The Second Glorious ReinCARnation! How I manifested a new car.

Here it is, the story of the second reinCARnation – and it’s incredible.  To refresh your memory, here is the car Sweetie & I owned in 2011 / 2012:

karma ca

And when this one died, we went car-free for almost a year.  Here is the car we purchased in 2013:

car 2

It was a nearly IDENTICAL red toyota tercel.  That second car died after only 6 months of use.  After that, I vowed I would not buy another beater, but wait until I could afford a reliable car.  Driving a beater is for people with better tolerance for living on the ragged edge.  Will we get over that hill?  Let’s see!  Will we make it to town?  Who knows!

I would rather have no car than a sort-of car that costs money to insure, gas up and repair, in exchange for tenuous functionality.

So we have an under-the-table secret:  we desperately need to move.  We are not getting any sleep here, and our landlady does not follow the Residential Tenancy Act… and there is a housing crisis so we have been unable to find another place to live.  We’ve been looking for over a year.

Okay, well, it COULD be worse… but it’s pretty darn bad right now.

I’ll need to do another post on how to deal with energy vampires like this in your life. She’s a perfectly nice lady by day, but a door-knocking, micromanaging, laundry counting / critiquing, crazy-making, texting while Sweetie was at her father’s funeral (and wouldn’t stop) emailing multiple times a week kind of gal.

I have set boundaries over and over and over. She spent the last year saying “I know you’re angry with me,” and her new rhetoric is “I wish we could be friends again.” I have never said a mean thing to this lady, all I’ve asked for, over and over again, is space. Space and privacy.

Apart from that, she really is a nice lady. There is no way we could see this coming when we rented from her.

I’m just so grateful they don’t play music. It could be much worse, but yes, it’s pretty darn awful for me at times.

So, we need to move. We’ve been looking for a new place for months and months. There is a housing crisis in Tofino, and it seems to be worse this year because many landlords are choosing to kick out their long-term tenants in order to turn their rentals into B & B suites.

There has literally been nowhere for us to go.

Except, maybe, Ucluelet. We lived in Ucluelet from 2009 – 2012, and I love that little town. It has more of a redneck personality which actually suits me better than the nosy neighbour hippy-dippy culture in Tofino, where everyone has opinions about your recycling and composting habits.

In Ucluelet, the groceries cost a bit less, the tourists are not quite so thick, the 12 km long Wild Pacific Trail snakes along the Oceanside opening spectacular views and the sea lions of the harbour bark up a storm all winter long, reminding you that you actually live on the wild west coast.

I love Ucluelet. But I work in Tofino, and while housing costs less in Ucluelet, I would have to own and drive a vehicle almost daily to make it work.

Honestly, I was resigned to another year of crazy landlady, no sleep in summertime, incessant texts and psychotic mis-counting of every load of laundry we do. (We’re sure she doesn’t harass her kids when THEY do laundry.)

Then I thought, “Well, let’s just see what’s possible.” I researched car dealerships and contacted one with a good reputation. The following series of emails assured me that yes, in fact I *could* afford to have a car and drive it 30,000 km a year. IF the car payments were X.

The sales guy, we’ll call him Fred, assured me that yes, we can certainly get payments under the amount of Y.

I have to have payments no more than X, I repeated. Sure, sure! Absolutely do-able!

So I bought a one-way bus ticket from Tofino to Nanaimo, rattled the 5-hour journey away by listening to my ipod and chatting with a flirty man in his sixties.

I guess when the dealership picks you up from the bus depot, they think they have a leg up on you.

I test-drove the 2013 Chevrolet Sonic that we’d been discussing. Then Fred dropped this line:

“Wow, you’re doing really well, driving standard.”




In my head: Did that just happen? Does he mean, for someone with a VAGINA!? Good thing I packed my PENIS so I’d know how to drive a manual!!!

Then I thought, so that’s how it is, eh?

We get back to the dealership. Of course, as expected, pre-negotiated number X was off the table. So was Y. They came to me with number Z.

Of course I said no. You always say no to the first number.

The second number was insulting too. When I asked what had happened to number X, they said “The bank shortened the term of the loan.”

Yeah, bullshit. Not buying that for a second. Fred goes back into the “manager’s office” and says “You’ll hear the boss screaming and yelling at me!”

Yeah, right.

Finally they came back with a monthly payment that was X plus $15. I figured yeah, I could live with that.

Then they kept me waiting for 45 minutes, during which time a guy named Bob came up to me to chat, as did a guy named Rick. They were being all friendly, trying to make me laugh. To smile is to show weakness during negotiations, and I knew they weren’t sincere. Their boss wouldn’t be paying them to socialize with clients, they’re being paid to size me up.

Then they funneled me into the insurance office – they wanted me to sign up for insurance before I’d even seen the paperwork on the car! Uh, NO! I asked to see the financing paperwork first, into the finance guy’s office. Turns out it’s Bob. Bob smiles a big smile, because we’re friends, you see. He told me a joke.

When I sat down to look at that paperwork… It was ridiculous. The cost of borrowing was astronomical. Now, I realize I’m in a credit re-building phase, but I also know that there are banks and dealerships that exploit desperate people with marginalized credit scores.   I am not desperate, and I am not going to screw myself financially just to have a car. Not when I can live with crazy landlady for another year and try for better financing next year.

I saw an $800 charge on the paperwork. I pointed to it. “What’s this?”

“Oh, that’s your tire insurance.”


Blink. In my head, What the fuuuuuuuu??? I can buy four new tires for $800.


Interpreting my silence as misunderstanding, Bob explains: “Yeah, if you hit a pothole and your tire pops and your rim is damaged, this insurance will replace it.”

In my head, They think they can pull it all over on me. They think I’m really, really ignorant. 

That’s when I started to get angry. What I said: “I will decline that insurance. What else here is extra? What’s this $500?”

“That’s insurance for damage.” Bob went on making it sound like it was insurance that was a really great idea to have.

“Bob, can I see the paperwork for that insurance, please?”

What Bob hands me is not an insurance policy, but a flier for “Theft Protection”. That is, if I paid $500 now, IF my car is stolen and IF it’s damaged because it’s stolen, they’d kick up to $2,000 towards repairs.

Absolutely ridiculous. I doubt it was a real insurance policy. I suspect it was a dealership cash-grab, and they’d want repair work done *at* the dealership.

I asked about the “staff discount” they were giving me, as a hospital employee. “Oh that’s been applied to the sticker price of the vehicle.” Of course, most of that was cancelled out by a $500 documentation fee.

Then Bob whips this comment out: “Well, the car’s a standard, so you’ll be saving lots of money on the brakes!”

The words hit the table between us with a splat.

In my head: He thinks I don’t know what break pads cost. 

Later, when I recounted this story to Sweetie, she cranked off this remark: “Yeah, ‘cause I go through break pads like tampons!” I nearly peed myself, I laughed so hard! Next time I buy a car, Sweetie needs to come with me so she can make snide, sarcastic, glib and undermining comments like this during the negotiations.

At some point, I got up and left the room. I went to the bathroom and started to tear up, because I was so freaking disappointed. I was not going to say yes to a financing agreement and a bunch of people who showed me no respect. I wondered if they’d change the deal when I told them I was going to walk.

They did.

But it wasn’t good enough. Every time I asked a pointed question, Bob had a runaround answer for it. He was a slippery sucker who was difficult to pin down. He even tried to convince me by saying “You AGREED to these terms in email!”

Oh, bullshit. I was so angry I started to cry. In that moment, I remembered an excerpt from Tina Fey’s autobiography, “Never, ever cry. Unless you have to. Sometimes a well-timed emotional scene is a good negotiating tactic.”

Then I remembered Lady Gaga, and how upset she was with the first set of photos for her first album cover. She said, “I had to cry for a week to get them to change it.”

And finally, a voice popped into my head that said, You’re not going to get anywhere with these guys if you’re NICE. 

I stood up. I pointed at the paperwork and I yelled / assertively projected my voice at Bob, “If the numbers had looked like this in email, I WOULD NOT HAVE COME. I am CRYING because I’m PISSED OFF! I am going to stay in a HOTEL ROOM TONIGHT and take the BUS HOME tomorrow because YOU GUYS did not come through!!!”

“Please sit down,” Bob whisper / screams and pats my hand. “Please, sit down!”

Immediately, the manager comes in – turns out it’s Rick. He ALSO pats my hand and asks me to please sit down.

Now, if I were a man yelling, do you think they’d be patting my hand? Of course not. I stayed standing.

Both men try to use their louder voices to interrupt me.   I kept talking. I grabbed my purse to walk out.

They knocked more off the price, brought my payments down to X and brought my cost of borrowing down to a reasonable amount, if I choose to keep this car (rather than trade it in a year from now to get better financing.)

Finally, I was ready to sign up for insurance. By this time it was after business hours, and they had to call in an insurance lady to do my paperwork. That took a half-hour, at the end of which it turned out the insurance premiums were going to be nearly double what I thought they’d be.

In my head, Well, that tears it. I can’t own a car at those insurance rates. I guess it’s over. 

I went back into Bob’s office and explained politely that while I appreciated they were giving me a deal on the car, I can’t take it as the insurance rates were much higher than expected.

Again, I was ready to walk. Bob insisted I wait, and hustled back into Rick’s office. A few minutes later, he came out and offered to pay for half my insurance premiums for the first year.

I took a long, long time to decide. By this time it had been four hours, and if I hadn’t memorized the key figures before I went into the dealership, I would have just walked away from the deal because I was so far from capable of making a decision that would affect me for years to come… but I did know those numbers, and my mushy brain could at least match them up.

It was an hour after closing time, Bob started practically begging me to take it. “You got what you want! We gave it to you!” He did everything but say, “Please take the car and leave so I can go home!!!”

I don’t know why on earth they were willing to take such a hit on the profit. I think that at the end of the day, they didn’t want a customer with a big mouth walking out the door unhappy.

I signed the paperwork, got into a car so new that it didn’t feel like mine, and drove it to Tim Horton’s where I promptly burst into tears.

I had no idea car buying could be so brutal. On Sunday, I spent the evening dry-heaving the exhaustion, anxiety and sheer “ick” out of my body. It took 48 hours for the fear to wear off and the tentative happiness to seep in.

I look at that paperwork, and honestly, I know it’s immodest but I am damn impressed with myself. I found an assertiveness gear in my guts that I didn’t know I had. I don’t think the dealership made any money off of me at all. (The bank will, if I keep this car and pay it off at this rate.)

The idea is that I’ll trade this car in for a different one at a better financing rate in a year, and I understood that I *had to* get a deal I could afford on this first vehicle, because this deal would affect the next one. What if they didn’t give me a good enough trade in offer?

I stopped at a Wal-Mart at the halfway point on the journey home. I like to stop at Wally’s to use the bathroom, maybe pick up some French fries or a toaster. That night, I just wandered the isles, stretching my legs and leaving my eyes unfocused… until I got to the women’s clothing section, and it snapped into focus: A faux-vintage t-shirt with “The Beatles” logo.


Thank you, guys.


I was too tired to really talk to them, but I think I heard “nice ride!” as I started the car up again to go home.

These are the small signs that a lot of people experience, and it’s easy to write it off as coincidence. Did John and George really care that I got a good deal on a car?

I think so. I think I needed all the help I could get, because now, Now, NOW Ucluelet is a housing option again! After our series of harrowing drives in beater cars, I was unwilling to buy another beater and be dependent upon it to get to the hospital.

I think they were helping me. The deal I got on this car was a small miracle. I don’t know why they didn’t let me walk, why they stayed an hour after closing. There was just the *right* amount of customers in the dealership that night – enough to witness my yelling and possibly change their minds about buying there, but no one who was serious about buying *today*.

I know I stayed in that dealership because a) I didn’t WANT to have to find a hotel and figure out how to catch the bus home and b) I really, really wanted to make Ucluelet a possibility.

It’s all about getting out from under Crazy Controlling Landlady, and it’s about actually accessing the amazingness of the wild west coast! Without a reliable vehicle, I haven’t been enjoying living out here as much as I did the first few years. I *love* the trails, the National Park Reserve, the isolated secret beaches and the scenic two-hour drive to Port Alberni.

The car also opens up income opportunity for Sweetie. She can work full time at the gallery, seek work at the library (which has locations in Ucluelet and Tofino) and scope out galleries to sell her work all over the island.

So I stayed, even though I was exhausted, and for some reason, Fred, Bob and Rick were willing to do what it took to get me to take the car.

In the end, I can barely believe I got the thing. It’s almost new, it’s certainly the nicest vehicle I’ve ever owned. It’s possibly the newest vehicle anyone in my family has ever owned. It feels like a rental I forgot to return! I need to adjust to it!

Here it is:


It’s basically Chevrolet’s version of a red tercel: the Sonic.

I did not post photos of my new car for the general public, for a few reasons. Mainly, I know how I’ve felt these past ten years when someone I know gets a new car and posts about it online, all happy and show-offy. I thought, “Must be nice to have money.”

And maybe you’re thinking this too.

The reason why I wrote all about this is I think this car is the first thing I full-on “manifested”.

It’s like it’s finally clicking with me, what it takes to really create something out what you have on hand. I really just wanted a reliable, safe, affordable version of the 1989 Toyota Tercel we used to drive. It looks like that’s exactly what I got!

Last night, I realized something else:

If I had been my usual worrying self about the scenario of owning a car, I would not have even tried to get one. I would have over-researched every possibility, and when I learned of the insurance premiums on a new vehicle, I would have concluded that car ownership was not possible for me right now. I would have GIVEN UP without even trying!

Instead, this is the first time I went into a life-changing possibility completely open to it, without gaming out scenarios. I literally laid out and clearly defined the terms I needed, which mainly focused on numbers, car safety and reliability. I didn’t visualize a specific car because I didn’t really *care* what sort of car I got, just as long as it met the numbers within my safety limits.

It’s hilarious that the car I got is almost a perfect clone of the last two vehicles we’ve owned, except it’s shiny, reliable and safe! I guess the little red car default setting is still a part of my energy pattern.

I feel profoundly changed by this experience. I think for the very first time, I really *get* how worrying creates problems that don’t have to exist. It blocks solutions that others could step in and provide, if you just give them space.

Here’s another topic I’m going to explore in more detail: Parallel realities, and bringing the good stuff from a parallel reality into your own timeline.

I’ve mentioned in the Joyful Telepathy podcast episode on Parallel Realities that I do believe we run multiple scenarios on a life plan in parallel timelines. We’re not just taking the red pill or the blue pill, we’re taking both. For years, I’ve noticed I have dreams and awareness of a parallel reality that is really similar to this one, but in which all the little hardships have just been softened and tweaked. I specifically remember having a new-ish vehicle in that parallel reality, and my decision was to focus on bringing that car from the concurrent reality into *all of them*.

The assumption I had been making about my parallel reality is that I had a nice car because I was making more money than I do in THIS scenario. The first trick was to get over that assumption, because it’s not necessarily true – and even if it were, that doesn’t mean a new-ish car is impossible for THIS scenario. I literally had to open the door to the POSSIBILITY that maybe, somehow, in some way I can’t imagine right now – it COULD be possible.

Finally, I’m sending tons of love, support and compassion to the version of me who wasn’t ready to take the leap and believe in the possibility of affordable, reliable car ownership. I *could have* kyboshed this thing before it began, and as I believe in parallel realities, I think there’s a scenario where I *did*.

So that’s my ReinCARnation Manifestation story!

What do you guys think about this parallel reality idea?  Do you have a different idea you’d like to share?





Biggie Highlights

biggie smalls

I’ve been thinking about Biggie a LOT in the past few months. I thought I’d review this post that I did with Biggie a year and a half ago, and pull out the highlights:

Biggie Says:

I am a teacher, I am a leader, and my people live in poverty.  (shacks built of metal siding all over the world)

The empowerment is enlightenment, education, emancipation from the slavery of the poverty and the prisons (shows me a cell block, and it’s surprisingly similar to the metal shacks, the density of the population, and the energy around them.)

(He shows me the energy as a flow of money that is easily distributed throughout the world.  It’s a correction of the flow of resources, this is what he’s working on right now.  Part of it is getting people like us, those of us in positions of privilege, educated, free of dictatorship, to open our potential.  We need to have money flow into our lives, because we are the ones who will send it back out in right and equitable ways.)

Just be sure you do, (shows me the fear that sets in when you do have money.  Shows me how afraid I was the moment the car started acting up – it’s like, when you get to a certain point, you become so focused on keeping what you have, that you restrict the flow of money through your life.)

It’s like (shows me the eagle feather – the magic of the eagle feather lasts a year.  In the course of a year, you will be guided to pass the eagle feather on to another – this is how you keep the eagle medicine alive in your life.  Biggie is just calling forward this lesson I learned earlier from another source; so it is with money.  Truly, money is energy.)

Biggie shows me the flow of money through your life has an energy.  This energy is associated with what you do to earn it, how you feel about what you do.  People who do evil, who steal, harm, exploit, enslave, these people have a great river of fiscal energy flowing through them – he shows me this fiscal energy as having a charge, which is presenting as grey, which is the colour I see when something is sick, diseased or causing a deficit which will need to be balanced / healed.  Some people call it karma.

Biggie shakes his head, Naw.  (Shows me karma is for people who sit and meditate and do nothing.) (seriously Biggie?  I’m trying to promote meditation on this blog)  Whatever.  You sittin.  You’re waitin for the next thing to happen.  This (the grey revenue stream) is active.  It has a different charge.  (It’s faster, it affects a different level of the soul.)

Karma (shows me the guru) is working over many lives – you and your sister, you’re working out karma.  (oooookayyyy, we’ll come back to that later.)  This, (negative actions consciously taken) generates more than passive karma, this (shows me an elastic band that is being pulled farther and farther, the tension building and building, the band never breaks, it stores more of this energy.)  At some point, (the band and the energy is released) and this happens within that person’s lifetime.

This is why you hear that cliché, that rich people ain’t happy.  These, (shows me the grey revenue stream) can never be happy, it is impossible.  (Shows me icons like Donald Trump, Kevin O’Leary) they learnin’ the lessons of (grey revenue).  That’s why they here.  These are not evil people, they are (playing their roles, living their life plans.)

This, (yoikes, shows me a dictator in what looks like a prison camp.  He has a family, he drives a nice car…) He is soul-less.  (Shows me he’s empty.  His revenue stream is so, it’s nauseating to behold.)  These (shows me the association of slave owners in Jamacia, sugar plantations, how beautiful the island was, shows me Haiti, shows me the people there, how they had been abducted from their tribal homes and made to destroy this island through their labour, he shows me some women in particular who were very sad about it, how the destruction of this beautiful place compounded their sorrows.  This overwhelming experience is connected to the grey revenue stream, to the people who orchestrate the whole thing – the plantations, the whole slavery industry.  The sorrow of millions associated with the revenue stream generated over the hundreds of years the African people were seen as farm animals.

Shows me factory farm animals.  This energy is different from slavery, shows me lab animals, okay Biggie this is an overwhelming collage of images here and the animal (shows me to backfill my heart connection from heaven, which allows me to calmly observe these images rather than close my heart to them.)

Shows me the exploitation of animals for food, medication and household products generates a revenue stream with yet another different type of grey energy, like a greenish-grey, green associated with nature, and this revenue colour showing me how it is flowing off the planet in all different places now.  It’s like our planet and culture go through phases or almost like fashion trends of the type of grey revenue stream which is acceptable.  We are in this planetary exploitation phase at the moment, with the old resonance of concentration camps and slavery/exploitation of people still existing in particular corners of the world.

How do you go in there and fix that?  This is the suffering of you (kind-hearted, empathetic people on the planet in first world countries, who feel relatively powerless to change or affect the world on a scale that is required.)

You recognize your own (perceived) slavery is an illusion.  (Shows me bills, woman weeping as she does her taxes.)  You let it go, you find your power, do you understand? 

He’s asking the readers if they understand.  He’s saying he’ll continue the lesson in dreamtime of those who are struggling with finding financial freedom, You just have to ask nicely, I’ll hook you up (he indicates other teachers available on this topic, so it’s not necessarily Biggie himself who’d answer your questions.  He smiles and looks tall.  Yes he has this look where he seems to increase in height. 

You need to understand the flow of your stream, (it has an aura, what energy is your money?) You take care of your paper, like taking care of a plant.  You look at it, you talk to it, you water it, you feed it once in a while, you change the pot so it’s got room to grow, most of all you love that plant.  Nothing will grow your revenue stream like loving it, (shows me this high-pitched light from the heart connection charging the revenue stream, altering it.  This is how you manifest, this is how you connect to the power of creation, through the heart – that is how we are all connected to each other.)

(Biggie shows the the Maharashi, the Beatle’s guru, and his connection with millions of people around the world.  Shows me Kurt, and how Kurt’s money connection was the colour of his depression, his energy affected the whole experience.)

Who you are is going to be reflected in the flow of money in your life.  That is why (your car) changes.  (Vehicles are one way of showing ourselves and other people what our money looks like.  Shows me the difference between a vehicle leased with anxiety, like trying to keep up appearances, versus a vehicle that is leased with joy and gratitude.)

(Shows me you’ve got to take care of yourself first, you’ve got to love yourself enough to live a healthy life) There is no sense being poor in a rich country.  What you do is recognize the availability of revenue in your life, you (build your positive relationship with that stream) you turn towards it you take it in.  You do not (shows me Kurt and John, exhausted, depressed and feeling hermity with the strain of fame.  It’s true, Biggie didn’t get worn down by fame in that way, and he shows me it was because he set his boundaries, he measured his energy, he embraced every aspect of his success including lawyers and bills.  He measured his approach, he maintained this calm, measured concentration when building his revenue. 

I keep hearing this line from the movie, “I didn’t want to be just another rapper on the street corner.  So I did Juicy, Big Poppa, radio songs.”  (his pop songs that took about 10% of his time when he wrote them and make up 80% of his revenue.  They sold his records that contained the other 90% of his work.)

You go ahead, we can talk again.  (Looks tall.)


Before I talk to Biggie again, I want to make sure I spend time with this incredibly dense material he’s already provided.  Biggie has high expectations, and it’s an excellent motivational tool!

Please feel free to comment with your questions for Biggie!



Proof the Universe has a sense of humour…

Remember Karma Car? Our rusty red 1989 Toyota Tercel we sold back in January?
You can search the blog for “car” to find a photo of it.

Sweetie got a job at the art gallery in the next town over. Consequently, after cycling everywhere for six months, we suddenly needed a car ASAP.

Guess what we got? A 1988 Toyota Tercel!!!


It’s Karma Car II – the reinCARnation!

The great news is that even though its a year older than Karma Car I, it has no rust and 100,000 km less on the odometer. The sound system is modern, all the blinkers and wipers work and the bumpers are completely attached!

HUZZAH! Behold:


I realized today that perhaps the Universe gave us an identit-car so that we could be truly grateful for it. It’s not super fancy, yet it is much better than what we had, and we really needed it so that Sweetie can get to her dream job.

I am not being facetious when I said this is from “the universe”. It’s not like we can go to a used car lot to buy a car if we need one: no, you have to NETWORK to get a vehicle out here!

We were actually very lucky to get a car at all, particularly one that cost *precisely* as much as we could afford.

Yes, life is funny.

PS: my beautiful and amazing assistant Kitty has been creating and backdating posts for all the Channeling Erik guest posts I did; for those of you who are subscribed, it might look like you’re getting spammed. I’m sorry to flood your inbox! It’s a necessary housekeeping for the blog. Thank you for hanging in there!