(John’s pointing to a recent conversation Sweetie & I have had about “branding” – how it’s at work in the women’s business world, how business coaches and brand experts are having this massive impact on social media, and the tangible, though not always positive, effect it has on our sense of a person’s authenticity as a professional marketer, real estate agent, psychotherapist etc.)

(John indicates agreement with the branding system, which surprises me.)

John says, do you think I *liked* those queer haircuts?  That was Brian’s idea.  He created our brand.  He was a genius.  (Shows me a quick flash of many other “boy bands” which have followed) We were truly the first.  (Show’s me Buddy Holiday and his band) They weren’t *quite* there.  It was Brian – he understood young girls, he said “If you get the girls to fall in love with you, the boys will try to BE you.”

I never believed that boys would go for such queer haircuts as the (monstrosities?) Brian gave to us – I had tried to (create our brand) with leather clothing – cool jackets, I wanted us to get motorcycles.  I didn’t want to give a damn what grandmothers thought of us.  We weren’t playing for the grandmothers, right?  We were playing for us.  I said that.

And Brian said, “Exactly.  So shut the fuck up and stop wasting your time.”

So what did you do?

I shut the fuck up and let him cut my hair.  We went (on a TV show) looking like that, I was pissed off (mortified.)  Boys feel JUST as bad as girls if they get a wanker hair cut!  (makes spastic arm gestures)

But then Brian booked us a show that (shows me a football stadium.)  It was the biggest show we’d every played.  It was unbelievable.  (Shows himself standing on the stage, looking up at the crowd.)  I realized, it was just a fucking haircut.  THIS is what I wanted. 

John was your hair even that long at first?  I thought you had it pretty short, spikey?

Yes, he flattened it all out.  Search for 1963, find the photo.

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That FUCKING tie.  I had a fag ‘cause I looked like one.  It’s true. 

(We have a brief back and forth about this choice of words.) Ask anyone who was there.  That’s what I said.

(Yeah, I’ll get right on that, John.  That would be a fun conversation with Paul McCartney’s call screener.)

It fucking *worked*.  You could say it was the music, just the songs and the words – it wasn’t.  It was about creating our first album, (shows me a present, gift-wrapped) a package people could buy.  We could sell-out pubs our whole lives and die poor alcoholics.  We couldn’t just make a fucking mix tape (demo tape) and mail it to the radio station.  (HA!  He’s teasing Kurt Cobain with that one.)  Na.  We made the decision, we went *after* it, and it was all Brian.  He’s the genius.  We never would have been anything without him.

This surprises me, because I thought, well, when something’s meant to happen, it does, you know?

NO.  NO.  There is so much more that happens than is meant to happen.  What is “meant” to happen is what you WANTED with your life.  I should have lived longer, that’s what I wanted.  Everyone (knew / felt) that. 

Hey, is there a parallel reality where you’re still incarnated?

(Shows me himself in an old man beard – he looks like Leonardo da Vinci)  I’ve been an old man enough times.  It’s horrible.  No, I doubt I would have chosen to live to the age of arthritis in any parallel reality.

Don’t you know?  Isn’t there a higher perspective you gain, being on the other side and all?

Yes.  But.  The aspect of me speaking to you is engaged in THIS reality.  I have a heavy identity, an heavy investment in THIS reality as THIS version of John.  It gets very confusing for everyone if I were to integrate completely (shows what looks like an upside-down tree, and as you travel “up” the tree, the various timelines / identities join together.  There is a point where the lines completely join into a trunk, but they branch out a bit again at the top, like a root ball, but it’s not nearly as complex as the branches at the bottom.)

If I were to talk to you, and all the thousands of others I talk to, if I were a completely, fully integrated being, how would you know it was me?  If I weren’t peeking into your bedroom making dirty jokes, would you love me as much?  (wink!)

Wow, I thought that there was this big reveal at some point after you die, like you remember all the things about yourself that you don’t remember when you’re incarnated.

You do, so much as you WANT to.  I rather like being John.  I don’t have to be John, I can be a cartoon character if I liked, but being John is *useful* so I *want* to present as this collection of experiences and ideas.  People (other beings) engage with me this way, that’s my purpose, and it feel wonderful to live your purpose.

You don’t stop living, just because you die, you know.  Sometimes death can be an inconvenience, but it doesn’t have to stop you being you. 

But you can integrate and be John + John’s past lives + all John’s parallel realities if you want?

Past and future, yes.  It would also be like blinking out of existence.

So your personality, and I guess everyone’s personality, is defined by our separateness from the parallel realities.  We’re individuals because there’s separation.  I feel like smacking my forehead here.  It’s a crazy-simple explanation to this complex idea of “what is consciousness?” or “who am I?” 

And that really explains how we can be “part of everything” too.  Because once all those parallel realities integrate, we’re complete, whole beings, and we’re also undifferentiated from each other – even in separation.  We literally all become one at that level, because all our “lines” eventually meet up into a giant tree trunk. 

Isn’t it wonderful?  (smile)

Yes, and it’s also kind of obliterating. 

We should start a religion.  Call it Unified Nihilism.  No one could kill each other over it, because there’s nothing to fight for.  (eye twinkle) 

Cue “Imagine”. 

Yeah, I was really depressed when I wrote that song.  I always felt a little sad when I played it. 

Really?  (He gives me the feeling, and describes it as the feeling you get when you watch your child leave home for college.  You love them, you’re proud of them, you know they’ll be alright, but you’re deeply sad to see them go.)

I felt like that when I played it.  I loved that people loved it.  But it always pulled at my heart to play it.

Awww.  Here’s the video.

You children and your technology. 

Oh, and you really need to buy a new bed! 

Thanks John!  Love you.

Imagine Peace

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Grainy photo of Candis, posted with her permission, from last night’s meditation. There’s Sunshine the cat, helping us out.

Jacqueline pointed out to me that today is the anniversary of John’s death.

Maybe that’s why George was so strong about this meditation last night. It came through with this strong urgency. I called out to my meditation buddies, Aaron, Candice and Hernan, literally sending out this psychic broadcast “Meet me at 300” (none of them have cell phones or Internet, but we always manage to find each other.)

There they were, when I set out to find them. All three of them together at the laundromat. It looked like a big coincidence of course, they had no idea why they ended up there at the right time. When I asked, could they come to this meditation tonight, they immediately replied, of course they would.

It was funny, the whole thing had this Meditation Emergency!!!! sense about it.

I basically just read them the entry, and we fell into silence. Oh! And I had made this production of putting this mantra song on repeat – the mantra, Om Sri Rama Jaya Rama Jaya Jaya Rama – it had to be that mantra for some reason. During the meditation, George said that was his first mantra. It was Sweetie’s first mantra too, and it was Ghandi’s first mantra.

It means victory to God, where god is the higher power and also our own higher self. It’s a prayer to reach our highest and purest potential.

During the meditation, the five of us reached out with our hearts, and experienced Heaven “backfilling” the energy, so that we were the conduit, the connection, the wiring by which the love of heaven may reach those in need.

We did this with the intention of founding an energy net that will one day connect every person on earth in love and peace.

Today, Jacqueline reminds me it’s the anniversary of John’s death, and my iPhone played “imagine” all by itself.

I don’t even have any of his music on my phone.

As I listened to the song, I understood a different level of meaning, in the context of all of humanity connected by the love flowing to each other from our hearts, love in unlimited supply, fueled from heaven.

9pm Dec 7 2012, Join us here in spirit

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A few friends are coming over to help us tonight. Here is our meditation area, in my house, on my living room floor. Stacks of blankets, pillows. Scattered are all of the feathers I have, gifts from bird friends, including the blue stellar jay feather, the dove, crow, raven, sandpiper, chicken, turkey, duck, and all my eagle friends. These feathers represent our connection to heaven, and all those who love us and help us there.

In the centre will sit this iPhone, symbolizing our connection to each other and every other human in earth.

Join us in love.

The Bob Marley – John Lennon Connection

So recently, Bob Marley’s been coming to visit me.  Wonderful soul, beautiful man, fabulous voice that ressonates on a lot of levels.

I asked him if he’d be cool with doing a group discussion with a few of the students from the intuitive development class, and he is, so, yay!  I’ll post about that when it happens.

This should be interesting.  As with John & Kurt (prior to our conversations) I basically know nothing about Bob Marley.  I hear one of his songs in my head now, but not the words, just the beat, the instruments, the notes of his voice.  He’s coming through quite strongly.

I was scrolling through the channelling erik archives, and lookee, she’s already done a Bob Marley interview.  Part of me resists reading it before I’ve built a relationship with Bob on my own, but the curious part of me already read the first two parts.  Oops.  🙂

In the very first post, Bob talks about the reincarnation of Jesus.  I shit you not.

In one of the first comments, a woman talks about John Lennon coming to her in a dream, to talk about how he continues to help people write music.

Something’s going on here, people.   There’s a Bob Marley connection.  Let’s find out more, shall we?

You see what you expect.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how John relates to other incarnated people, and how Kurt seemed to change a lot in how he related to me.

I think a lot of it has to do with how we relate to them, first.

I’ll be honest – when Kurt first came in, I thought he was kind of a pain in the ass.  I didn’t really know anything about him, and I expected him to behave a lot like how the pain-in-the-ass 15 year old boys behaved in middle school.  Sweetie has a knack of getting straight to the sweet, innocent inner boy with these types of people – one of her childhood friends is a huge drug addict who generally makes a colossal ass of himself in public, and his hobbies include a lot of life-threatening, thrill-seeking activities.  I can’t relate to this guy at all.

Yet, over the years, he never forgets Sweetie’s birthday.  He always sends her a message or a note, tells her he loves her.  And that’s endeared him to me.  At least, I understand their relationship a bit more.

So at first, I kind of saw Kurt as another one of Sweetie’s lost boys.  I had *no idea* who he really was.  When Sweetie first called Kurt in, I swear I saw him as an angel descending – wearing a white linen tunic thing (always with pants though!) with longish, blond, very clean wavy hair.  I asked “Who’s Kurt Cobain?”

“Oh, he was that guy in Nirvana.  You know, Smells Like Teen Spirit?”

And instantly my image of Kurt changed.  I thought he’d changed his presentation so I’d recognize him – he presented in a faded plain shirt, beat up combat boots, stringy, unwashed, dirty-blond hair.  Sadness, such sadness.  Ah yes, I remember this Kurt Cobain.  I remember when Nirvana was everywhere.

But now I’m rethinking this shift.  Perhaps Kurt just tuned into my expectation of him in that moment, showed me who I thought he was.  He reflected my image of him back at me.  He even comedically humped things around the house, like he was some crazed rocker on E, who couldn’t help but rub up against soft pillows, table legs, John’s head, whatever, in a stoned-out crazy way.  I just relayed his antics to Sweetie, chuckled / rolled my eyes and went about my day.

He called me “bitch” a lot.  In a playful way, but annoying nonetheless.  I finally asked him to stop, it was pissing me off so much (something Kurt can’t resist, really).  He and Sweetie were doing their own private work, so I figured he was there for Sweetie alone, and it made sense to me at the time.

And then one night, he stepped forward as my teacher during meditation.  In this state of meditation, I had set all of my personality, my expectations of myself and others aside.  I saw the angelic Kurt again.  I saw a gentle guy who loved people.  Who wanted to help.  Whose intentions were good and earnest.  And these meditative journeys into my soul’s past are changing my perspective on everything.  This is the most transformative period in my life.  So far.

With Kurt’s birthday present to me, I’ve become a Nirvana fan.  I’ll listen to the four albums we have back to back.  I find it relaxing, which is so odd, considering the intensity of the sound and lyrics. 

The only song Kurt discourages me from listening to is “Rape Me”, from the In Utero album.  Whenever it comes along in the playlist I’ll hear, “Skip this shit.  You don’t need it.”  Sometimes the track will skip on its own.  Thing is, I like that song now.  Yesterday, while driving to work, I got stubborn.  “I WANT to listen to it, damn it!”  In the first verse of the song, the adapter to the speaker fell out of the charger.  The music stopped.  “Don’t make me break your ipod.”    Big sigh.  “FINE.”  And I skipped the track again. 

That was actually a really impressive move, looking back on it.  It’s not easy to move things like that. 

Since we started our meditation together, Kurt has often called me “Babe” or sometimes “Angel” – just as he’s addressed Sweetie.  I started doing Kurt research and found out what a big feminist he was during his last life.  Kurt’s shown me a lot in my own soul’s history around rape-specific violence.   Last night, from the perspective of a man… understanding how this man (me in a past life) got to a point where he could see women only through eyes of possession and hate.  You have to see yourself with hate first.  This sort of violence turns back on the perpetrator, and it ripples ever outward.  Violence has saturated our culture.

This sort of learning is a very intimate experience, and I feel this super-close friendship-type relationship build between us.  He likes to call me “little sister” sometimes, in a way that feels like irony.  Whenever I’ve asked to see if there’s a past life connection between Kurt & I, I always see him as a young boy, and I hear “little brother” – so it’s like the younger brother calling his big sister “little sister” because here he is, taking care of me where once, I looked after him.

I remember a Courtney Love quote, on how needy Kurt could be:  That guy can’t catch a cab by himself! 

John too has talked about how high maintenance he could be in relationships.  When Yoko kicked him out, he said she was right to do so.

When we tapped into John and later with Kurt, both spirits powerfully communicated the emotions they experienced in their life, and deep empathy for those they left behind after death.  The emotion around John’s death was so strongly one of injustice, of a sense of wrong, I thought that perhaps John had died when he wasn’t meant to go.  Now I understand this as John sharing his overwhelming empathetic experience with the emotion created in response to his death.  He expressed terrible, torturous sadness at being separated, no ripped, from his family.

Kurt has also shared with touching intensity, the feelings of a young boy’s abandonment by his family, how he made a choice to strike out on his own (couch surfing, living the friends’ families) rather than submit to the foster system.  Being “in the system” terrified him.  “If my family, people who were supposed to love me, could treat me like that, what would strangers do to me?”  He also said, with heartbroken vulnerability, “Mothers are supposed to look after their kids.”

So why were our first conversations with Kurt & John so fraught with flawed human emotion?  Aren’t they spirits now?  Should they be above this, or over it?  (Huh, heaven is “above” – I wonder if that’s where this expression originated?)  Yet it seemed, in those moments of communication, that the pain was still real and present.

I asked Kurt about this the other day.  He says, “Well when you relate to us as tragic heros, that’s what we become to you.  When I relate to you as Kurt the kid, all that experience is still there for me to draw on, like, you just tap into it with the conversation.  It’s the best way to communicate, sometimes.”

I understood that it’s not like Kurt or John are *still* hurting right now.  They have this as part of their soul’s experience.  We all have past hurts we can tap into.  I was reminded that John & Kurt have also been many other people.  When I talk to Kurt, Kurt is there.  When I talk to John as John, there he is.  Occasionally, he’ll show up as figures from his other lives as well – and when this happens, I sometimes forget that there’s any connection between the two characters at all.

It reminds me of my Sea Urchin Lesson, which I’ve been returning to almost daily:

How fragmented our perspective, how fractal-like our bodies and our soul-journeys can be.  How easily a new consciousness breaks away from a single mind.  How joyous the return to the whole.

When you look at a sea urchin, what do you see?  A soulless plant?  A single animal?  A collection of many, linked Borg-like minds?  A soul collective? 

When you look at John Lennon, who do you see?

John, George & Kurt on Addiction

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I try to keep the blog balanced between heavy stuff and happy stuff.  We’re a bit heavy on heavy stuff this week, please bear with us.

Sweetie & I had an intense conversation with George & Kurt yesterday on heroin addiction.  Once, when Sweetie had been listing off her grievances with regard to our stressful and failing business, George had quipped, “Well, you could just take up heroin.  That way you’d have one large problem instead of an assortment of small ones.”

We watched a few youtube videos about Kurt; you wouldn’t believe the string of heinous comments on some of those posts.  One comment that stuck in my mind was “He was a junkie and he killed himself, big surprise.”  I felt this huge wave of protest coming from Kurt as I read that comment.

It’s pretty well impossible to get through large-scale rock & roll success without getting into some sort of self-abuse.  The only thing that kept John from mainlining heroin was his near-crippling fear of needles.  He shared this with me when visited me at the hospital once (my work) as I tossed a syringe and needle into the sharps bucket.  I felt a physical shudder from him at the sight of the bloody sharp.

George, sadly, didn’t have any such fear to keep him from mainlining, and with heroin you’re pretty much addicted from the first hit.  George checked into rehab and detoxed.  He meditated a LOT.  Fortunately for George, he had built up a lot of spiritual strength before he had to battle addiction.

Kurt had neither advantage.  He, like George, was hooked from the first hit.  He took H in a desperate attempt to find relief from chronic gut pain and anxiety (screaming his lungs out on stage helped a bit, but not enough.)  Unlike George, Kurt had no spiritual education, no faith, and therefore no help.  He repeatedly tried to seek medical help to get off of heroin, but the doctors he went to patronized him, told him he’d be in constant pain during the detox period, told him he’d be battling urges to shoot up for a decade to come.  Well who the hell would sign up for that?  So he’d leave the belittling, dominating asshole doctor behind and return to his addiction, but feel all the more worthless.

As Kurt told us this story, I felt George’s anger.  This is the first time I’ve felt anything but Zen comin’ from George.  George shook his head in sadness and disgust, because Kurt had been denied the correct information intentionally.  Had Kurt found any doctor with a scrap of morals, or called a few rehab centers himself, he would have learned that methadone would prevent him from experiencing the worst of the detox effects.  And since he was a rock star and could afford all the medical world had to offer, Kurt even could have been kept sedated through the worst of the detox if he became too uncomfortable.  He could have gone somewhere secluded, dropped out of the rock scene entirely.  No one told him this.

Instead, I see stacks of money and a flash of a doctor telling Kurt the horrors of heroin detox.  Doctors who wanted this rich rock-star’s business for years to come.  You don’t offer a quick cure to someone who can afford a long one.  Kurt felt trapped, in so many ways.

I guess, every junkie feels trapped.  The word “junkie” doesn’t do justice to the humanity of the person suffering.

Meanwhile, Heaven opens another door…

On Saturday, while Sweetie & I went into town to do some shopping, a police volunteer came in with a flier of a missing girl.  The cashier announced the flier was posted at the register and could all customers please come take a look.

I’ve never tried to use my psychic abilities to find a missing person.  I asked George, “Should I try to help?”  The answer came roaring back “OF COURSE YOU SHOULD HELP!  Why do you think this flier arrived while you were here?”

Now, it’s one thing to be psychic and read for your friends and family.  It’s a step up to hang a shingle and hire your services out.  It’s another step again to teach.  I’ve taken all of these steps pretty quickly and I’ve been welcomed and supported, thank goodness.  But to out-of-the-blue contact a worried mother about her missing child?  There is a huge amount of responsibility there to do no harm.

Yet I trust my spirit friends.  Everything I’ve experienced told me it would be fine.  I went to far as to take down the mother’s information and I did a meditation to see what I could get…  I got quite a bit.  I wanted to pick up the phone and call, but I just. Couldn’t. do it.
Today I was thinking about it and I said to Kurt, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this missing persons stuff.”  I am the sort of person that when someone asks for help, I want to be able to give it to them.  But this situation had me doubting myself again.   What if I was wrong?  What if I told this poor woman that her daughter was fine, and maybe she turned up dead later?

Yet, I knew this was one door Heaven had opened for me, and I had promised to do the work.  I was so conflicted.

I felt Kurt’s reassurance.  “It’s alright.  Go look at the news.”
So I pulled up the latest newspaper article and lo, the girl had been found.  The brief details given in the article concurred with the information I’d gotten.  If I had called, everything would have been alright.  But, it was just fine that I hadn’t called too, because that was meant to be educational.  To show me I can do it.

“We’ll never ask you to do something you can’t accomplish,” says John with a smile.

Well, that’s comforting.

EDIT:  May 10, 2012

Further to this entry, please also read: https://psychicintraining.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/kurt-cobain-the-suicide-entry-revised/

It talks in more detail about Kurt’s repeated attempts at rehab, which were more numerous than he’d intitially implied.  He used all sorts of medication prescribed by various doctors, some ethically, some inethically, and he obtained many tranquilizers illegally to supplement his treatment.  It was a much longer battle than he talks about here, and from the outside looking in, it really seems like everyone around him did everything they possibly could to help.

After listening to the biography, “Heavier than Heaven,” I felt like the version Kurt gave me of his battle with addiction was dishonest.  Rather than dishonest, really, it was simply incomplete.  It’s the story told from his perspective at the time, when he was incapable of seeing what everyone else was doing for him, or the impact he had on those around him.  You ask any addict to tell their story, they’ll usually blunt the edges.  It’s excrutiating to face the pain you have caused.

I have to give Kurt props for talking to me about addiction at all.  Neither George nor John has gone into detail, and I sense this “do not trespass” on the topic.  But maybe that’ll change in time.  We’ll see.

All Kurt could perceive was his own suffering; even when he acknowledged the impact he had on Courtney and would potentially have on Frannie, he used his guilt as self-flagulation to further amplify his own suffering.

Maybe we’ll have a more detailed conversation to clarify a few more points.

John Lennon Friday: The Next Step

So I have recently gotten my paws upon Lynn Grabhorn’s book “Planet Two.”  I found it in the spirituality section of a hugely magnificent second-hand bookstore, right next to Machaelle Small Wright’s “Behaving as if the God in all things mattered” – which is a book that’s been on my list for a long time.  It’s often referred to in the “first generation” of animal communication books written by Sonya Fitzpatrick and Penelope Smith.

Well right off, Lynn starts to talk a lot about Machaelle, which tickled me that I bought both books together.  Actually, I heard John’s little whisper “Oh, get those two, they’re good.”

There’s a gentle, cosmic good humour in that John Lennon himself is mentioned more than any other person in Planet Two (except Machaelle, perhaps.)  It’s so funny that John guides me to what I’m calling “his books”.  Not only is John mentioned particularly, but the first mention is Lynn talking about the book that John wrote himself via medium Jason Leen “Peace At Last”.

Notice how close in name they are?  Jason Leen and Linda Keen?  Huh.

“Peace at Last” is a book I haven’t read yet, but Lynn uses it as a perfect example of death experience, how John describes his death in that book. 

Later in “Planet Two” Lynn starts talking about things that John has brought up to us directly, and really, Kurt has shown us as well.  Lynn talks about three “earths” existing in the same space (more or less) on different frequencies.  Well that’s another way of explaining what Kurt showed us in the angel training entry:  three beads on a string, now turn the string and see how three beads overlap and look like one.

It actually occurs to me that this “angel training” as I’ve been calling it, could also be another way describing this energetic ascension people are talking about so much in these 2012 days.

John has also talked about the “White Brotherhood”, which he is either in or working with very closely.  We asked about whether there was a sisterhood and he said, “Of course!” and shared a lot of details about that, which, I can’t remember because I was in “medium mode”.  Thank goodness for sweetie, here’s her recollection:

Well, that the White Sisterhood is a parallel to the White Brotherhood (apparently the girls can get boisterous, like at the Women’s Temple 😉 )

Emily and Meret Oppenheim I *think* are in it, and Benazir Bhutto.  There was a woman with a viking helmet (maybe a Norse goddess?) and a fighter pilot who may or may not have been Amelia Earhart.  They’re my council, essentially.  The women’s council.  They’re basically one and the same.

From the daytrippin’ website’s description of John’s “Peace at Last”: 

After explaining the seven different heavenly realms, she explains that since John was such a powerful spokesman for the world, he is being asked to continue his work with humanity. She assures him that the world will listen. He learns that the earth is about to awaken, but that first, humanity must awaken and arise. He will be one of the spirit beings to interact with people on earth to get this message across.

Which is basically the message in Planet Two, and basically the message we’ve been getting from John from my first conversation with him in November 2011.  (And BY THE WAY!  I just noticed the “7 different levels of heavenly realms” again – which would be the third psychic who’s heard from John that there are 7 levels to heaven.)

I’ll tell you some of the strangeness that’s settled into my heart as truth:  I believe I’ve been tapped to help people with the transition that’s happening.  This transition definitely involved raising our vibrations, and a part of this is becoming more psychic.  Everyone.  And in order for people to become more psychic, more comfortable with psychicness, to be healthy and psychic in this world as we all struggle with “ascension” (raising our vibes, evolving, remembering who we are etc.) we need teachers.  Me.  I’m one of them.

Since I started talking to John, George and Kurt, I’ve put my complete trust in them, and they have not and will never lead me wrong.  Aside from these friends, I have my own spirit guides and relatives, who are all milling about in the background, but I don’t seem to converse with them as much as I do John, George & Kurt.  They got me to the concert at the Humanity gallery, thanks to which I made the contacts I needed in order to work in that space.  Last weekend was the second “psychic Saturday” where I give free readings to those who need it.  Every. Single. Person. Who showed up on Saturday.  Is struggling with psychic awakening.  Every. Single. One. 

All of them cried when I told them they’re already psychic.  Already doing it.  There are things they can learn which will make it easier and better. 

Most of them carry with them burdens from past life trauma, and burdens from childhood which put them in conflict with their psychic abilities and experiences right now.

Just in time, I’m launching my first class, “Reconnecting with your Intuition”.  Every time I reach out my hand, asking for help with this mission Heaven is offering to me, every. Single. Time. The person I’ve reached out to has taken my hand in friendship.

Dear, dear Linda Keen has offered her full support and blessing for me to teach the lessons in her books, Intuition Magic and the soon to be published sequel, Intuition Magic: 25 Years Later. (Linda, I hope I’m not spilling the beans on that one.)  If you’re in self-study mode, you can get her books from amazon.com.

I tell you, the first email reply I received from Linda jerked the tears straight out of my eyes, and I had no idea why.  It’s just one of those physiological, gut-wrenching reactions you have when your body is telling you something is true, correct, right. 

The story of how and why I contacted Linda is pretty neat:  I didn’t contact her over the “john thing”.  I figured she must have had hundreds of people contact her since the book was published to say that they’d been talking to john too, and that most of them would be crazy.  I don’t know why I went there, but that’s what was going through my mind at the time.

I contacted Linda because *I* had been contacted by a spirit visitor, an older, classy, dignified lady with a warm heart.  I thought her name was “Madeline” but I have a difficult time hearing these things correctly, so it could have been something close to how that would sound if heard over a muffled microphone, or shouted over a great distance. 

Anyway, Madeline shows up in my living room one night, and I’m very tired, so I ask her to please go away and come back tomorrow if she would like to talk with me.  She showed up again, very politely, and waited until we had finished with talking to John before I could greet her.

Madeline explained that she’d come for help because she used to be able to talk to her grandchildren (picture of grandkids pointing up at grandma and playing with her ethereal presence.)  But now her grandchildren are older and no longer see her.  (Sad feelings shared.)  They need the psychic school I’ve been thinking about.  I should contact “the woman who wrote John’s book”.  So I promised I would, and I sent Linda Keen an email out of the blue.

That was probably one of the stranger emails I’ve sent in my lifetime.  It basically went, “Hi, you don’t know me but a spirit named Madeline said I should contact you about a psychic school.”  It turns out that Linda had developed her own psychic skills by attending a school in Oregon (did I get that right?) in the 60s.  She then moved to the Netherlands where she and her husband established a school for intuitive development that is still running today.

I had NO IDEA Linda had written any books other than Across The Universe / John Lennon in Heaven. 

So yeah, Linda knows how to teach what I’m teaching, and she’s been doing this for years.  She was the perfect person to contact about all of this.  It did come up pretty quickly that my sweetie and I have been talking to John too, and we’re beginning to realize how much all of these strings are getting tied together, and how much is John is doing the actual tying!  I am so grateful for Linda and John’s help in all of this. 

In Linda, I feel like I have the experienced support I need in order to muster the audacity to teach psychic arts at the tender young age of 33.  I mean, come on.  Isn’t this the sort of thing you teach as a dusty, wrinkled, half-mad oracle who has one foot in heaven?   I’ve barely come out as psychic in the community and now I’m teaching?  But I swear, that’s the way Heaven wants it.  It’s pretty darn clear to me, and I feel so taken care of right now.

On June 12th, I’ll be a guest on Karen Hagar’s radio show, “Out of the Fog”.  I’ll be talking about animal communication among other things, and doing animal readings on the air.  We’re all hoping that this show will result in a few more paying clients for me, which will help in a multitude of ways. 

I initially contacted Karen Hagar before I’d received a reply from Linda.  I was casting around for a teacher, and I’d asked Karen if she’d be interested in allowing me to listen in on her classes in exchange for some animal communication?  She got me on the phone and told me she hadn’t been “guided” to teach me because I am beyond her scope of teaching.  (Holy crap.)  She then told me I’d be a great radio guest, based upon our conversation, and she invited me on the show!  She said that doing on-air readings could help with the cash flow shortages we’re experiencing right now.  I feel Karen’s warmth and positive attitude whenever I think of her.

Yesterday, John came to visit me at work.  He said “So love, are you ready to go to the next level of work?” 

“Uh, sure.  Yes.  What’s the next level?”

“Well you will soon be done with the hospital work.  You’ve done what you needed to do here.  A lovely job you did with those two, by the way.  (Two spirits I’d crossed over yesterday.)

“Soon you will be travelling a lot.  Are you ready for that?”

“Yes.  I need Heaven and you guys to take care of my finances though.  I need enough money to pay for our rent, our food.  I’ll need a better car soon, especially if I’m travelling more.  You take care of the money, I’ll do Heaven’s work.  I’m ready.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“You’re positive?”  He smiles, the warmest, loving smile.  At this point I see him clearly in a purple embroidered jacket, like a smoking jacket but snazzier.  It looks like it has long tails.  He has sort of 80s hair, a la David Bowie, dark, shortish, kind of spikey.  He’s wearing his round, rose-coloured glasses. 

“Yes.  Do it.  I’m ready.”

So off we go then.  I’m not sure exactly what it is that I’ve agreed to, but I trust John, I trust Heaven to take care of Sweetie, me and my animal family.

Mind Hole Friday with John Lennon and Special Guest, Alan Watts!

             

This week, my sweetie has started knitting a series of very odd, funny yet slightly disturbing scarves.  It all started when Sweetie discovered “Epic Meal Time” a “cooking show” series on You Tube that involves an obscene amount of meat, to which they do unspeakable things.  I watched a few episodes and I just couldn’t pick my jaw up off the floor.  Then I made a huge amount of popcorn, drenched it in butter and covered it in bacon bits, which is what you do after seeing things like the “meat farm” episode.

Sweetie is vegetarian herself, and has been ever since she saw the movie Babe while eating a ham and bacon pizza.  She was, in fact, vegan when we started to date, but I corrupted her with my copious consumption of ice cream. 

Bacon just isn’t on Sweetie’s list of things to eat, but since watching Epic Mealtime, she’s become rather meat inspired. 

She started by crocheting a Bacon Scarf.  She surrounded herself with photos of bacon, laid out all of the colours from her yarn stash you never realized existed in bacon until you looked at it closely.  Some of this yarn is shiny, which she uses to indicate gristle and fat.  The width of the scarf bulges and narrows, like a strip of bacon, and she’s somehow made it ripple, like a glistening piece of half-cooked meat.  She’s left it unblocked so that when you hang it around your neck, it curls just like cooked bacon.  I swear it makes my neck feel greasy.

But this bacon scarf is only the beginning.  She is now working on what she calls “the Knit Meat Series” which is all at once funny and horrifying.  Particularly because she’s vegetarian.  Judy Chicago would LOVE Kat’s work.

While Sweetie creates these darkly humourous domestic art pieces, she listens to mind-expanding podcasts and spiritual lectures.  The man of the week has been Alan Watts.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Watts

Sweetie Writes:

He was a British guy who spent a lot of time in Asia, then moved to California, and brought a lot of ideas about Buddhism and Hinduism to western audiences in the 60s and 70s.
In this lecture he’s talking about the nature of the universe in Judeo-Christianity.  He says that we take it for granted in the west that the universe is a monarchy, with a god at the top, and that we’re ruled and judged by this god like royal subjects.  We kneel and bow like we would to a king, and our churches are constructed like courtrooms, and we show up to be judged.
Really interesting stuff.  So I’m like, “I need to talk to this guy at some point”.

And there he was!  He’s like, “What is it you’d like to know?”

(Sweetie seems to have a knack at calling up almost anyone famous from Heaven.  John says it’s because in Heaven, she’s “famous.”  I wondered if he meant that ironically, but I’m beginning to suspect he’s being literal.  Sweetie’s email continues:)

I’ve been wondering about that idea of dimensional shifting.  Is it even possible?  What happens to our bodies?  Can we really move physical objects from one dimension to another?

So I ask, “Can we transcend matter?”

And he says, “Do you mean ‘we’?  Or, do you mean ‘I'”?

I was not sure.  I’ve been thinking about the idea of consensus a lot, is it necessary for everyone to be in agreement in order for anything to change, or not?  Is a critical mass necessary?  Or is that all illusory anyway — do we each create our own reality?  But then, isn’t our separateness an illusion, anyway?  What do I even *mean* by “I”?

So finally I said, “Well, ‘I’ or ‘we’, it’s really the same thing, isn’t it?”

And he says, “There!  You’ve just transcended matter!”

Which is absolutely true, and pretty funny.  But it didn’t really clear up my underlying question.    
Of course these Zen guys, they never just *give* you a straight answer, you know.

He hung around and continued to talk to me all morning.  I know what he said is technically right, but it seems too simple somehow.  I took the Bonus dog out for a walk and sort of let it sink in.  I had to wonder whether he didn’t understand my question, or whether I didn’t understand his answer.

As I walked, he started talking:

“You are always transcending.  It is your state of being.  Whatever ‘it’ is, you’re doing it right now, you just don’t recognize that you’re doing it.  It’s not an action, it’s a state of being.  It’s not something separate, outside of yourself.  That which you are, you are”.

Hmm.

So I’m thinking, “Okay.  So if everything is, and is eternal, then what are people talking about when they talk about liberation from the cycles of birth and death?”.

Alan says, “You are all things.  If you *know* that you are all things, why are you hung up on this one little part that is ‘you'”?

I’m like, “Because I only experience this part.  I don’t want to be trapped forever experiencing this one little part”.

He says, “You can escape that anytime”.

Hmm.

It’s interesting, this guy is coming through very clearly for me, and I’ve only very recently been exposed to his work.  I normally need to be in a liminal sleep state to get these kinds of lessons.

After reading this, I asked my Sweetie:

Allan says, “You can escape that anytime”.  How?  By understanding that it’s all about the “big picture”?  But, but but, what about life plans?  What about coming here to learn and all that stuff?

Are you able to opt out of your life plan at any time?  Are you able to simply halt the learning process, if you desire?  Is that what Eckhart Tolle did when he sat on a park bench blissed out for two years?  That’s all fine & dandy for a weekend, but what about when you run out of money and get hungry?

Why is it so damn difficult to integrate this concept?

It is a simple answer.  Simple, accessible, powerful.  So why am I having to do mind yoga to get my brain around it???

I sent this message off to Sweetie and then went to the grocery store.  At the grocery store and I hear “Let it be” playing, and the line that jumps out is ‘Whisper words of wisdom”

 

I laugh, and after “Let It Be” finishes, “Knocking on heaven’s door” comes on.

John has some follow up to our email conversation.  Here he goes:

About transcending matter – this is something we quickly learn to do again immediately after death.  He says it is possible for angels or spirits to manifest themselves in bodies, to help lift  cars or carry someone through a river.  Physical force can be exerted, physical bodies can be manifested, yet it takes energy, conscious effort, to maintain something that has been manifested – it’s your will that’s bringing together this series of molecules out of the air.  If you get tired, if your attention shifts, the molecules will return to their previous form.  It’s like being a shape shifter – you have to “hold it”

There is this tendency, in addition to thinking of Heaven as a monarchy, to think that what we see happening is the WAY IT IS.  Well, here’s one particular spirit who manifested himself a body with physical age 18, and he hung out for quite a while.  He did it, it is possible, it’s just not the most common path that we see or experience. 

And by the way, John says, just because you encounter someone at the grocery store doesn’t mean they were born in the same way you were.  Any number of people around you “could” be manifesting their forms, and in fact, they are.  This is what people are talking about when they say “aliens in human form, walking among us, learning.”  These are simply beings who popped in, ready-made, and will pop out after a while.

John later told us of a story:  A friend of his in heaven who had never experienced an incarnation on earth was talking with John about earth and what it’s like here.  John says it’s great for learning various things, and so his friend decided to pop in briefly by manifesting a body and see for himself.  (I say “him” although no gender was indicated.) 

So this friend manifests himself in some sketchy neighbourhood in San Francisco, and is promptly mugged!  He disappeared shortly thereafter, a little miffed with John but with a better understanding of earth and the lessons to be had here.  This friend has not expressed further interest in incarnating on earth, for some reason.

So this is why you, me, John, everyone else we’ve spoken to mainly incarnate in bodies that are born from other bodies.  Bodies that are born from other bodies already on this vibration have a very easy time perpetuating their existence on this level.  When we occupy such a body, it’s much easier to maintain, and it allows us to forget things like how to transcend matter so that we may learn other things, other ways to learn by creating lives, challenges for ourselves that we “can’t” instantly manifest our way out of, although we will ultimately learn that we still are manifesting our own solutions and our own problems to boot.

We occupy bodies that exist on their own.  Bodies of this density were created so that we can experience this vibration – the bodies help anchor us here for long periods of time.  Or “Time” as I’m tempted to quote.  Gotta love metaphysics – you start to want to put quotes around everything.
Yet, we leave our bodies all the time.  We return “home” all the time.  We just don’t always remember it, and every day we make the decision to keep on living, every day that we wake up because we returned to our bodies.  We may not see this as a decision.  We may even want to die despite returning to our bodies every damn day.  I keep seeing Mocha, and how her body suddenly changed, stopped breathing, when she jumped through the portal to heaven. 

Our bodies can die and kick us out.  We can leave our bodies behind and they will die without us.  We are not our bodies, and many of us already know this.  Bodies are the tools by which we experience our lives, they are not our prisons.  I know it may feel that way sometimes, but they are not.

In this way, our life charts don’t really exist either – we recreate them every day we continue to move forward with them.  If we wanted to, with our hearts and all of our SOUL, we could utterly change the course of our lives at the drop of a hat, regardless of our chartsOur charts would change in that instant, and they would have always been thus.  The new chart would erase the old one’s existence.

The whole idea of our life chart – it’s the formality of our decision to manifest particular challenges.

It’s like when you decide to start a business and you write out your business plan.  Your life might not exactly turn out as you life-planned it, but you will find the lessons are learned, and ultimately you always accomplish what you set out to do.  It’s just if your spirit is trying harder to manifest a challenge than your consciousness is trying to manifest a solution (ie – when is the money coming to make my movie?  Why isn’t it here?  Why can’t I manifest it?)
I read this in a Gail Bodine novel:  “Things happen just as they are meant to happen, because that is how they happened.”

She was Quaker for a while, and an ancestral elf, I believe, just as she believed.  Her novels are published as fiction, but I think there’s a lot more to them than that.

I wrote all this out and sent it in another email to Sweetie.  She replied:

Ohhhh!  Yeah ok — that all makes so much sense.

I was just thinking about John, actually, wondering what he might have to say about these ideas but not really having the mental energy to try to talk to him at the moment.  Wondering, do these ideas conflict with the ideas that we’ve already been exploring?  Because it seemed true from all points, yet I couldn’t reconcile it.


Also this guy Alan Watts talks in a few lectures about “transcending the ego”.  I heard John mention in an interview that during a period around 1967 he’d been doing too much LSD and “destroyed his ego”, so when he’d go into the studio with the Beatles he’d just be like, “Oh, whatever you guys want to do is fine”.  So I thought he might not be too keen on the idea of ego transcendence. 

I personally take a different view of it, that transcending the ego is not about not giving a shit at all, but about doing your “work” (whatever it is) and engaging with the world, but not mistaking your work for something that is “yours”, because there is no “you”.  It’s all an expression of the whole.

(Although I suppose if I took that idea to heart I’d have to let go of any ideas about whether art is “worth” making, or not…)

Okay, my mind hole just exploded.

I’ll interrupt Sweetie’s message here for one of my own:

As I write this entry which should have been posted on Friday but is now getting posted on Monday, I realize that I received some clarification on the idea of ego over the weekend.  Egos are not problems.  They are not things to learn to master or completely transcend.  Egos have purposes, and indeed they help us to learn and to help others. 

Egos are part of what helps us to define our consciousness as separate from everyone else.  As though, in the sea urchin consciousness of the universe, we are a small, individual piece.  This experience of separateness is completely valid.  It is exactly what we’re supposed to be feeling, day to day.  Yet, it’s useful to understand that there could be no separateness without the grand unification of all energy everywhere.  So my personal goal is to understand my ego as a tool that helps me to define my personal experience, but to be aware and not allow my ego to attempt to define SOMEONE ELSE’S experience.  We are tempted to do this by insisting other people agree with our point of view… particularly if you’re an Aries, like me.

Back to Sweetie and her Knit Meat series:

I was working on my meat scarf and watching an episode of this series Alan Watts did in the late 50s called “Eastern Wisdom and Modern Life”.  He does a divination from the I Ching, (this blew our mind later this weekend when the I Ching came up in three other unrelated circumstances, including Linda Keen’s third book “Intuition Magic, 25 years later”.) 

Divination can involve casting coins, and Alan starts explaining in detail how the whole thing works.  At some point I sort of stop listening and drift off, wondering if I have enough space between the raw layers and the cooked layers of my meat scarf.  And I start to think about what I want to make next, and decide I should look through that book “Li: Dynamic Forms in Nature” and check out some of the organic forms for inspiration. 

http://www.amazon.com/Li-Dynamic-Nature-Wooden-Books/dp/0802714102

And I’m looking at a section on nebulous cloud forms, and a picture of metal impurities in jasper.

At that moment I snap back into watching the show, and he’s saying:

“And so, we come thus to a conception of the order of nature that is one of the most important words in the Chinese language.  And that is a word which originally meant ‘the markings in jade, the grain in wood, or the fibre in muscle’ — and it’s pronounced, ‘li’ “. 

And he’s drawing these symbols on a paper board with a brush.

And I just, like, shrieked, and dropped my crochet hook.

I replied to Sweetie:

Omfg.  Spooky!

Wow!  Alan is a really intense teacher, eh?  He was totally poking you to look that stuff up in conjunction with his lecture.

Amazing, sweetie.  Maybe you should call your art show of meat scarves “Li – Dynamic forms in nature”

Sweetie replies:

It’s true.  I think they’re laughing their asses off up in heaven, actually.  I think John might have had a hand in it as well:  “You really want to freak her out?  Tell her to go look at her book!”

Because I went to have a shower after that experience and get my head together.  And then I started hearing Instant Karma:

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/john_lennon/instant_karma.html


And then John started saying something like, “I know you understand your interconnectedness on that level — because you can see it.  You can see how all the little forms in your body mimic the forms in the outside world.  But when you experience your interconnectedness first hand through synchronicities, you get scared sometimes.  But it’s all part of it”.

Which is a really good point.

So that’s it for our late edition of John Lennon Friday… are you as confused as we are?