Ep. 28 Surviving Super-Empathy!

28. Surviving Super-Empathy

I recorded this one while at the beach, so there is a LOT of interesting sound texture in there, and you can also hear how happy I am to be outside in the sunshine.

This has got to be one of my favourite episodes so far – one of the big blocks people have about developing telepathically and intuitively is “What if I can’t handle the sad things in the animal kingdom / the world if I open up?”  Some people feel like they just can’t handle that kind of sensitivity.

Well I’ll tell you how *I* deal with it, and I promise you I am about as bleeding-heart of a tree-hugger as you’ll ever meet!


Past lives, Inner demons and more Crazy Talk!

Karmic Resonance


It’s that time again: when I let loose and write about something s *crazy* that even *I* considered holding this one back.


This all started two years ago when I began to self-regress in nightly meditation under the guidance of my kind and compassionate spirit friends.


Some of the things that came up during that time, I wrote about.  Some of them, I kept to myself.


See, our past lives are not always pretty.  We know how messy life on earth can get, and I’ve seen how easy it is to tie your identity and self-worth to a concept like “lightworker”.  Some people only want to look at the light in themselves.


My friends, we are not all pure and happy balls of light.  I do believe each one of us has light and shadow aspects of our spirit consciousness and our history.  I also believe that both aspects are a perfect expression of the euphoric, universal, we-are-all-one “god”.


I also believe that many of us, including me, have expressed terribly dark facets in past lives, even if, and maybe that’s precisely why, we’re “good people” now.


I do truly believe that all action, thought and experience creates an energetic impact, ripples that affect us in future lives and affect our past lives retroactively… because time is bendy like that.


These ripples, sometimes caused by us, sometimes initiated by others, create an energetic resonance (karma).


In meditation, you might reach a place of expansive consciousness, where this idea is downloaded and makes complete sense, until you go back into your human body and your brain starts to tell you it’s contradictory.  It *is* contradictory from the perspective of an incarnated being with a limited and linear life span.


I’ll give you an example from one of my meditations and my personal history.  If you’re having a down day, you might want to come back to this story later.




When I was seven years old, my adult teeth were coming in… except I was getting too many.  I had extra teeth, and this posed a problem.  Not only that, but my adult teeth were far too large for my jaw.  The only solution was to pull the extra teeth.


Getting teeth “extracted” is an incredibly unpleasant experience for an adult.  For a kid, it’s awful.  On top of that, our dentist was old-school.  He used *reusable* needles and glass syringes, which make the injection of the local anesthetic really painful.


The sickening maraschino cherry on top of this crap sundae is:  the local anesthetic didn’t really work.  So there I was, a seven year old kid, getting two or three teeth pulled at a time, screaming my head off, saying “it hurts!” and no one believed me.


I was an obedient child so it took three visits before I stood up for myself and refused to go back to the dentist.  I threatened to fight and to run away.  Finally, my parents took me seriously.


They found me a new dentist who used disposable needles, a different, effective anesthetic, and he even used a chocolate flavored topical anesthetic so I wouldn’t feel the needle as much.  He had five birds at his house, and would bring me colourful feathers as a present whenever I came to “visit”.  Eventually, I became this family’s babysitter of their five children, and I survived the subsequent necessary extractions without further trauma.


But I carried resentment with me for years.  How could my mother hear her kid screaming in pain and not come to help?  How could she bring her kid back there, and not investigate better options until I was so terrified I refused to cooperate?


Of course the rational brain kicks in.  Intellectually, I forgave my mother, but the trauma was still there.


One night, in meditation, sliding through the lifetimes looking for old wounds that needed healing, I came upon a life experience with such vivid, visceral certainty in the truth of these memories, that it shocked me to my very core.


I dropped into the body of a massive man, hunched at the shoulders from a lifetime of ducking under doorways and stooping to labor with tools too small for my body.  I was wearing filthy, oily leather armor, conscious of the chafing because I was not wearing the proper undergarments.  I was wearing only filthy protective clothing and a rusting metal helmet to hide my face, but no soft fabric because it would get ruined from the mess.  All the blood, and other body fluids.


I walked down a stone staircase and watched myself pull the teeth of other living humans, while another man in black robes asked them questions.


There I was, doing the bidding of a weak, cruel man, and I was bigger and stronger than anyone in the building.  I could have picked up this prisoner and walked them out of the compound, no one would have stopped me.  Instead I stayed and pulled his teeth, and the teeth of many others.


Then I understood why I had to experience a small part of the pain I’d inflicted as a result of the choices I’d made in a past life.  This was karma, settling itself.  The energetic resonance needed a harmonizing note, and my understanding of it released the last bits of resentment and anger I harbored towards my mother.


The last extraction I experienced was when I was nineteen, and I had all four wisdom teeth removed under general anesthetic.   My cheeks blew up into chipmunk size pouches for two weeks afterwards, and my face became discolored with bruises as though I’d sustained a terrible beating.


And I have not had one ounce of trouble from my teeth ever since.  Not one cavity, knock on wood.


I haven’t gotten to the really crazy part yet.  I think I’ll save that for tomorrow.  (Or the next blog entry, whichever comes first!)


Rafters–Angels on Earth

soul bubble kate sitka

Last year I did a reading for the very first True Rafter I had ever met.  She wanted to look at her life plan, what her higher self had planned for her and the themes around her incarnation.

Basically she was asking, “What the heck am I doing here?”

I looked and was astounded by what I saw, clear as a bell in my mind, as though I was physically looking at her plan right in front of my eyes: a single piece of paper, with a single sentence written on it.

Help where help is needed.

Then I saw travel all over the world.  This help included everything from picking up a kid’s shoe that had fallen off his foot, to spending potentially years abroad working on grassroots projects in developing nations.  The possibilities were truly limitless, but the purpose was the same.

And then I saw unfolding angel wings, and I understood.

It was truly mind-boggling to me, because most of what I’ve read through the teachers I’ve encountered never made mention of high-resonance “angelic” beings incarnating in physical form.

I’ve talked about Angel Training, sure.  But I’d never before run into someone whose life plan was so profound and uncomplicated, and whose higher self showed me wings.

There are many potential ways to interpret this message, but I went with the certainty, the full-body *knowing* that came the moment I saw those wings. 

So I told her exactly what I saw, and what I thought.  Then I didn’t hear from her for months.  I couldn’t stop thinking about her, that reading completely rocked my world.  I felt like I’d caught a glimpse of El Dorado.  Then, one day I opened my email to see a message from her, which was a testimonial so beautiful it actually made me cry. 

This work is full of little miracles.

That reading opened my awareness to a whole new type of incarnation, one where you *don’t* have a plan.  You didn’t really need one, and you’re okay with that.

Rafters have a comfort zone that is bigger than the widest-ranging risks a most of us would ever take.  Big changes come easily to Rafters, they ride uncertainty and the unknown like a surfer on a wave. 

Want to move across the country with this person you just met? Take a job you’ve been offered and think you can do but really know nothing about?  Travel around the world for a few years with little money and no plan?  

Sounds just right to a Rafter. 

Rafters *know* it’ll always work out because it always DOES for them.  They’re not here strictly for their own development, they’re the “right place, right time” masters, and they’re the ones who hear the other angels the best.

Rafters might not even know that their impulses are really nudges from all the angels trying to help us all along.  Rafters are the angelic boots on the ground, they’re like the sleeper agents for the universe. 

Here’s the really awesome thing:  many of us have a sub-theme in life as a Rafter.  Remember this whole thing is a continuum, with Planners on one extreme, Wingers in the middle and Rafters on the other end.  There are a TON of people who have Rafter “phases” in life.  We might devote a decade or more to a Rafter time, before “growing up” and discovering true ambitions of our own. 

“True Rafters” (and by true, I mean those who incarnate with one sentence life plans) radiate an energy that so many people are attracted to.  They seem pure, innocent, optimistic, friendly and loving towards everyone.  Rafters simply can’t see a difference between one sort of person and another.  They might be perplexed when someone tries to tell them about “those people” but they can’t hold on to a judgement against “those people” or the person talking to them!

I’m reminded of my high school friend Ben who invited a homeless man in Toronto to stay with him, without even consulting his roommate who was standing right there!  It did not even occur to Ben that his friends might have a problem bringing this stranger home.  A True Rafter can only see the light in another person, and is only capable of seeing the best, highest-good action as an option in any given situation.

Remember this entry on Exit Points?  For Rafters, every day is a potential exit point.  THAT is how open their life plan is!  It’s a scary thought for a lot of people. 

Here’s a tough part for a lot of people: Rafters are sometimes victims of terrible crimes.  It was not necessarily planned when they came in to die in such a tragic way.  Rafters seem to be tapped, or seem to be asked to put themselves in the path of a human predator to divert this predator from another potential victim who does have a complex life plan. 

This is why it seems like the best, the brightest, the most radiant of people seem to end up as victims in this way. 

Likewise, Rafters are the ones struck down in their prime by sudden illnesses or accidents.  A rare disease will crop up out of nowhere and ruthlessly snuff out their light.  A car accident will end it all, or a fluke series of coincidences.  This golden child who always seemed to be on the right side of lady luck will suddenly seem to be crushed by a cruel and merciless world. 

Why do bad things happen to good people?  Well, because this world is a challenging place that’s full of random chance, a sort of organized chaos that is being actively managed by our own thoughts, our choices and the crazy-constant work of our guides, angels and spirit friends. 

For Rafters, they didn’t plan a specific exit point.  They can decide to be done at anytime.  They can be nudged towards an exit point that will teach doctors about a rare disease, or help bring awareness to a trend of violent crime.  Rafters do not hesitate to risk their lives helping others, and sometimes they do leave their bodies through one heroic act or another. 

For those left behind, sometimes you can obviously see the how this person’s death had a profound impact on the world, but more often the death seems random and senseless. 

What I’ve seen and heard through many readings, learned from many teachers, is that no death is random or senseless.  It may not have been planned ahead of time, but every death has retroactive purpose. 

Even the grieving process of those left behind is a lesson from a Rafter.  The death and the grief will motivate action and change, because people just can’t *stand* this particular senseless death.  Even in death, a Rafter’s influence has the uncanny knack of getting everyone involved in a good cause.

Are you a Winger?

soul bubble kate sitka


Do you feel like there are a lot of potential things you could succeed at?  Do you feel enthusiastic about a LOT of different ideas?  Do you wonder what your Life’s Purpose is?  Do you feel guilty, as though you should narrow your interests down to one or two things as your “life path”?  Do you worry whether you’re doing what you’re “supposed to do?”

Do you worry you may be wasting your life?

Welcome to the life of a Winger!

I came up with this term because I have a lot of Wingers as clients who ask me about their life’s purpose, as though they’re supposed to have only one, and as though everything in their life will magically fall into place if they could only just PICK something!

While Planners are meticulous in what they set out for themselves before they incarnate, through conversations with many clients and their angels / guides over the years, it’s become clear that we need some new language around the idea of “Life Plans”. 

Planners are driven, they blaze through life, they’re focused and they can really help a winger decide on a course of action.  Again, planners are great advisors. 

Wingers are the ultimate creative spirits.  They’re driven to do… something!  Something amazing, something great!  What is it???

Nothing is more exciting to a Winger than a new beginning, a new venture, a new possibility.  Wingers start things over and over in their lives, and their lifetime can often be seen in clumps of themes over the years:

The childhood years, the student years, the child-rearing years, the divorce years, the new business years, the NEW new business years, the grieving years, the rebirth years.  Wingers lives go in cycles, and so do their moods, even their energy levels and outlook on life. 

Wingers can experience massive, sweeping changes in the fundamental parts of life that offer most other people a lot of stability: family, religion, location, careers, all of these things can undergo complete transformations within just one short lifetime.

That’s because Wingers’ INTENTION when they incarnated was to cover a bullet-point list of soulful experiences, and this “to do” list can be accomplished through the permutation of seemingly random events on earth. 

Wingers are on a lifelong road trip without a map, without hotel reservations, just a bucket list and a whole lot of faith in themselves.

I believe we have a WHOLE LOT MORE Wingers on the planet right now than ever before.  I have this theory because of the difference between myself and my psychic Oma (my paternal great-grandmother.)

My Oma was a remote-viewer.  She could tap into where missing people were, what their condition was, whether they were alive or dead, and if alive, when they would be able to come home.  She lived through both world wars, and her services were desperately needed and sought after by families all over Europe. 

When anyone asks me about their future, I always qualify it with a speech: the future is a series of potentials based on the possible choices of all involved.  So if you ask me should I move to Denver, Los Angeles or New York, I won’t pretend to tell you what “will” happen.  We can look at the potentials of those choices.

Why is now different than 80 years ago? 

We’re not at war, for starters.  Not in the way the world was terrorized by war back while my Oma lived.  80 years ago, people’s choices were limited by so many factors: their gender, their economic status, their birthplace and heritage, their religion, their culture and their government.  When a country went to war, the future of all of the people in that country was hardlined for at least a decade.

Young men went to war because they had to, (there was no where to run from conscription in WWI or II.) Women went to work and struggled to survive.  Battles unfolded all over the world, everyone’s life plans unfolded in a coordinated dance, everyone moving in unison, the whole planet grinding relentlessly forward, the war driven by politics and greed.

Now, in our neck of the woods, many of us in “first world” countries have so much opportunity.  We have our parents’ generation to thank for opening all of these options for us, and we’re breaking barriers in equality continually. 

Now we have freedom to move around the world, freedom to change locations, religions, to break out of gender-roles and break through socio-economic boundaries.

So why on earth would everyone incarnate into a new age of possibilities with heavily detailed life plans? 

You know what?  A bunch of us just decided to pick themes, maybe five or fifty, and incarnate just with this list, just with this intuitive awareness of things we like, things that make us happy.

And for some of us, that’s all the guidance we get in life.

What’s incredibly liberating for a Winger is just to *know* they’re a Winger.  We hear a lot of rhetoric about being “on track” with your life’s purpose.  That’s enough to make a Winger hyperventilate!

I’ve got a secret for all you fellow wingers out there:

You cannot screw this up.

You really can’t.  The worst thing you can do is make yourself unhappy worrying about what you *should* be doing.  Nothing kills creativity more than putting too much weight on outside advice.

You will never be a square peg in a square hole.  You’ll never fit quite right anywhere.  You’re not designed to fit!  You’re designed to be weird, to be different, to explore and to learn!

As long as you’re doing those things, as a winger, you’re on track!

Now, understand that you don’t have to be *only* a winger or a planner – you can be a combination of both.  There are a million different shades of winger / planner.  In fact, I think a lot of people are *mostly* planner, and when they get to a winger stage in their life, it seems like everything’s fallen apart. 

Combination wingers / planners live like a “choose your own adventure” book.  They come up to some major crossroads in their life which profoundly affects the direction of their life.  In those moments you’re looking at your list and yourself and you’re having a conversation with your “higher self” – which road do you take?

You will pick the right road, don’t worry. 

Wingers have a talent at looking back on their lives, mistakes and all, and not regretting a single moment because it all made them the person they are today.

And that was the whole point.

Do you have a Planner in your life?

cat budgie

(I couldn’t think of a photo to go with “Planners” – so you get a cat and a budgie!)

In Episode 14 of the Joyful Telepathy Podcast I introduced the idea of Planners, Wingers and Rafters as a way of looking at our life plans.


Life Plans are generally what people talk about when they mean “my soul’s purpose, my intention when I incarnated, my contract with the Divine.”


With the idea of a “Life Plan” came this anxiety that if you’re not “on track” with your life plan, not doing what you’re supposed to do, that this is the source of your anxiety, discontent, depression or unhappiness.


Just like universal manifestation ideas like “The Secret” can be erroneously boiled down into a blaming the person for their own unhappiness, the Life Plan idea has resulted in the same anxiety:


If I’m unhappy, I must be doing something terribly wrong.


Are we responsible for how we experience our lives?  OF COURSE.  There is so much you can do relieve the mental and emotional suffering you experience when life rains crap.


But where is the crap coming from?  Is THAT your Life Plan?


Maybe.  It depends on whether you’re a Planner, Winger or Rafter.


I’m going to split this up into three posts over the next three days, so keep checking back!  Today, we’ll cover Planners.


Everyone knows Planners.  You can spot them a mile away.  Planners never ask me to look at their life plan, they’re so intuitively plugged into what they want to do next that they have difficulty relating to people who experience a lot of uncertainty.


Planners have excellent saving habits (because they’re so plugged into the future and what they want to do) and Planners seem to have a near-limitless amount of energy.  They were born with a drive to burn through a Divine To Do List with a thousand little action items!


Planners are the ones who seem to get ALL the lucky breaks.  If they incarnated with a Life Plan to touch the lives of millions of people, that fame comes very easily to them – they’re always in the right place at the right time.


Wingers can get very discouraged if they compare themselves to Planners.


Here’s a secret about Planners:  they experience the same level of spiritual challenge as everyone else.  It doesn’t always LOOK like they’re struggling, which is another great Planner characteristic – on the ground floor, Planners can intuitively sense what they need to do next.


That doesn’t make it easy.


My grandfather’s mother was a planner.  She had many children and an extremely difficult life.  Yet, her whole life, she always “did what needed doing,” and she didn’t waste a lot of time agonizing about it.


Planners put so much detail into their life plans, they’re capable of setting up some of the greatest spiritual challenges on earth.   Their life plan may not actually be about their individual sentient consciousness.  In fact, a Planner can end up taking on a massive karmic burden (past-life baggage that needs to be worked out on the other side or in future lives.)


Planners often come in to make a big splash, and they often make huge sacrifices for the team.


They volunteer to provide this life experience so that others can be affected by their story.  They’re challenging, they’re controversial and many planners die in dramatic and shocking ways.


Who do you think may be a planner? 

Ep 11. Past Lives! LAUNCH PARTY!


I’ve been saving this one for our official launch!  Listen / Download it here:


Hey, if you have a smartphone, you can use your podcast app to subscribe to the feed:  http://www.joyfultelepathy.com/feed/

When you subscribe, the episodes will download as soon as you open your podcasting app.  This is what I do first thing in the morning, so my podcasts can update while I drink my coffee, and I can listen to new episodes as I commute into town.

Check out the awesome iTunes reviews:  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-joyful-telepathy-podcast/id832053274?mt=2

Thank you so much, you guys!

And please remember to join us TONIGHT at 6 pm Pacific time for the official Joyful Telepathy Launch Party!


Are the grammar police going to come take me away for excessive use of exclamation marks?  MAYBE!!  But I can’t help it!!!  I’m really THIS STOKED!!!!!

You know why I’m so stoked?  Because I have received nothing but support and encouragement from you all.  You guys keep me going, you drive me to keep talking, keep writing and keep working to improve all of my skills.  I love you all.  Thank you.


(Kids, this ^ is why you need to use photo editors in MODERATION!  It does reflect my mood at this particular moment.)

Bob Marley ~ Violence, and Ted Bundy

This morning, Marley came to visit me in the car.

“Good morning, Sweetness.  Do you remember our conversation last night?”

And then I did. 

I’ve become a fan of the Channeling Erik blog and check it several times a week.  The most recent series has been an interview with Ted Bundy, serial rapist and killer in his last incarnation.  You can read the entry here: 



The interview was really interesting, and it made a lot of intuitive sense to me… but what was really fascinating was the comment conversations attached to the post.  Some people were really bucking against the idea that Ted had a “contract” and that the women he killed had agreed to participate in this scenario before they came into life, in order to provide a learning experience for other people on earth, since the whole thing was publicized.

People were saying things like,

  • “The God that I know would not have someone contract to kill others to experience feelings of death. Such B.S. This guy was of the Devil. And I can’t believe he is walking on any planes of Heaven. He needs to be in Hell and burned out of extinction.”
  • “Was one lesson awareness, protection and self defense ability? That the notion people should be free to go about their business without danger and fear is unrealistically Utopian? That we require such atrocious things to awaken?  Or was it all planned, offender and victim alike? I intensely dislike even considering the latter. I want to believe our souls are far better than this; we need never sign up for the receiving end of such treatment to gain benefit. Sure, a lot was learned but for Bundy to say all the experiences of his victims were felt during his review; was it all so one-sided that dozens of people crossed his putrid path just for his benefit?”
  • “It is similar to the Jack the Ripper channeling in that the ultimate lesson is there should be NO NEED for anyone to come and be evil. All we need is love, understanding and a connection with God. Bundy should not just be excused for what he did, though. But his incarnation points to the apathy of the masses, which causes suffering in itself. “
  • “What happened to him as a baby makes me completely heartsick. I am filled with grief and rage that that could happen to such a new and innocent life. God I hate life as a human! What good is anything if the innocent suffer.”
  • I think this one hit me hardest:  “i feel that mr bundy s actions show god’s justice maybe it was the karma of those women. maybe they accumulated negative karma .”

During meditation last night, Kurt, Marley & I talked about Ted Bundy, and we tied in some of my past life experiences, particularly the very worst memory I’ve faced.  As difficult as it was to look upon these events, it was vitally important for my understanding and progression through the complex processes of learning through incarnation.  Right after sifting through the events surrounding this memory, I progressed to the soul bubbles conversations, and I’ll explain how that happened.  But first, I need to tell you what happened, and I’ll do it as delicately as possible.  It is necessary that I share some of the details.

A couple of weeks ago, Kurt takes my hands in meditation and asks, “Are you ready?”  I nod.  Next moment, there I am, in a cheerleader’s uniform.  It’s red and white, my hair is blond, curled, in a high pony tail, my eyes are blue.  I’m in a beautiful convertible car with my boyfriend, who is handsome and wearing a high school football jacket.  I’m in love, and very happy.  Everything around me screams 1950s, the chrome on the car, the fashion, the shoes, the signs around us.  (That’s important.)

My body is full of adrenaline.  It was game night.  We’re seniors, and off in his car celebrating.  I’m certain he’ll propose soon, though I don’t care if it’s tonight.  Tonight, we’re flying high on victory.  I decide tonight’s the night, and we have sex in his beautiful car.  I am content and happy.

Afterwards, my boyfriend is supposed to drive me home.  He doesn’t.  Instead, we go to an industrial area, like a large warehouse or a military hanger.  He says he wants to show me something.  I trust him, I’m still having a good time.

We go into the building and the rest of the football team walks out.  And then I understand, although I don’t want to believe.  No, he could not have done this to me.

The night ends with this cheerleader’s death.  It was accidental asphyxiation.  It takes me several meditations to be able to really look at what happened that night, and it’s tough for me to write about it now.   God, even looking at red cadillacs gets me shaky.

The first time I looked at this experience, when I came back to my logical brain, I thought, “Wait a minute.  That was the 50s in the deep south.  I was incarnated at this time in my previous life as my father’s grandmother in Germany.  How is this possible?”

And then George begins to show me how we’re not restricted to one soul, one body, one linear time experience.  At first, he showed this to me as my soul leaving my body in Germany, and entering the body of the cheerleader so that her spirit could go to heaven before any of this happened.  (This explanation has evolved as my understanding of soul bubbles expands.) 

She was a gentle spirit, she had lived a sheltered and innocent life.  She had not experienced many incarnations on this plane.  This was part of the horror of her death, that such a terrible thing could happen to someone so untouched by life’s tragedies.  For the people who knew her, they thought the experience must surely have destroyed her soul.

George explains to me that for that soul, it would have been a very long time in healing.  Her soul’s past life history contained no suffering of this type, which is why she was such an attractive person – she radiated light and love.  She only saw the good in people.  She had no concept of evil or ill-will.  This lesson was not one her soul required.

And yet, Kurt takes me above the experience the impact of this event upon the community, how it rippled outward over decades.

This was before DNA testing.  None of the young men involved in the death of this woman was caught.  Her body was found abandoned out of town, and an innocent man was convicted and executed for the crime.  He had a wife and a daughter.  Two of the guilty men (there were 12) committed suicide within 10 years.  They had wives and children who were affected.  One went on to become a serial killer (no it wasn’t Ted.)  Hundreds of people’s lives impacted there.  In observing the lives of the other nine men – several died of heart problems at a young age, due to the spiritual damage they inflicted upon themselves, which reflected in their physical bodies.  One lived to be 90 and never forgot his crime.  He came to accept responsibility for his part in that night shortly before his own death, and he entered heaven a truly humble soul.  Their experience was to live as guilty men. 

My part in the experience was to relieve the soul of the cheerleader the experience of this death in her own soul’s history.  Last night, George showed me how my soul bubble surrounded hers within her body during the experience, and so my soul absorbed the trauma.

That first night of looking upon this experience, I asked Kurt in horror, “Why?  Why would I go out of my way, leave a current incarnation just to absorb yet another rape experience?”  Kurt answers me by sharing a concept, which I will translate into my own words:

You have the capacity to absorb the trauma without harming the integrity of your soul experience.  By the very nature of your accumulated experience, you had the capability of relieving this soul of the heaviest burden of her chosen incarnation.  You returned to your body in Germany after eight hours and fell immediately ill. 

You lay in bed with fever and delirium for twelve days after this experience.  The fever processed the experience, and you returned to your life after that.  Had the original cheerleader’s soul  absorbed the trauma, she would have spent a long time in healing.  As a result of you stepping in, she was able to immediately progress her learning upon her arrival in Heaven.  She was not delayed by trauma.  And this last experience of violence reinforced your incredible spiritual strength.  He shows me a black, volcanic bolder that has absorbed the sun’s rays for many thousands of years, and become charged by its energy.

This is what brings me to post about this experience, in response to the Ted Bundy interview, and the subsequent comments.  Look at his impact upon the world from above, how its effects ripple outward; even now, these events are sparking a spiritual discussion and facilitating learning.

And perhaps the women involved were not being punished for having negative karma.  I don’t believe karma works that way.  Perhaps the suffering of the innocent is more complex, there’s something else there than simply a wrong and horrible event.  Perhaps even, the soul experience of the trauma inflicted upon the women by Ted was not absorbed by the same soul bubble that occupied their bodies prior to their violent deaths.  Perhaps some other soul moved in to spare them that, and to learn from it in their own way.

Understanding how one soul can absorb a particular experience from another body’s life progressed to our conversation about Soul Bubbles.  I never would have gotten there if I hadn’t been shown this memory.

Life is so much more than meets the eye.  We may never in this life understand the impact we have upon the world.


As I was puttering around household chores last night, Marley and I chatted amicably.  We talked for a while about feminism.  He said, “I believed, in life, in the sacredness of a woman’s body.  But I did not understand a woman’s experience – I believed I knew, but I understand now, I did not.  That was an expression of my ignorance, my blindness to a woman’s path.”  Then he said, “I almost never cleaned.”  I laughed.

This reminded me of something John said in life (I’m paraphrasing from memory here): When you’re a rock star, everything you do is met with cheers.  You can do the smallest thing and it’s wonderful.  When I am at home with my son, I work all day making this damn bread for dinner, and what do they do?  THEY EAT IT!  I’m lucky if I get a thank you!  No one offers to knight you for all your hard work. 

I always thought that was funny.

I asked Marley & Kurt last night why all of the musicians coming in to talk to me have been male.  In fact, most of my spirit friends are male, including my life-long guide.  Marley replied, “Because the male energy balances with your experience.”  Is it because I’m gay?  Do I have a male energy within that expresses as a gay woman?  He sends me the feeling Sort of and says, “It is not about sexual expression.  Look at the people in your life, the energy that surrounds you.”  I was reminded of John’s delighted observation, “You’re just surrounded by pretty girls, all day long!”  Marley continues, “Your spiritual learning must be in balance with your daily living.  You are surrounded by pretty girls by day, and handsome men by night!”  He throws his head back in laughter.

I do observe this settling affect when I’m talking with “the guys” as I’ve begun to think of them.  There is something calming, balancing about their male energies.  I see his point.  I ask about Sweetie, who has a female spirit guide and a whole female council / sisterhood surrounding and supporting her.  What about her balance?

“We are each given the balancing we require,” Marley chuckles.  Sweetie benefits from the feminine energies.  She needs them, in addition to her male spirit friends.

Marley begins to talk about the male experience on earth, building upon the things Kurt reflected about our culture while he was alive.

The male experience has been one of isolation, ignorance.  You may point to individual monsters like Ted Bundy.  Look from above the earth, look at the collective influence of the male culture.  See how this suffering experienced in the world could not be, if those perpetuating the suffering could experience empathy with those they affect.

The new male experience will be one of empathy.  This is the mantle on the shoulders of male children born into this time.  They will bear this well, they are heaven’s nobility.  Only the strongest incarnate on this plane, now.

This is the change you are seeing with your students (half of my students are male.)  You see how those men in your class are so open, empathetically, to the male impact upon the world, how they feel they must carry the burden of the male influence of the past.  This is the same how many white people feel they must carry the burden of the crimes inflicted upon the world by whites.  (He shows me immigration, land theft, slavery of black people and first nations’ people, oppression of the very poor by the very rich.  This is what I like to call “The Great White Guilt”.) 

You carry the burden of genetic memory, being white, and the burden of (shows me WWII) as your family was on both sides of the war.  (True, my mother’s family includes pilots who dropped bombs upon the city where my father’s parents lived.  My paternal grandfather was a member of the Hitler youth, and to this day carries a great pride in Germany.  Further back in our family tree are Vikings, notorious invaders.  My father takes great pride in his Viking heritage.)

Your responsibility, as you carry your burdens through life, is to contribute to the re-balancing of the earth.  This is why you take up this thread in the great tapestry of the planet’s ever-weaving history.  (This was all shown to me visually, so I’m paraphrasing.  It’s also meant to show criss-crossing timelines, history changing.)

It is also understanding, while you stand in privilege in this life, you bent under oppression in your past.  (He refers to another past life memory of mine being a black woman aboard a slaver’s ship, sick, shackled to a long chain that was attached to an anchor and thrown overboard.)

The burden of being born male, and shouldering the history of many thousands of years of imbalance between the male and female expressions on this earth, is so heavy some men coming into life may feel they will be crushed.  You will see a great shift in the culture of men.

(The rest of this is shown in feelings and “knowledge drop”) 

Be kind to each other.  Help each other.  Know this change is to restore balance to the earth, and not to shift the power balance to women in the manner men held this power for centuries.  This will be difficult for many people, male or female.

Last night, Sweetie asked Marley what he thought of Jamaica now, specifically the political oppression, the violence.  Marley replies by passing me whole concepts, which I’ll attempt to wrap in words:

Jamaica, like the whole world, is experiencing the violence of extreme poverty.  Poverty is a terrible form of violence.  Being poor is different than being oppressed in poverty.  It is the oppression of the spirit that is the violence.  Jamaica is no different than many other countries.

“Does the Rastafarian movement still have momentum in Jamaica?”

It is difficult for the people of Jamaica to become spiritual in this way (he shows me opening heart and mind chakras) when you are experiencing the cultural violence of poverty.  The Rastafarian way is gaining momentum in Amsterdam (laughs!) Australia, North America.  Some other parts of the world.  It is very small, and many people misinterpret the intent.

Well, Bob, how can we wrap up this entry?

How about with my song?  (I googled “Bob Marley Songs” and this one came up)

Buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta
There was a buffalo soldier in the heart of America
Stolen from Africa, brought to America
Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival

I mean it when I analyze the stench
To me it makes a lot of sense
How the dreadlock rasta was the buffalo soldier
And he was taken from Africa, brought to America
Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival

Said he was a buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta
Buffalo soldier in the heart of America

If you know your history
Then you would know where you’re coming from
Then you wouldn’t have to ask me
Who the ‘eck do I think I am

I’m just a buffalo soldier in the heart of America
Stolen from Africa, brought to America
Said he was fighting on arrival, fighting for survival
Said he was a buffalo soldier, win the war for America

Dreadie, woy yoy yoy, woy yoy-yoy yoy

Buffalo soldier troddin’ through the land, wo-ho-ooh
Said he wanna ran and then you wanna hand
Troddin’ through the land, yea-hea, yea-ea

Said he was a buffalo soldier, win the war for America
Buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta
Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival
Driven from the mainland to the heart of the Caribbean

Singing, woy yoy yoy, woy yoy-yoy yoy

Troddin’ through San Juan in the arms of America
Troddin’ through Jamaica, a buffalo soldier
Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival
Buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta


Soul Bubble Relations

I’ve had a few offline discussions about the John / Jesus connection.  This is the sort of thing you approach cautiously, because you don’t want to offend or frighten anyone by challenging their spiritual foundations, and you also don’t want to seem so utterly off your nut that people will completely write you off.

I didn’t post every detail in the Soul Bubbles entry because I wanted to let the ideas simmer and to meditate further, hopefully get some clarification.

When a friend emailed me and said that she believed John Lennon was Jesus in a past life, I thought, “Huh.  That’s not what he said.”  Not that this makes my friend wrong, not at all.  I’ll get to that.

In one of our first conversations with John, Sweetie remembers me asking him, “John, are you Jesus?”

He smiled and said, “No, my dear, but we are great friends.” 

For the record, I’d also asked the same question of Kurt.  He got this crooked smile, took a long drag off his cigarette, blew it out slowly for effect and replied, “No, but I’m a fan of his work.”

Which is one heck of a reply from Kurt Cobain.  Anyway, back to John.

This thing my friend had mentioned to me, it had this intuitive ring of truth.  I found myself drawn back to it, repeatedly.  One night, I asked John,

“John, is the Jesus incarnation part of your past life history?”

He laughs, a big bark of a laugh, flicks his nose and eyes me keenly.  “That, my dear, is the correct question!”

But he didn’t answer it.

That night George showed me the soul bubbles.  He showed me a bit more than I’d written about.  I asked George, “Show me Jesus.”

He showed me three bubbles, coming together.  This soul, made up of three linear-time, past-life histories, became the consciousness for the incarnation of Jesus.  George explained that for such a challenging life, three had to come together to give the soul’s history enough integrity through experience to withstand and perform the challenging teaching tasks as Jesus. 

Here’s the kicker.  After Jesus’ death, the soul bubble left his body and divided again.  Twelve bubbles emerged and embarked upon separate paths.  This makes sense to me; why should the experience of Jesus be confined to only one linear time path? 

Sheds a new perspective on the holy trinity, and the twelve disciples, eh?

So I have a working theory.  I haven’t received confirmation on this yet, so I don’t know if it’s precisely correct.  It may be one of those concepts that builds upon a foundation, and makes more sense later as more information comes though.  Sometimes, this information comes in stages, especially if it requires some adjustment before it can be integrated fully.

My work-in-progress theory is that John is a descendent of one of those twelve soul bubbles from Jesus.  It makes sense to me that if twelve consciousnesses (maybe more if there has been some more bubbling off of those twelve) are floating around with Jesus in their past-life roster, maybe they’re all taking turns being on “Jesus Duty” – answering prayers, giving hope and healing – while other bubbles continue to evolve, help and heal as new incarnations on our physical plain.

I also think that John & Kurt are related souls in some way, although I really have no idea how.  All I have on that is the two regarding each other with great love and respect, and I hear the word “Brothers.”  I don’t get a specific incarnation related to that statement.

It makes me wonder about other spiritual teachers and leaders.  How many soul bubbles are floating around out here, touching our lives, who can call upon the experience of Buddha? 

What about the Dalai Lama?  Every time he dies, a search is conducted for his reincarnation.  (Our current, 14th Dalai Lama suggests the next reincarnation will be female.)  How many soul bubbles emerge after each incarnation of the Dalai Lama?  How many merge before each reincarnation?

I’ll say that it does makes sense to me that world-famous musicians who have influenced millions spiritually over decades might have past lives as other spiritual leaders.  Certainly it makes sense they’d have past life histories as other famous musicians or artists.

It’s incredible.  The possibilities are truly limitless.

Soul Bubbles

2015 02 soul bubbles

There’s been some interesting questions arise from my own past life explorations and those of other people.  It seems that sometimes, memories of incarnations can overlap in time, which makes no logical sense initially.

It would be easy to assume that in the case of a past life recall overlap, that something about the recall must be wrong.  Surely, you can be incarnated only in one place at one time.  Right?

And what about the information psychics are pulling up about Jesus?  In the Jesus interview on the Channeling Erik blog, it came up that Jesus is currently incarnated as a woman.  It’s funny that so many people are awaiting the “second coming of Christ” – he’s probably been incarnated a few times since being Jesus.  Yet, he’s been incredibly widely available to anyone who asks for him, or seeks a personal relationship with him.  How is this possible?

There’s definitely this thing some call the “higher self”.  Imagine there’s this conscious, every-day part of yourself that experiences your life but also experiences this sort of amnesia, or a disconnection from heaven.  This is part of the point of incarnation.

At night as you sleep, or if you meditate and leave your body, you can connect with a “higher” part of your consciousness, a part that remembers.  Sometimes the lessons I learn while in this state I’m able to integrate into my every-day consciousness, and sometimes I just wake up knowing that I understand *something* new, some question was answered but I don’t remember what was asked.  It’s okay to forget what you know.

It is possible to communicate with the “higher self” of an incarnated individual, as I did with my father (the day my dog died.)  His day-to-day consciousness doesn’t remember the conversation, but our relationship changed subtly afterward, in a good way.

So arguably, it’s possible that spiritual leaders and seekers the world over have been accessing the “higher self” of Jesus.

But that doesn’t feel right to me… there’s something more going on there.

While meditating with George, I asked about Jesus.  “How is it he can be so completely available, yet incarnated at the same time?”

George smiles and says, “I’m going to show you something.”

He shows me a bubble in the vastness of space.  He says “Think of this as an individual consciousness.”  Then a second individual bubble appears.

The bubbles approach each other and then merge into each other, becoming a single bubble.  A single consciousness, with the shared histories and experiences.  Now this bubble goes into a body and becomes incarnated in a particularly challenging life.

“Occasionally, it is best to join together.”  He says this explaining that our previous lives prepare us for more challenging lives to come, different lessons building on what we’d learned before.  Sometimes you need more than a single stream of experiences through linear time.  Twice as many lives makes you twice as prepared for what’s to come.

Now the bubble inhabits the body through the incarnation.  In this time, there are not two consciousnesses individually residing within the body, there is only one, single being.

Now the body dies, the bubble leaves the body.  And the bubble splits off.  Into three new bubbles.

Each bubble contains the knowledge of the original two bubble’s past lives, as well as the most recent incarnation.

Each bubble is in a way, a completely new consciousness, but all the soul history is there.  Two soul histories overlapped.  Now this background of experience can move in three new directions, simultaneously.

And as past lives are recalled, it is possible to tap into two lives which overlapped from when the original two bubbles were separate.  Perhaps the three new bubbles will join together later, perhaps they will return to the Great Spirit (or the big bubble in the sky).  Perhaps they will remain individual bubbles for a millennia.

It challenges our ideas of our own individuality.  If this concept contradicts our ideas of ourselves, perhaps we feel frightened or threatened.

How do we define ourselves?  By our separateness?  By our experiences?

Takes a bit of mind-bending to get my head around.  It’s precisely the sea urchin lesson again, yet expanded:  how easily a new consciousness falls away from the source; how joyous, the return to the whole.

And how funny it is to google “soul bubbles” and find this term’s already been used in several video games, including Mario Bros. Partners in Time.