I know a lot of you beautiful folks were extra-sensitive as children, and I know at least two of you have extremely sensitive or possibly psychic children. Here’s an episode for the sensitive child in all of us… and I share the slightly embarrassing visualization technique my mother taught to me to control the nightmares I experienced as a child.
Episode 18: Psychic Protection for Children
As discussed in the Robin Williams thing, we prefer to wait a decent period of time before posting conversations with famous dead people. It’s been over a year now since Cory Monteith passed, and Sweetie feels comfortable enough now to contribute this conversation we had in the days following Cory’s death:
***
Sweetie:
I was looking for your new entry this morning but I couldn’t find it. But when you mentioned it this morning — Psychic Like Crazy — I thought, “Yeah. That’s good timing”. I drafted like… I think probably the craziest entry I have in a while about something that happened yesterday — I was going to talk to you about it but I figured you were too tired. Anyway, I think Corey Monteith has been talking to me. Even after everything, I’m still like… “No. This cannot possibly be happening, that makes no sense”.
Besides that, I was like, “I can’t possibly blog about this, he hasn’t even been dead for a week. It is way too soon. It would not be well received, at all”.
So, here’s what I wrote about that:
Corey Monteith has been talking to me.
I wasn’t sure at first, I thought, “No, surely he must be off healing somewhere, not talking to people yet”. He just shrugged. He’s ok; he wasn’t that attached to that identity and anyway, everyone else is sad about him dying, or is judging him about the way he died, or both. I don’t. I care, but I’m not sad. And I can hear him.
I thought he was Kurt Cobain at first. They’re similar somehow but their energy is different. I read the news shortly after it was released, a day or a day and a half after he died and I started thinking about success. I heard, “That’s why you have to get clear on what success is before you start pursuing it”. At that point I thought he was Kurt because as I read the article I realized that they had all these things in common — they were both drummers, their parents were divorced when they were about the same age, they used the same phrase to describe their drug use — “anything and everything” — both committed suicide.
There’s no proof of that. But even before the toxicology report was published I thought, “Rohypnol. He came home to die”. Rohypnol is an opiate, something they give people to get them off of methadone. Kurt mixed a bunch of them with champagne during one of his suicide attempts. Corey’s toxicology report came back — “heroin and alcohol”. It’s reportedly accidental, although the dangers of mixing alcohol and opiates are widely known.
Anyway he commented on how I was surprised that he had died — that he was surprised that I was surprised. He reminded me that a few years ago when I had pulled up my memories of having predicted some deaths around me, that I began to test out that skill in a way that felt safe. I was watching Glee and I kind of felt around. “Is one of these kids going to die? …Yes. Him. …Really?? Him??”. Yes.
That felt certain, for a moment. But weird. Weirdly certain. Then I forgot all about it until a day or so ago. Until he reminded me. I forgot about it because I hadn’t seen death on him after that. I do tend to forget those things. So, reminding me of things that I’ve forgotten is a pretty good way of convincing me that these things aren’t coming from me, but I was still like, “Ehh, I don’t know. I’m still not sure I’m not imagining this”.
So yesterday I was listening to this old Fleetwood Mac album on my iPod. And he pops in. “Oh hey! We did that on the show”. I’d actually totally forgotten that. I guess they did remind me that Fleetwood Mac are good. Or made me realize it.
And then Kurt pops in. “Courtney covered them first (referring to Gold Dust Woman). She deserves credit for making them cool”.
Corey’s like, “She covered them in the 90s… and they remained uncool”.
(pause) “I can’t believe I’m mouthing off to Kurt Cobain”.
(pause) “…about music”.
Kurt is projecting the energetic equivalent of a smirk or an eye roll. “Yeah. Well, I don’t see her (meaning me) bragging to her friends about watching your show”.
So I’m listening to this argument about who is responsible for re-popularizing this band. Who gets credit for that cultural contribution. I’m kind of surprised that Kurt wouldn’t just give him that one, honestly.
I was definitely more convinced after witnessing that though and after being reminded of yet another thing at random that I’d forgotten. I’m not sure why he’s hanging out, besides the fact that I’m a lost boy magnet. Maybe Kurt is mentoring him on how to be dead and famous, and talk to incarnated humans without freaking them out too much.
***
Kate: This is amazing sweetheart, and hilarious.
Yeah, I don’t think it would be well received either, at the moment. Better to let the dust on the teenagers’ Ouija boards settle. Does Corey care whether it’s shared or not?
It’s really funny.
***
Sweetie:
I don’t get the impression he really cares, honestly… I’m not getting a strong yes or no. The other day I was like, “Isn’t your autopsy today? What are you doing here?” He was just like, “Why would I want to go to that?”. He doesn’t seem that attached to any of it. But I wouldn’t want you fielding a bunch of angry comments by people feeling its insensitive or exploitive.
Kate:
Yeah, that’s the only thing… From the outside looking in, it would be tacky. I think a LOT of people were talking to Michael Jackson right after he died, and I’m sure he was talking to them – but just the timing of it makes you question their motivation.
There’s no reason to hurry it, especially since Cory doesn’t seem to care either way. Maybe hang on to this, and post it in a year, depending on what happens?
And yeah, why WOULD you go to your own autopsy??? YIIIIICCCCKKKK!!!
***
Sweetie:
I think I’ve found what it is, why he didn’t really need to recover in spite of the apparent trauma and why he knows all of these “spirity tricks” already — i think he’s just old. He’s probably been human a lot. I read on wiki that he was reading at a 4th grade level when he was 5. It’s like, “learning to read, again?, oh ok can we just fast track this?” I don’t think it’s his first suicide either. Maybe I saw him and went, “oh hey, I know you! …Yeah, you’re not sticking around, I’ll see you later”.
***
Kate: Yeah, that’s probably the most politically incorrect thing you could say!
So you see why we choose to hold back on the Celebrity stuff. What Sweetie & I actually tend to get could really be mis-interpreted, but I feel like it’s the most interesting part about talking to dead people – the quips, the shit they give each other, the jokes, the glib comments, the frank honesty.
So folks, I promise you I’ll give you the best we can do, and we’ll do it in the most respectful way we can.
Oh and in case you’re wondering why Cory showed up for Sweetie, without her prompting, within days of his passing, here’s what he said about it:
“I’ve always liked it here.”
Sweetie: You’ve been to Tofino?
And he rolled his eyes and said, “I’m from Victoria! Of course I’ve been to Tofino.”
Faith has become such an important part of my practice this past year. I had a little crisis of faith a while back, and I really needed the support of an intelligent universe. I’d say I’ve received it in spades, although not in a way that I could hold up to others as evidence. You know how that goes.
Most recently, I’ve been contemplating taking a really big leap. I’m still standing on the edge, looking down, thinking about it. I have strongly mixed feelings about leaps of faith. True, every time I’ve taken a leap of faith I’ve ended up better off… but sometimes it feels like you’re smashing against every rock on
the way down.
I was emailing a friend about it, and she said “The Universe has got your back.”
My response? Effing prove it, universe.
That afternoon, I wrote a long letter to the universe, as I tend to do when I feel like the Universe and I need to take a meeting. I outline all my concerns, my goals, what I need, what would be most awesome.
Then I toss it into the court of the Universe. Your move.
I can’t even remember what the reply was – Sweetie, do you remember? All I know is when I got the response, I immediately *knew* it was confirmation. Yes, the Universe has my back. So when I’m ready, all I have to do is jump.
Your move, Kate, quoth the Universe.
Sometimes we need some freaking evidence to lift up our faith in… ourselves? Deity? Angels? Guides?
I’m curious, what have you guys experienced as evidence that supported your faith in the things unseen?
I remember writing previously about a friend of mine who once said to me The Universe Doesn’t Care. It’s one way of looking at the world and its problems from a higher perspective. The universe doesn’t place values on good or evil, right or wrong, light or darkness. They are equal because they allow each other to exist in contrast. The universe, life, is a perfectly balanced equation.
One of the attendees in last Monday’s Intuitive Development class was said We will all become Nothing. Which is another way of saying the same thing. It led into a bit of a discussion, since I understand what he’s saying, yet the concept makes me uncomfortable. In my class, students and the facilitator all respect each other as potential teachers, and so while another woman admitted to having difficulty / being very uncomfortable with this idea of nihilism, the respect was there and no one was going to argue with him or impose their own ideas on him by telling him he was wrong.
I don’t think he’s wrong.
But there’s something about the concept of returning to the Big Bubble in the Sky, of losing my individuality, my soul’s history so completely, that frightens me.
This is what Bob Marley wants to talk to me about – how we are all one, we are all love, there is nothing to fear, we are all connected, we call came from heaven, we will all return, we will all join together, inevitably, as the cycle completes.
I find myself pushing Marley away a bit. I’m having a difficult time with this concept. I feel afraid, sometimes panicky almost, when I meditate on these concepts which Marley presents.
Because what significance is anything if it all becomes nothing?
I’m having flash-backs to my goth days when I wrote morbid poetry, struggled with suicidal thoughts and asked myself daily, “What’s the point?”
Maybe that’s where the fear comes from… that I came so close to taking my own life as a teenager, that I’m afraid to really dive into this idea.
Yet I’m drawn to it as strongly as I’m repelled by it. So I don’t feel like I’m moving forward at all.
I’m resistant. And there’s Marley, patiently waiting for me to engage with him again. There’s Kurt and George, helping me cope with the fear. There’s John, making me laugh.
Thank you Heaven, for my invisible friends.
I think this stumbling block I’m on is an expected landmark of spiritual development. If you’re reading this and you’re also walking a spiritual path, I encourage you to reach out for as much support as you can, because when you need it, it’s important to have those relationships established. You’ll find it.
Ha. Albie just popped in. He says,
Remember, fear is a temporary state of being. Fear is an energy of change. (Shows me a ball increasing vibration until it rolls forward.) Fear is a state to be acknowledged, welcomed. I had fear in my life. Fear drove me to America! Ha! That was the best thing which could have happened. Fear can be our guide. Be sure you listen to your fear, and do not fear your fear! Do not avoid these things which scare you, or you will not move forward. Instead, look upon them and use the fear energy to transform your life.
He shows me that, while experiencing fear, you can settle your “higher self” and get in touch with the message behind the fear. Fear is an alert chime. It says “Pay Attention!” It is a reason to ground yourself, to remain calm and to give your attention to the matter which inspired the fear; that matter is important.
Thank you Albie. You’re a dear friend. (He laughs.)
I’ve had a few offline discussions about the John / Jesus connection. This is the sort of thing you approach cautiously, because you don’t want to offend or frighten anyone by challenging their spiritual foundations, and you also don’t want to seem so utterly off your nut that people will completely write you off.
I didn’t post every detail in the Soul Bubbles entry because I wanted to let the ideas simmer and to meditate further, hopefully get some clarification.
When a friend emailed me and said that she believed John Lennon was Jesus in a past life, I thought, “Huh. That’s not what he said.” Not that this makes my friend wrong, not at all. I’ll get to that.
In one of our first conversations with John, Sweetie remembers me asking him, “John, are you Jesus?”
He smiled and said, “No, my dear, but we are great friends.”
For the record, I’d also asked the same question of Kurt. He got this crooked smile, took a long drag off his cigarette, blew it out slowly for effect and replied, “No, but I’m a fan of his work.”
Which is one heck of a reply from Kurt Cobain. Anyway, back to John.
This thing my friend had mentioned to me, it had this intuitive ring of truth. I found myself drawn back to it, repeatedly. One night, I asked John,
“John, is the Jesus incarnation part of your past life history?”
He laughs, a big bark of a laugh, flicks his nose and eyes me keenly. “That, my dear, is the correct question!”
But he didn’t answer it.
That night George showed me the soul bubbles. He showed me a bit more than I’d written about. I asked George, “Show me Jesus.”
He showed me three bubbles, coming together. This soul, made up of three linear-time, past-life histories, became the consciousness for the incarnation of Jesus. George explained that for such a challenging life, three had to come together to give the soul’s history enough integrity through experience to withstand and perform the challenging teaching tasks as Jesus.
Here’s the kicker. After Jesus’ death, the soul bubble left his body and divided again. Twelve bubbles emerged and embarked upon separate paths. This makes sense to me; why should the experience of Jesus be confined to only one linear time path?
Sheds a new perspective on the holy trinity, and the twelve disciples, eh?
So I have a working theory. I haven’t received confirmation on this yet, so I don’t know if it’s precisely correct. It may be one of those concepts that builds upon a foundation, and makes more sense later as more information comes though. Sometimes, this information comes in stages, especially if it requires some adjustment before it can be integrated fully.
My work-in-progress theory is that John is a descendent of one of those twelve soul bubbles from Jesus. It makes sense to me that if twelve consciousnesses (maybe more if there has been some more bubbling off of those twelve) are floating around with Jesus in their past-life roster, maybe they’re all taking turns being on “Jesus Duty” – answering prayers, giving hope and healing – while other bubbles continue to evolve, help and heal as new incarnations on our physical plain.
I also think that John & Kurt are related souls in some way, although I really have no idea how. All I have on that is the two regarding each other with great love and respect, and I hear the word “Brothers.” I don’t get a specific incarnation related to that statement.
It makes me wonder about other spiritual teachers and leaders. How many soul bubbles are floating around out here, touching our lives, who can call upon the experience of Buddha?
What about the Dalai Lama? Every time he dies, a search is conducted for his reincarnation. (Our current, 14th Dalai Lama suggests the next reincarnation will be female.) How many soul bubbles emerge after each incarnation of the Dalai Lama? How many merge before each reincarnation?
I’ll say that it does makes sense to me that world-famous musicians who have influenced millions spiritually over decades might have past lives as other spiritual leaders. Certainly it makes sense they’d have past life histories as other famous musicians or artists.
It’s incredible. The possibilities are truly limitless.
There’s been some interesting questions arise from my own past life explorations and those of other people. It seems that sometimes, memories of incarnations can overlap in time, which makes no logical sense initially.
It would be easy to assume that in the case of a past life recall overlap, that something about the recall must be wrong. Surely, you can be incarnated only in one place at one time. Right?
And what about the information psychics are pulling up about Jesus? In the Jesus interview on the Channeling Erik blog, it came up that Jesus is currently incarnated as a woman. It’s funny that so many people are awaiting the “second coming of Christ” – he’s probably been incarnated a few times since being Jesus. Yet, he’s been incredibly widely available to anyone who asks for him, or seeks a personal relationship with him. How is this possible?
There’s definitely this thing some call the “higher self”. Imagine there’s this conscious, every-day part of yourself that experiences your life but also experiences this sort of amnesia, or a disconnection from heaven. This is part of the point of incarnation.
At night as you sleep, or if you meditate and leave your body, you can connect with a “higher” part of your consciousness, a part that remembers. Sometimes the lessons I learn while in this state I’m able to integrate into my every-day consciousness, and sometimes I just wake up knowing that I understand *something* new, some question was answered but I don’t remember what was asked. It’s okay to forget what you know.
It is possible to communicate with the “higher self” of an incarnated individual, as I did with my father (the day my dog died.) His day-to-day consciousness doesn’t remember the conversation, but our relationship changed subtly afterward, in a good way.
So arguably, it’s possible that spiritual leaders and seekers the world over have been accessing the “higher self” of Jesus.
But that doesn’t feel right to me… there’s something more going on there.
While meditating with George, I asked about Jesus. “How is it he can be so completely available, yet incarnated at the same time?”
George smiles and says, “I’m going to show you something.”
He shows me a bubble in the vastness of space. He says “Think of this as an individual consciousness.” Then a second individual bubble appears.
The bubbles approach each other and then merge into each other, becoming a single bubble. A single consciousness, with the shared histories and experiences. Now this bubble goes into a body and becomes incarnated in a particularly challenging life.
“Occasionally, it is best to join together.” He says this explaining that our previous lives prepare us for more challenging lives to come, different lessons building on what we’d learned before. Sometimes you need more than a single stream of experiences through linear time. Twice as many lives makes you twice as prepared for what’s to come.
Now the bubble inhabits the body through the incarnation. In this time, there are not two consciousnesses individually residing within the body, there is only one, single being.
Now the body dies, the bubble leaves the body. And the bubble splits off. Into three new bubbles.
Each bubble contains the knowledge of the original two bubble’s past lives, as well as the most recent incarnation.
Each bubble is in a way, a completely new consciousness, but all the soul history is there. Two soul histories overlapped. Now this background of experience can move in three new directions, simultaneously.
And as past lives are recalled, it is possible to tap into two lives which overlapped from when the original two bubbles were separate. Perhaps the three new bubbles will join together later, perhaps they will return to the Great Spirit (or the big bubble in the sky). Perhaps they will remain individual bubbles for a millennia.
It challenges our ideas of our own individuality. If this concept contradicts our ideas of ourselves, perhaps we feel frightened or threatened.
How do we define ourselves? By our separateness? By our experiences?
Takes a bit of mind-bending to get my head around. It’s precisely the sea urchin lesson again, yet expanded: how easily a new consciousness falls away from the source; how joyous, the return to the whole.
And how funny it is to google “soul bubbles” and find this term’s already been used in several video games, including Mario Bros. Partners in Time.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how John relates to other incarnated people, and how Kurt seemed to change a lot in how he related to me.
I think a lot of it has to do with how we relate to them, first.
I’ll be honest – when Kurt first came in, I thought he was kind of a pain in the ass. I didn’t really know anything about him, and I expected him to behave a lot like how the pain-in-the-ass 15 year old boys behaved in middle school. Sweetie has a knack of getting straight to the sweet, innocent inner boy with these types of people – one of her childhood friends is a huge drug addict who generally makes a colossal ass of himself in public, and his hobbies include a lot of life-threatening, thrill-seeking activities. I can’t relate to this guy at all.
Yet, over the years, he never forgets Sweetie’s birthday. He always sends her a message or a note, tells her he loves her. And that’s endeared him to me. At least, I understand their relationship a bit more.
So at first, I kind of saw Kurt as another one of Sweetie’s lost boys. I had *no idea* who he really was. When Sweetie first called Kurt in, I swear I saw him as an angel descending – wearing a white linen tunic thing (always with pants though!) with longish, blond, very clean wavy hair. I asked “Who’s Kurt Cobain?”
“Oh, he was that guy in Nirvana. You know, Smells Like Teen Spirit?”
And instantly my image of Kurt changed. I thought he’d changed his presentation so I’d recognize him – he presented in a faded plain shirt, beat up combat boots, stringy, unwashed, dirty-blond hair. Sadness, such sadness. Ah yes, I remember this Kurt Cobain. I remember when Nirvana was everywhere.
But now I’m rethinking this shift. Perhaps Kurt just tuned into my expectation of him in that moment, showed me who I thought he was. He reflected my image of him back at me. He even comedically humped things around the house, like he was some crazed rocker on E, who couldn’t help but rub up against soft pillows, table legs, John’s head, whatever, in a stoned-out crazy way. I just relayed his antics to Sweetie, chuckled / rolled my eyes and went about my day.
He called me “bitch” a lot. In a playful way, but annoying nonetheless. I finally asked him to stop, it was pissing me off so much (something Kurt can’t resist, really). He and Sweetie were doing their own private work, so I figured he was there for Sweetie alone, and it made sense to me at the time.
And then one night, he stepped forward as my teacher during meditation. In this state of meditation, I had set all of my personality, my expectations of myself and others aside. I saw the angelic Kurt again. I saw a gentle guy who loved people. Who wanted to help. Whose intentions were good and earnest. And these meditative journeys into my soul’s past are changing my perspective on everything. This is the most transformative period in my life. So far.
With Kurt’s birthday present to me, I’ve become a Nirvana fan. I’ll listen to the four albums we have back to back. I find it relaxing, which is so odd, considering the intensity of the sound and lyrics.
The only song Kurt discourages me from listening to is “Rape Me”, from the In Utero album. Whenever it comes along in the playlist I’ll hear, “Skip this shit. You don’t need it.” Sometimes the track will skip on its own. Thing is, I like that song now. Yesterday, while driving to work, I got stubborn. “I WANT to listen to it, damn it!” In the first verse of the song, the adapter to the speaker fell out of the charger. The music stopped. “Don’t make me break your ipod.” Big sigh. “FINE.” And I skipped the track again.
That was actually a really impressive move, looking back on it. It’s not easy to move things like that.
Since we started our meditation together, Kurt has often called me “Babe” or sometimes “Angel” – just as he’s addressed Sweetie. I started doing Kurt research and found out what a big feminist he was during his last life. Kurt’s shown me a lot in my own soul’s history around rape-specific violence. Last night, from the perspective of a man… understanding how this man (me in a past life) got to a point where he could see women only through eyes of possession and hate. You have to see yourself with hate first. This sort of violence turns back on the perpetrator, and it ripples ever outward. Violence has saturated our culture.
This sort of learning is a very intimate experience, and I feel this super-close friendship-type relationship build between us. He likes to call me “little sister” sometimes, in a way that feels like irony. Whenever I’ve asked to see if there’s a past life connection between Kurt & I, I always see him as a young boy, and I hear “little brother” – so it’s like the younger brother calling his big sister “little sister” because here he is, taking care of me where once, I looked after him.
I remember a Courtney Love quote, on how needy Kurt could be: That guy can’t catch a cab by himself!
John too has talked about how high maintenance he could be in relationships. When Yoko kicked him out, he said she was right to do so.
When we tapped into John and later with Kurt, both spirits powerfully communicated the emotions they experienced in their life, and deep empathy for those they left behind after death. The emotion around John’s death was so strongly one of injustice, of a sense of wrong, I thought that perhaps John had died when he wasn’t meant to go. Now I understand this as John sharing his overwhelming empathetic experience with the emotion created in response to his death. He expressed terrible, torturous sadness at being separated, no ripped, from his family.
Kurt has also shared with touching intensity, the feelings of a young boy’s abandonment by his family, how he made a choice to strike out on his own (couch surfing, living the friends’ families) rather than submit to the foster system. Being “in the system” terrified him. “If my family, people who were supposed to love me, could treat me like that, what would strangers do to me?” He also said, with heartbroken vulnerability, “Mothers are supposed to look after their kids.”
So why were our first conversations with Kurt & John so fraught with flawed human emotion? Aren’t they spirits now? Should they be above this, or over it? (Huh, heaven is “above” – I wonder if that’s where this expression originated?) Yet it seemed, in those moments of communication, that the pain was still real and present.
I asked Kurt about this the other day. He says, “Well when you relate to us as tragic heros, that’s what we become to you. When I relate to you as Kurt the kid, all that experience is still there for me to draw on, like, you just tap into it with the conversation. It’s the best way to communicate, sometimes.”
I understood that it’s not like Kurt or John are *still* hurting right now. They have this as part of their soul’s experience. We all have past hurts we can tap into. I was reminded that John & Kurt have also been many other people. When I talk to Kurt, Kurt is there. When I talk to John as John, there he is. Occasionally, he’ll show up as figures from his other lives as well – and when this happens, I sometimes forget that there’s any connection between the two characters at all.
It reminds me of my Sea Urchin Lesson, which I’ve been returning to almost daily:
How fragmented our perspective, how fractal-like our bodies and our soul-journeys can be. How easily a new consciousness breaks away from a single mind. How joyous the return to the whole.
When you look at a sea urchin, what do you see? A soulless plant? A single animal? A collection of many, linked Borg-like minds? A soul collective?
When you look at John Lennon, who do you see?
So I have recently gotten my paws upon Lynn Grabhorn’s book “Planet Two.” I found it in the spirituality section of a hugely magnificent second-hand bookstore, right next to Machaelle Small Wright’s “Behaving as if the God in all things mattered” – which is a book that’s been on my list for a long time. It’s often referred to in the “first generation” of animal communication books written by Sonya Fitzpatrick and Penelope Smith.
Well right off, Lynn starts to talk a lot about Machaelle, which tickled me that I bought both books together. Actually, I heard John’s little whisper “Oh, get those two, they’re good.”
There’s a gentle, cosmic good humour in that John Lennon himself is mentioned more than any other person in Planet Two (except Machaelle, perhaps.) It’s so funny that John guides me to what I’m calling “his books”. Not only is John mentioned particularly, but the first mention is Lynn talking about the book that John wrote himself via medium Jason Leen “Peace At Last”.
Notice how close in name they are? Jason Leen and Linda Keen? Huh.
“Peace at Last” is a book I haven’t read yet, but Lynn uses it as a perfect example of death experience, how John describes his death in that book.
Later in “Planet Two” Lynn starts talking about things that John has brought up to us directly, and really, Kurt has shown us as well. Lynn talks about three “earths” existing in the same space (more or less) on different frequencies. Well that’s another way of explaining what Kurt showed us in the angel training entry: three beads on a string, now turn the string and see how three beads overlap and look like one.
It actually occurs to me that this “angel training” as I’ve been calling it, could also be another way describing this energetic ascension people are talking about so much in these 2012 days.
John has also talked about the “White Brotherhood”, which he is either in or working with very closely. We asked about whether there was a sisterhood and he said, “Of course!” and shared a lot of details about that, which, I can’t remember because I was in “medium mode”. Thank goodness for sweetie, here’s her recollection:
Well, that the White Sisterhood is a parallel to the White Brotherhood (apparently the girls can get boisterous, like at the Women’s Temple 😉 )
Emily and Meret Oppenheim I *think* are in it, and Benazir Bhutto. There was a woman with a viking helmet (maybe a Norse goddess?) and a fighter pilot who may or may not have been Amelia Earhart. They’re my council, essentially. The women’s council. They’re basically one and the same.
From the daytrippin’ website’s description of John’s “Peace at Last”:
After explaining the seven different heavenly realms, she explains that since John was such a powerful spokesman for the world, he is being asked to continue his work with humanity. She assures him that the world will listen. He learns that the earth is about to awaken, but that first, humanity must awaken and arise. He will be one of the spirit beings to interact with people on earth to get this message across.
Which is basically the message in Planet Two, and basically the message we’ve been getting from John from my first conversation with him in November 2011. (And BY THE WAY! I just noticed the “7 different levels of heavenly realms” again – which would be the third psychic who’s heard from John that there are 7 levels to heaven.)
I’ll tell you some of the strangeness that’s settled into my heart as truth: I believe I’ve been tapped to help people with the transition that’s happening. This transition definitely involved raising our vibrations, and a part of this is becoming more psychic. Everyone. And in order for people to become more psychic, more comfortable with psychicness, to be healthy and psychic in this world as we all struggle with “ascension” (raising our vibes, evolving, remembering who we are etc.) we need teachers. Me. I’m one of them.
Since I started talking to John, George and Kurt, I’ve put my complete trust in them, and they have not and will never lead me wrong. Aside from these friends, I have my own spirit guides and relatives, who are all milling about in the background, but I don’t seem to converse with them as much as I do John, George & Kurt. They got me to the concert at the Humanity gallery, thanks to which I made the contacts I needed in order to work in that space. Last weekend was the second “psychic Saturday” where I give free readings to those who need it. Every. Single. Person. Who showed up on Saturday. Is struggling with psychic awakening. Every. Single. One.
All of them cried when I told them they’re already psychic. Already doing it. There are things they can learn which will make it easier and better.
Most of them carry with them burdens from past life trauma, and burdens from childhood which put them in conflict with their psychic abilities and experiences right now.
Just in time, I’m launching my first class, “Reconnecting with your Intuition”. Every time I reach out my hand, asking for help with this mission Heaven is offering to me, every. Single. Time. The person I’ve reached out to has taken my hand in friendship.
Dear, dear Linda Keen has offered her full support and blessing for me to teach the lessons in her books, Intuition Magic and the soon to be published sequel, Intuition Magic: 25 Years Later. (Linda, I hope I’m not spilling the beans on that one.) If you’re in self-study mode, you can get her books from amazon.com.
I tell you, the first email reply I received from Linda jerked the tears straight out of my eyes, and I had no idea why. It’s just one of those physiological, gut-wrenching reactions you have when your body is telling you something is true, correct, right.
The story of how and why I contacted Linda is pretty neat: I didn’t contact her over the “john thing”. I figured she must have had hundreds of people contact her since the book was published to say that they’d been talking to john too, and that most of them would be crazy. I don’t know why I went there, but that’s what was going through my mind at the time.
I contacted Linda because *I* had been contacted by a spirit visitor, an older, classy, dignified lady with a warm heart. I thought her name was “Madeline” but I have a difficult time hearing these things correctly, so it could have been something close to how that would sound if heard over a muffled microphone, or shouted over a great distance.
Anyway, Madeline shows up in my living room one night, and I’m very tired, so I ask her to please go away and come back tomorrow if she would like to talk with me. She showed up again, very politely, and waited until we had finished with talking to John before I could greet her.
Madeline explained that she’d come for help because she used to be able to talk to her grandchildren (picture of grandkids pointing up at grandma and playing with her ethereal presence.) But now her grandchildren are older and no longer see her. (Sad feelings shared.) They need the psychic school I’ve been thinking about. I should contact “the woman who wrote John’s book”. So I promised I would, and I sent Linda Keen an email out of the blue.
That was probably one of the stranger emails I’ve sent in my lifetime. It basically went, “Hi, you don’t know me but a spirit named Madeline said I should contact you about a psychic school.” It turns out that Linda had developed her own psychic skills by attending a school in Oregon (did I get that right?) in the 60s. She then moved to the Netherlands where she and her husband established a school for intuitive development that is still running today.
I had NO IDEA Linda had written any books other than Across The Universe / John Lennon in Heaven.
So yeah, Linda knows how to teach what I’m teaching, and she’s been doing this for years. She was the perfect person to contact about all of this. It did come up pretty quickly that my sweetie and I have been talking to John too, and we’re beginning to realize how much all of these strings are getting tied together, and how much is John is doing the actual tying! I am so grateful for Linda and John’s help in all of this.
In Linda, I feel like I have the experienced support I need in order to muster the audacity to teach psychic arts at the tender young age of 33. I mean, come on. Isn’t this the sort of thing you teach as a dusty, wrinkled, half-mad oracle who has one foot in heaven? I’ve barely come out as psychic in the community and now I’m teaching? But I swear, that’s the way Heaven wants it. It’s pretty darn clear to me, and I feel so taken care of right now.
On June 12th, I’ll be a guest on Karen Hagar’s radio show, “Out of the Fog”. I’ll be talking about animal communication among other things, and doing animal readings on the air. We’re all hoping that this show will result in a few more paying clients for me, which will help in a multitude of ways.
I initially contacted Karen Hagar before I’d received a reply from Linda. I was casting around for a teacher, and I’d asked Karen if she’d be interested in allowing me to listen in on her classes in exchange for some animal communication? She got me on the phone and told me she hadn’t been “guided” to teach me because I am beyond her scope of teaching. (Holy crap.) She then told me I’d be a great radio guest, based upon our conversation, and she invited me on the show! She said that doing on-air readings could help with the cash flow shortages we’re experiencing right now. I feel Karen’s warmth and positive attitude whenever I think of her.
Yesterday, John came to visit me at work. He said “So love, are you ready to go to the next level of work?”
“Uh, sure. Yes. What’s the next level?”
“Well you will soon be done with the hospital work. You’ve done what you needed to do here. A lovely job you did with those two, by the way. (Two spirits I’d crossed over yesterday.)
“Soon you will be travelling a lot. Are you ready for that?”
“Yes. I need Heaven and you guys to take care of my finances though. I need enough money to pay for our rent, our food. I’ll need a better car soon, especially if I’m travelling more. You take care of the money, I’ll do Heaven’s work. I’m ready.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“You’re positive?” He smiles, the warmest, loving smile. At this point I see him clearly in a purple embroidered jacket, like a smoking jacket but snazzier. It looks like it has long tails. He has sort of 80s hair, a la David Bowie, dark, shortish, kind of spikey. He’s wearing his round, rose-coloured glasses.
“Yes. Do it. I’m ready.”
So off we go then. I’m not sure exactly what it is that I’ve agreed to, but I trust John, I trust Heaven to take care of Sweetie, me and my animal family.
In an effort to “roll out the crazy” gradually, I’ll sometimes hold back ideas until they start to make sense in a larger context. One of these ideas is Angel Training.
During one of the first readings I did for Sweetie, she asked, “What is the point of this? Why am I here, living this life?”
The answer fell out of my mouth immediately: “It’s part of your angel training.”
I’d run into the idea of angel training once before, when I looked into the deaths of two paramedics in our community who died together in an accident. Those two were in angel training together, and they still are helping the hospital. They’re usually riding along in the ambulances, comforting the injured, assisting in elevating them above their painful injuries, providing calm and clarity of mind to the newbie paramedics who took their place. They assist in crossing over those whose bodies die before they can reach the hospital, and they occasionally prod awake a fatigued highway driver.
According to her guides, Sweetie was a very reluctant participant in this incarnation. She had a long list of demands prior to even considering incarnation, which included the constant company of white cats. She ultimately consented to this incarnation after her teacher, “Brian,” gently pointed out that if she truly desired to progress any further in her angel training, she really needed one more incarnation on earth.
So Sweetie is definitely on her last incarnation on earth. Even now, she holds herself above and apart from the world. She gets frustrated and angry quickly when topics like pollution arise, and she’s observing a broad judgmental side of herself that tends to simply condemn this whole planet’s fate.
It’s fucked, basically, so why would anything she could say, do or create make the slightest difference?
This has been her spiritual struggle, yet slowly, painfully, she’s progressing through it. The lessons from John, over the years, have been helping both of us (some are chronicled in the John Lennon Friday entries) and now Kurt has come forward to continue the discussion.
Here’s an email I received from Sweetie talking about a recent conversation with Kurt:
Hey Love,
Here’s a synopsis of the ideas I was talking about this morning. Plus a couple of other things I was thinking about:
1) Kurt’s been working on breaking down some of my cynicism. Sometimes he talks to me, sometimes he plays his songs in my head, sometimes he drops whole ideas on me. He may also be priming my mind while I’m sleeping to better receive these ideas while I’m awake. Some of the conversations I’ve had with him lately:
a) I was in the car listening to Pennyroyal Tea. I wondered if emotional turmoil is a necessary part of angel training.
He said, “No. Not necessarily. I mean there are things you want to try to learn while you’re here but it’s only as easy or as hard as you need it to be. You define your own experience”
Later “Lounge Act” came on, and these lines jumped out at me:
Don’t – tell me what I wanna hear
Afraid of never knowing fear
Experience anything you need
I’ll keep fighting jealousy
’til it’s fucking gone
Which is exactly the same point, just stated another way. So, he understood this while he was alive. I think he was more spiritual than most people realize.
b) I’m pretty sure he has wings now. Although he doesn’t usually show up in that guise. Is he done angel training? I swear he gave me a hug the other day and actually folded a wing around me.
(My answer to Sweetie: The first time I saw Kurt, I’m pretty sure he had wings, and he definitely ascended from “very high up” which is a sensation familiar to me when talking with “known” angels, such as the one who watches over my mother. Some psychics say that angels have the ability to appear as incarnated humans at times when needed; maybe, at first, we were seeing Kurt as he was in his most recent life, because that’s how we were able to best connect and relate to him.
Now we’re able to open ourselves up to other ideas of who Kurt has become since he left his last incarnation. It’s similar to talking to John as John Lennon for a most of our conversations, even though we’re aware that he is not literally the person known as John Lennon, but the spirit who experienced the life of John Lennon, among other incarnations and other lessons on the other side. Back to Sweetie’s email:)
He told me my back sometimes aches where my wings should be. He told me that I shouldn’t sleep in my bra because my scapulae need a chance to spread out.
He’s taken to calling me “angel” lately, where before he was calling me “baby”. Occasionally “bitch”, but only if he was feeling jokey.
c) With regard to the things we were talking about this morning, he’s really been appealing to a spirit of rebellion and nonconformity in an effort to get me to look at the world differently. Really trying to impress upon me that it is not necessary to go along with what everyone else is doing, not necessary to accept their version of The Way Things Are, and that I basically don’t need to go along with their bullshit. Not only do I not need to participate in bringing about their vision of the world, but I don’t actually have to live in it, either. I don’t have to suffer the effects of their actions.
Just think of politics as one big fucking pep assembly that you’re better off skipping.
Think of World History as a class that you might as well drop out of, because at worst it’s a bunch of lies, and at best it’s one person’s version of the truth.
He dropped the idea of divergent realities on me as I was going to bed after watching the Bigfoot documentaries, after John told us the Neanderthals were still here. It just suddenly all made sense. The Neanderthals split off, the Atlanteans split off — that’s why we can’t find a trace of them. Everything that goes along with their cultures exists on their vibration level, as well. They probably don’t experience our culture either.
So, if that’s true, then we can probably split off as well, and choose not to experience the effects of the military-industrial complex and it’s agendas.
But it sounds totally crazy, right? Isn’t that just denial, refusing to see the world as it actually is?
(I think we’re on to something here. It’s common for ghosts, earthbound spirits who refuse to move on after their last incarnation, to see the world around them as it was when they were alive. They would see the old ranch where now stands a Toys R Us.)
He described reality to me as being really fragmented, not this cohesive thing that we tend to perceive it to be when we’re incarnated. It’s actually a fractal, it’s the whole and its parts, like the urchin consciousness.
(Recently, we had the opportunity to observe, communicate with and then eat a live sea urchin. Urchins have been a food staple in our region for hundreds of years. It was amazing talking with this creature, which could best be described as a collective consciousness like the Borg from Star Trek. In the picture of the urchin, see how each spine waves individually? Each spine is an awareness. As the fisherman broke apart the living collective to access the roe, the edible part of the urchin, I was braced for the urchin to feel pain.
But it didn’t happen. All that happened was the collective consciousness separated into its parts – now there were half a dozen singular collectives where once there was one. The message came “Put us back!” and the image of returning some of the pieces to the water formed in my mind. I understood that this would seed future whole urchins. I also understood that when many hundreds of sea urchins are together, they form a singular collective consciousness too, almost like one huge animal. The moment a single urchin is removed by a human, otter, crab etc for food, this portion of the collective is simply unplugged from the larger one, and simply becomes it’s own consciousness. It was so fascinating and instructive, talking to urchins. It makes you wonder about the sheer nature of consciousness. Back to Sweetie’s email:)
We each have our own tiny realities, and there are larger shared realities. And there is a lot of crossover but it’s not exactly one immutable thing. He showed me a string of translucent beads, three in a row. And then showed them to me end ways so they overlapped. That’s the world, in essence. It looks like one thing, but that’s where divergence can happen.
I’ve had Stay Away in my head often, lately. Or part of it:
Monkey see, monkey do
(I don’t know why)
Rather be dead than cool
(I don’t know why)
It’s serving as a good reminder that other people’s bullshit is other people’s bullshit.
d) He’s been talking to me about art, understanding that part of the problem I’m having is in seeing art as an act of altruism in a world that does not wish to save itself. He said it’s okay, that I don’t need to fix that. I don’t need to be a perfect spiritual being, I don’t need to love everyone in the world and want to help them. I don’t need to want good things for everyone in the world, including Mike, Monsanto, and the Bush family. I don’t have to be altruistic. I don’t even need to be happy — although he’d *like* it if I were happy — it isn’t necessary. The only thing that matters is that I know how special I am, that I matter, and that any art that I might choose to make is okay.
So, I thanked him for that.
2) Yesterday, someone convinced me to read Oscar Wilde’s “The Picture of Dorian Gray”. (It’s a story about a man and his vanity — he becomes obsessed with his own portrait, in which his image is mysteriously aging). I’m not really sure who thought I should read it. But anyway.
It begins with a 4 page essay of Wilde’s, in which he describes the role of the artist in our society.
Wilde says that art is a mirror: it’s completely objective and can only be judged on the basis of its form rather than its content. Essentially it’s the viewer that is the spectacle; people who dislike “realism” art can’t stand to see themselves reflected back, people who dislike “romanticism” art are vain, and aren’t interested unless they’re seeing themselves reflected. It actually reminds me of Yoko’s work, now that I think about it. Perhaps it was John who thought I should read it.
But I’m only in partial agreement. I was like, “Okay. Let’s suppose I accept the premise that the artist is creating a 100% objective reflection — which I don’t, but I’ll set that aside for now — the artist is still an editor. He or she chooses to represent or omit things as necessary. It’s impossible to represent everything; there needs to be a focus. That focus creates a subjective reality. You can choose to paint a rose bush growing beside a dumpster and omit the dumpster, or paint the dumpster by itself.”
And then I heard a bit of a smug, “Aha! See, you *do* care about the artist’s role in society. You *do* want to participate in this, after all”.
Ah, crap. Well, touche. All right, you got me. Busted. :p
Wilde’s take is that art is neutral. There’s no “good” art or “bad” art, “moral” or “immoral” art. Art just is. Everything else is criticism.
I think we still live in a world where the powers that be are afraid of what might happen if people wake up to the idea that spirituality is simple, accessible and powerful. As though spirituality can be 2 of these things at once, but not all 3:
Simple and accessible, but not powerful. Like Yoga at the Y.
Accessible and powerful, but not simple. Like a Course in Miracles.
Simple and powerful, but not accessible. Only for the Buddha. Or maybe some Tibetan monks.
Yet on a gut level, we know that spirituality truly is Simple, Accessible and Powerful. The trick is truly, whole-heartedly taking in this knowledge with certainty.
Yesterday I went to the post office and picked up the two books I’ve been anxiously awaiting: Linda Keen’s Intuition Magic, and her other book Across the Universe with John Lennon. The edition I received was the original title: John Lennon in Heaven.
Sweetie and I have been absorbed in, I’ve been reading it aloud. John is hanging out as I read it, and he sometimes brings a few of his spirit friends to listen to his book.
One thing I’ve got to say first and foremost: Linda has brass. Holy shit, the guts it must have taken to publish a book like this twenty years ago. Wow. You know what’s really amazing? How much of the same information we both received, independently and decades apart.
I haven’t finished reading the book yet, so this entry will be about the first 2/3rds of it. As I read it, I have a pad of paper beside me and I make notes of the synchronicities and the verifications as they come.
The first note I have on my pad here is that John was psychic. I talked about this in the Mind Games entry. Linda talks about this too.
Another point comes up in one of Linda’s first deep meditation conversations with John, when they talk about the levels up to heaven. Linda asks how many levels? John holds up seven fingers. This is the same answer I got on the beach when talking with John about the same thing – he got me to start drawing lines in the sand, and told me to stop when I got to seven.
A point which really amazed me was something I *hadn’t* written about because, frankly, I thought it was just too “out there” and I was afraid of putting people off. One day while I was skimming through a playlist of classical music, which contained a great deal of Mozart, I said idly to Sweetie, “I think John was also Mozart in a past life.”
Well damned if Linda didn’t write the same thing! See what I mean about brass? I didn’t have the guts to write about that one!
In Linda’s detailed conversations between John and her spirit guide Basil, she gets into a lot of the same things I’ve been thinking and writing about. The nature of the universe, of the reality we experience, of humanity.
One point that I wrote down is, “The ego wants everything explained rationally.” Which is true, and yet this becomes a block for us eventually. I’ll tell you about my nighttime lectures in another entry, but the short of it is that George has been taking my hand as I go to sleep and gently guiding me to a place where I learn about all these questions. I often wake up at 4 am when I return to my body, and it seems like from 4 am to 9 am is when I actually get some sleep.
This week it looks like I’ve been sleeping 12 – 14 hours a day, but I know I’m out of body for most of that, learning the answers to the burning questions I’ve had. I know I’ve learned a lot about the answers – even though I can’t really remember them in my waking state, the questions themselves seem answered. I don’t feel compelled to dwell upon them. I think I’ve come to understand that “rational” is only in the context of our incarnated, conscious brains, and that there is a lot of learning that can happen out of body.
This is where Linda’s book is so amazing for me, it seems like she’s been on the exact path of learning I’m walking right now.
Additional parallels with Linda’s conversations with John and our own are simple details of John’s family life and John’s adamant statement that he wouldn’t wish fame upon his worst enemy. To Linda he’d added, “Unless they thrive upon vanity, stress and paranoia.”
In reading Linda’s confirmation that John was also Mozart, it opened up an answer to a problem I’ve been mulling in my mind but hadn’t really expressed: If we express our spiritual selves so many times through so many lives, why am I running into characters like John and Kurt who happen to identify so strongly with their most recent life?
Well this is because this is how their spirit can best communicate with ours – this is how we recognize them, and are most open to receiving them. With Sweetie, she’d initially addressed the spirit that was John Lennon by that name, and so he related to her in this way. I met John through Sweetie, and so this is how he presented to me as well.
In one of Linda’s conversations, John expressed himself simply as a ball of light, sitting in a lawn chair drinking a glass of beer. It is more difficult to have a conversation with a ball of light. It’s much easier to relate to a spirit as their recognizable human form.
I’ll digress a bit here: I’ve said before that I have never been so much a pop music fan. I knew who Kurt Cobain was through cultural osmosis – his music surrounded me when I was a teen. I was vaguely aware of him, along with a few other bands and names like Prodigy, Tea Party and Trent Reznor.
Sweetie and all my friends often teased me about this in disbelief. “What were you doing when you were a teenager anyway? How is it possible you grew up without this music?”
Well, I’ll admit, I was a classical music nerd. As I’ve said before, I’ve had difficulty with the complex sounds of punk music which was popular in my youth – If I was stuck somewhere loud, crowded or booming this music, I could become overwhelmed to the point of tears or panic attack. Beethoven was my Cobain. (Sweetie laughed when I said this, but just listen to his music – he was a badass, a subversive. His 5th speaks to his struggle with his emotions and mental illness.)
While my friends head-banged their way through the grunge movement, I listened to Bach, Schubert and Mozart. When I saw the movie “Amadeus” I found it heart-wrenching and became a bit obsessed with Mozart after that.
I think if John had shown himself to me as Mozart, I would have shut the door in his face, just as I would have if Kurt had shown up before John.
One of the delightful readers I read for this week told me that my blog gently stretches the limits of her disbelief. Well, in this same way, my invisible friends are gently stretching my own disbelief – a yoga of the mind. They know just how much to show me and when. I feel I am in good hands.
The final thought I wrote down on my notepad for this entry is to share this realization: the learning never stops. Some people refer to earth as “hell” and can’t wait to be done and go back home to Heaven. Do these people realize their soul’s challenges follow them to the other side?
We get healing, we get rest, we get all the love and care we need in heaven. Yet, what I’m learning from John as well as from other spirits, is that we can still experience deep sorrow and loss in heaven. The conflict follows us to heaven and we continue to work through it there, though it doesn’t feel like such torture as it can here on earth.
So don’t wait to work on your shit here on earth. Don’t hope to escape the difficult spiritual work by dying and going to heaven. If we don’t take every opportunity to learn and grow in this life, to face our fears, our shortcomings, our darker sides, the more we carry with us into heaven, the more we carry with us into the next life.
Kate Sitka 