Past lives, Inner demons and more Crazy Talk!

Karmic Resonance

 

It’s that time again: when I let loose and write about something s *crazy* that even *I* considered holding this one back.

 

This all started two years ago when I began to self-regress in nightly meditation under the guidance of my kind and compassionate spirit friends.

 

Some of the things that came up during that time, I wrote about.  Some of them, I kept to myself.

 

See, our past lives are not always pretty.  We know how messy life on earth can get, and I’ve seen how easy it is to tie your identity and self-worth to a concept like “lightworker”.  Some people only want to look at the light in themselves.

 

My friends, we are not all pure and happy balls of light.  I do believe each one of us has light and shadow aspects of our spirit consciousness and our history.  I also believe that both aspects are a perfect expression of the euphoric, universal, we-are-all-one “god”.

 

I also believe that many of us, including me, have expressed terribly dark facets in past lives, even if, and maybe that’s precisely why, we’re “good people” now.

 

I do truly believe that all action, thought and experience creates an energetic impact, ripples that affect us in future lives and affect our past lives retroactively… because time is bendy like that.

 

These ripples, sometimes caused by us, sometimes initiated by others, create an energetic resonance (karma).

 

In meditation, you might reach a place of expansive consciousness, where this idea is downloaded and makes complete sense, until you go back into your human body and your brain starts to tell you it’s contradictory.  It *is* contradictory from the perspective of an incarnated being with a limited and linear life span.

 

I’ll give you an example from one of my meditations and my personal history.  If you’re having a down day, you might want to come back to this story later.

 

**

 

When I was seven years old, my adult teeth were coming in… except I was getting too many.  I had extra teeth, and this posed a problem.  Not only that, but my adult teeth were far too large for my jaw.  The only solution was to pull the extra teeth.

 

Getting teeth “extracted” is an incredibly unpleasant experience for an adult.  For a kid, it’s awful.  On top of that, our dentist was old-school.  He used *reusable* needles and glass syringes, which make the injection of the local anesthetic really painful.

 

The sickening maraschino cherry on top of this crap sundae is:  the local anesthetic didn’t really work.  So there I was, a seven year old kid, getting two or three teeth pulled at a time, screaming my head off, saying “it hurts!” and no one believed me.

 

I was an obedient child so it took three visits before I stood up for myself and refused to go back to the dentist.  I threatened to fight and to run away.  Finally, my parents took me seriously.

 

They found me a new dentist who used disposable needles, a different, effective anesthetic, and he even used a chocolate flavored topical anesthetic so I wouldn’t feel the needle as much.  He had five birds at his house, and would bring me colourful feathers as a present whenever I came to “visit”.  Eventually, I became this family’s babysitter of their five children, and I survived the subsequent necessary extractions without further trauma.

 

But I carried resentment with me for years.  How could my mother hear her kid screaming in pain and not come to help?  How could she bring her kid back there, and not investigate better options until I was so terrified I refused to cooperate?

 

Of course the rational brain kicks in.  Intellectually, I forgave my mother, but the trauma was still there.

 

One night, in meditation, sliding through the lifetimes looking for old wounds that needed healing, I came upon a life experience with such vivid, visceral certainty in the truth of these memories, that it shocked me to my very core.

 

I dropped into the body of a massive man, hunched at the shoulders from a lifetime of ducking under doorways and stooping to labor with tools too small for my body.  I was wearing filthy, oily leather armor, conscious of the chafing because I was not wearing the proper undergarments.  I was wearing only filthy protective clothing and a rusting metal helmet to hide my face, but no soft fabric because it would get ruined from the mess.  All the blood, and other body fluids.

 

I walked down a stone staircase and watched myself pull the teeth of other living humans, while another man in black robes asked them questions.

 

There I was, doing the bidding of a weak, cruel man, and I was bigger and stronger than anyone in the building.  I could have picked up this prisoner and walked them out of the compound, no one would have stopped me.  Instead I stayed and pulled his teeth, and the teeth of many others.

 

Then I understood why I had to experience a small part of the pain I’d inflicted as a result of the choices I’d made in a past life.  This was karma, settling itself.  The energetic resonance needed a harmonizing note, and my understanding of it released the last bits of resentment and anger I harbored towards my mother.

 

The last extraction I experienced was when I was nineteen, and I had all four wisdom teeth removed under general anesthetic.   My cheeks blew up into chipmunk size pouches for two weeks afterwards, and my face became discolored with bruises as though I’d sustained a terrible beating.

 

And I have not had one ounce of trouble from my teeth ever since.  Not one cavity, knock on wood.

 

I haven’t gotten to the really crazy part yet.  I think I’ll save that for tomorrow.  (Or the next blog entry, whichever comes first!)

 

Ep 24. Fleas, Angels Calling, Precognition and Spiritual Cheating!

24

 

Happy Tuesday!  It’s Podcast day!  Episode 24: Fleas, Angels, Precognition and Spiritual Cheating!  

The pets, Sunshine the Cat and Happy the dog took me on a bit of an introductory detour as we discussed fleas and grooming and their experience of topical flea pesticides.  Then we get down to business, following up with the questions from October 11th blog entry: No Wrong Way to Die.

We have gotten so much mileage from this post.  We ask and give possible answers to questions such as:

I forgot where I came from (spiritually) only because I wanted to remember again?

Because “heaven” is too wonderful and souls are eager to learn things the hard way? 

Because the time and temperature on earth is perfect for human habitation so why not?  Let’s be suffering humans? Really?!

Big existential questions, y’all!  I do my best.

Then MB came in with questions about Dowsing & Pendulums – how the heck to those things work?  And precognitive dreams, how do you know when you’ve had one?  How can you tell if it’s real???
And you get the context for this photo:
2014-01-01 angels calling

Rafters–Angels on Earth

soul bubble kate sitka

Last year I did a reading for the very first True Rafter I had ever met.  She wanted to look at her life plan, what her higher self had planned for her and the themes around her incarnation.

Basically she was asking, “What the heck am I doing here?”

I looked and was astounded by what I saw, clear as a bell in my mind, as though I was physically looking at her plan right in front of my eyes: a single piece of paper, with a single sentence written on it.

Help where help is needed.

Then I saw travel all over the world.  This help included everything from picking up a kid’s shoe that had fallen off his foot, to spending potentially years abroad working on grassroots projects in developing nations.  The possibilities were truly limitless, but the purpose was the same.

And then I saw unfolding angel wings, and I understood.

It was truly mind-boggling to me, because most of what I’ve read through the teachers I’ve encountered never made mention of high-resonance “angelic” beings incarnating in physical form.

I’ve talked about Angel Training, sure.  But I’d never before run into someone whose life plan was so profound and uncomplicated, and whose higher self showed me wings.

There are many potential ways to interpret this message, but I went with the certainty, the full-body *knowing* that came the moment I saw those wings. 

So I told her exactly what I saw, and what I thought.  Then I didn’t hear from her for months.  I couldn’t stop thinking about her, that reading completely rocked my world.  I felt like I’d caught a glimpse of El Dorado.  Then, one day I opened my email to see a message from her, which was a testimonial so beautiful it actually made me cry. 

This work is full of little miracles.

That reading opened my awareness to a whole new type of incarnation, one where you *don’t* have a plan.  You didn’t really need one, and you’re okay with that.

Rafters have a comfort zone that is bigger than the widest-ranging risks a most of us would ever take.  Big changes come easily to Rafters, they ride uncertainty and the unknown like a surfer on a wave. 

Want to move across the country with this person you just met? Take a job you’ve been offered and think you can do but really know nothing about?  Travel around the world for a few years with little money and no plan?  

Sounds just right to a Rafter. 

Rafters *know* it’ll always work out because it always DOES for them.  They’re not here strictly for their own development, they’re the “right place, right time” masters, and they’re the ones who hear the other angels the best.

Rafters might not even know that their impulses are really nudges from all the angels trying to help us all along.  Rafters are the angelic boots on the ground, they’re like the sleeper agents for the universe. 

Here’s the really awesome thing:  many of us have a sub-theme in life as a Rafter.  Remember this whole thing is a continuum, with Planners on one extreme, Wingers in the middle and Rafters on the other end.  There are a TON of people who have Rafter “phases” in life.  We might devote a decade or more to a Rafter time, before “growing up” and discovering true ambitions of our own. 

“True Rafters” (and by true, I mean those who incarnate with one sentence life plans) radiate an energy that so many people are attracted to.  They seem pure, innocent, optimistic, friendly and loving towards everyone.  Rafters simply can’t see a difference between one sort of person and another.  They might be perplexed when someone tries to tell them about “those people” but they can’t hold on to a judgement against “those people” or the person talking to them!

I’m reminded of my high school friend Ben who invited a homeless man in Toronto to stay with him, without even consulting his roommate who was standing right there!  It did not even occur to Ben that his friends might have a problem bringing this stranger home.  A True Rafter can only see the light in another person, and is only capable of seeing the best, highest-good action as an option in any given situation.

Remember this entry on Exit Points?  For Rafters, every day is a potential exit point.  THAT is how open their life plan is!  It’s a scary thought for a lot of people. 

Here’s a tough part for a lot of people: Rafters are sometimes victims of terrible crimes.  It was not necessarily planned when they came in to die in such a tragic way.  Rafters seem to be tapped, or seem to be asked to put themselves in the path of a human predator to divert this predator from another potential victim who does have a complex life plan. 

This is why it seems like the best, the brightest, the most radiant of people seem to end up as victims in this way. 

Likewise, Rafters are the ones struck down in their prime by sudden illnesses or accidents.  A rare disease will crop up out of nowhere and ruthlessly snuff out their light.  A car accident will end it all, or a fluke series of coincidences.  This golden child who always seemed to be on the right side of lady luck will suddenly seem to be crushed by a cruel and merciless world. 

Why do bad things happen to good people?  Well, because this world is a challenging place that’s full of random chance, a sort of organized chaos that is being actively managed by our own thoughts, our choices and the crazy-constant work of our guides, angels and spirit friends. 

For Rafters, they didn’t plan a specific exit point.  They can decide to be done at anytime.  They can be nudged towards an exit point that will teach doctors about a rare disease, or help bring awareness to a trend of violent crime.  Rafters do not hesitate to risk their lives helping others, and sometimes they do leave their bodies through one heroic act or another. 

For those left behind, sometimes you can obviously see the how this person’s death had a profound impact on the world, but more often the death seems random and senseless. 

What I’ve seen and heard through many readings, learned from many teachers, is that no death is random or senseless.  It may not have been planned ahead of time, but every death has retroactive purpose. 

Even the grieving process of those left behind is a lesson from a Rafter.  The death and the grief will motivate action and change, because people just can’t *stand* this particular senseless death.  Even in death, a Rafter’s influence has the uncanny knack of getting everyone involved in a good cause.

Update on Mom

happy pup kate sitka pet psychic

I know y’all are waiting anxiously on the Rafters entry, and I’ve missed my self-imposed deadline for the Biggie post.  The good news is you still have time to go back to the Biggie post and contribute your questions, if you have any.

Here’s what’s been going on:

Seven weeks ago, my mother had an MRI and was told it was fine – no sign of brain tumour regrowth.  Hurray!  There’s that pesky nausea they can’t seem to control, but from a statistical point of view, this is a win!

This week, her MRI indicated… something.  Maybe it’s scar tissue from the radiation, maybe it’s a re-growth.  If it’s a re-growth, they want to sign my mother up for a new trial with something they’re calling a “cyber knife” which is an experimental new technology.

Here’s where I’m coming from: if they can’t control the nausea, and my mother’s quality of life really hasn’t been what they told her it would be once she got through the radiation, why on earth are we considering more ways of prolonging life?

And has anyone actually sat down with my mother to talk about what *she wants*?

Some kind friends from the hospital have referred me to some advance care planning tools, and I’ve sent those along to my sister, and we both agree that it’s time to broach this topic with my parents.  My sister had planned to do this earlier, but then my father’s mother got sick and well… there have been a lot of funerals in my family in the past couple of years.

So this is the tone my upcoming visit to Ontario is taking: let’s do a care plan.  Let’s talk about all the difficult things that we, a good WASPy family, would never feel comfortable discussing.  Let’s somehow engage my mother, who is a master at shutting down conversation, in a difficult discussion about this illness and the possible turns it could take.

With all this on my mind, I just haven’t felt like doing the Rafter or the Biggie entry the past couple of days.  Instead, I just took the day off.

If anyone’s had experience in starting these difficult discussions with their family members, please email me your suggestions on conversation starters.  The best I’ve got right now is straight out of the Simpsons when Homer ate the poison sushi and the doctor handed Marge a brochure that said, So you’re going to die…

Love you all.

Ep 20. Names! How your handle matters!

what did you call me

 

What’s in a name?  How does your name affect the energy you experience?  How does you name affect other people?

And PET NAMES!  Do pet’s care what they’re called?  What happens if the don’t like their name?  I share stories about pets with opinions about their names.

Did you guys know that “Kate” is not my legal name, but my preferred name?  Find out why I changed it in this week’s episode!

 

Are you a Winger?

soul bubble kate sitka

 

Do you feel like there are a lot of potential things you could succeed at?  Do you feel enthusiastic about a LOT of different ideas?  Do you wonder what your Life’s Purpose is?  Do you feel guilty, as though you should narrow your interests down to one or two things as your “life path”?  Do you worry whether you’re doing what you’re “supposed to do?”

Do you worry you may be wasting your life?

Welcome to the life of a Winger!

I came up with this term because I have a lot of Wingers as clients who ask me about their life’s purpose, as though they’re supposed to have only one, and as though everything in their life will magically fall into place if they could only just PICK something!

While Planners are meticulous in what they set out for themselves before they incarnate, through conversations with many clients and their angels / guides over the years, it’s become clear that we need some new language around the idea of “Life Plans”. 

Planners are driven, they blaze through life, they’re focused and they can really help a winger decide on a course of action.  Again, planners are great advisors. 

Wingers are the ultimate creative spirits.  They’re driven to do… something!  Something amazing, something great!  What is it???

Nothing is more exciting to a Winger than a new beginning, a new venture, a new possibility.  Wingers start things over and over in their lives, and their lifetime can often be seen in clumps of themes over the years:

The childhood years, the student years, the child-rearing years, the divorce years, the new business years, the NEW new business years, the grieving years, the rebirth years.  Wingers lives go in cycles, and so do their moods, even their energy levels and outlook on life. 

Wingers can experience massive, sweeping changes in the fundamental parts of life that offer most other people a lot of stability: family, religion, location, careers, all of these things can undergo complete transformations within just one short lifetime.

That’s because Wingers’ INTENTION when they incarnated was to cover a bullet-point list of soulful experiences, and this “to do” list can be accomplished through the permutation of seemingly random events on earth. 

Wingers are on a lifelong road trip without a map, without hotel reservations, just a bucket list and a whole lot of faith in themselves.

I believe we have a WHOLE LOT MORE Wingers on the planet right now than ever before.  I have this theory because of the difference between myself and my psychic Oma (my paternal great-grandmother.)

My Oma was a remote-viewer.  She could tap into where missing people were, what their condition was, whether they were alive or dead, and if alive, when they would be able to come home.  She lived through both world wars, and her services were desperately needed and sought after by families all over Europe. 

When anyone asks me about their future, I always qualify it with a speech: the future is a series of potentials based on the possible choices of all involved.  So if you ask me should I move to Denver, Los Angeles or New York, I won’t pretend to tell you what “will” happen.  We can look at the potentials of those choices.

Why is now different than 80 years ago? 

We’re not at war, for starters.  Not in the way the world was terrorized by war back while my Oma lived.  80 years ago, people’s choices were limited by so many factors: their gender, their economic status, their birthplace and heritage, their religion, their culture and their government.  When a country went to war, the future of all of the people in that country was hardlined for at least a decade.

Young men went to war because they had to, (there was no where to run from conscription in WWI or II.) Women went to work and struggled to survive.  Battles unfolded all over the world, everyone’s life plans unfolded in a coordinated dance, everyone moving in unison, the whole planet grinding relentlessly forward, the war driven by politics and greed.

Now, in our neck of the woods, many of us in “first world” countries have so much opportunity.  We have our parents’ generation to thank for opening all of these options for us, and we’re breaking barriers in equality continually. 

Now we have freedom to move around the world, freedom to change locations, religions, to break out of gender-roles and break through socio-economic boundaries.

So why on earth would everyone incarnate into a new age of possibilities with heavily detailed life plans? 

You know what?  A bunch of us just decided to pick themes, maybe five or fifty, and incarnate just with this list, just with this intuitive awareness of things we like, things that make us happy.

And for some of us, that’s all the guidance we get in life.

What’s incredibly liberating for a Winger is just to *know* they’re a Winger.  We hear a lot of rhetoric about being “on track” with your life’s purpose.  That’s enough to make a Winger hyperventilate!

I’ve got a secret for all you fellow wingers out there:

You cannot screw this up.

You really can’t.  The worst thing you can do is make yourself unhappy worrying about what you *should* be doing.  Nothing kills creativity more than putting too much weight on outside advice.

You will never be a square peg in a square hole.  You’ll never fit quite right anywhere.  You’re not designed to fit!  You’re designed to be weird, to be different, to explore and to learn!

As long as you’re doing those things, as a winger, you’re on track!

Now, understand that you don’t have to be *only* a winger or a planner – you can be a combination of both.  There are a million different shades of winger / planner.  In fact, I think a lot of people are *mostly* planner, and when they get to a winger stage in their life, it seems like everything’s fallen apart. 

Combination wingers / planners live like a “choose your own adventure” book.  They come up to some major crossroads in their life which profoundly affects the direction of their life.  In those moments you’re looking at your list and yourself and you’re having a conversation with your “higher self” – which road do you take?

You will pick the right road, don’t worry. 

Wingers have a talent at looking back on their lives, mistakes and all, and not regretting a single moment because it all made them the person they are today.

And that was the whole point.

Do you have a Planner in your life?

cat budgie

(I couldn’t think of a photo to go with “Planners” – so you get a cat and a budgie!)

In Episode 14 of the Joyful Telepathy Podcast I introduced the idea of Planners, Wingers and Rafters as a way of looking at our life plans.

 

Life Plans are generally what people talk about when they mean “my soul’s purpose, my intention when I incarnated, my contract with the Divine.”

 

With the idea of a “Life Plan” came this anxiety that if you’re not “on track” with your life plan, not doing what you’re supposed to do, that this is the source of your anxiety, discontent, depression or unhappiness.

 

Just like universal manifestation ideas like “The Secret” can be erroneously boiled down into a blaming the person for their own unhappiness, the Life Plan idea has resulted in the same anxiety:

 

If I’m unhappy, I must be doing something terribly wrong.

 

Are we responsible for how we experience our lives?  OF COURSE.  There is so much you can do relieve the mental and emotional suffering you experience when life rains crap.

 

But where is the crap coming from?  Is THAT your Life Plan?

 

Maybe.  It depends on whether you’re a Planner, Winger or Rafter.

 

I’m going to split this up into three posts over the next three days, so keep checking back!  Today, we’ll cover Planners.

 

Everyone knows Planners.  You can spot them a mile away.  Planners never ask me to look at their life plan, they’re so intuitively plugged into what they want to do next that they have difficulty relating to people who experience a lot of uncertainty.

 

Planners have excellent saving habits (because they’re so plugged into the future and what they want to do) and Planners seem to have a near-limitless amount of energy.  They were born with a drive to burn through a Divine To Do List with a thousand little action items!

 

Planners are the ones who seem to get ALL the lucky breaks.  If they incarnated with a Life Plan to touch the lives of millions of people, that fame comes very easily to them – they’re always in the right place at the right time.

 

Wingers can get very discouraged if they compare themselves to Planners.

 

Here’s a secret about Planners:  they experience the same level of spiritual challenge as everyone else.  It doesn’t always LOOK like they’re struggling, which is another great Planner characteristic – on the ground floor, Planners can intuitively sense what they need to do next.

 

That doesn’t make it easy.

 

My grandfather’s mother was a planner.  She had many children and an extremely difficult life.  Yet, her whole life, she always “did what needed doing,” and she didn’t waste a lot of time agonizing about it.

 

Planners put so much detail into their life plans, they’re capable of setting up some of the greatest spiritual challenges on earth.   Their life plan may not actually be about their individual sentient consciousness.  In fact, a Planner can end up taking on a massive karmic burden (past-life baggage that needs to be worked out on the other side or in future lives.)

 

Planners often come in to make a big splash, and they often make huge sacrifices for the team.

 

They volunteer to provide this life experience so that others can be affected by their story.  They’re challenging, they’re controversial and many planners die in dramatic and shocking ways.

 

Who do you think may be a planner? 

Mom eats chocolate!  

juliette kate sitka pet psychic

(Juliette the Bichon Frise)

Before I had an official psychic business, I was doing pet readings for friends and clients by word-of-mouth referral.  This little bichon, Juliette, is my friend’s dog and she’s had so many funny things to say over the years!

Juliette is probably the most demanding and diva-esque dog I’ve ever met, although I spoke to a lovely little Yorkie named Sophie who had a long, thought-out list of special requests for her person too.

With Sophie, she came up with the requests in part because she knows her human enjoys fulfilling her needs so much – so she invents a few extra needs.  She’s a 5lb dog in a big world, after all.  Who wouldn’t want a pillow by the bed to land on?

Juliette has a very natural life out and about in the British Columbia wilds.  In fact, I’m pretty sure her ancestors have been pampered city dogs for generations.  Juliette gives me the impression of a humourous, slightly-put-out, female gentile in the wild, wild west, who has adapted to and adores the rugged environment that is now her home, but who hasn’t forgotten the comforts of a more civilized existence.  This is reflected in her requests before her Mom travels.

They do always know where you’re going, what you’re doing, so don’t even think you can pull one over on your pet!

Juliette knows when her Mom is headed to the city, and comes up with city-specific requests.  She loves doggie boutiques because the staff always fuss over her and tell her how pretty she is, and she’s one of those dogs who enjoys new collar, a variety of coats, a special, gourmet dog treat to eat.

Juliette also knows when her Mom is eating one thing, but thinking she really *should* be eating something else.  Juliette has consistently reported her Mom’s guilty snacking.  Mom eats popcorn.  Mom eats chips.  Mom ate chocolate – and I didn’t get any!

Juliette doesn’t really care whether Mom eats treats or not, she just reports on the state of emotional eating.  As her Mom was going through one heck of a stressful time, Juliette was really reporting on the things her Mom did to make herself feel better.

It’s really funny what they notice.  I get a kick out of it, anyway.

 

Ep.18 Psychic Protection for Children

psychic protection for children kate sitka

 

I know a lot of you beautiful folks were extra-sensitive as children, and I know at least two of you have extremely sensitive or possibly psychic children.  Here’s an episode for the sensitive child in all of us… and I share the slightly embarrassing visualization technique my mother taught to me to control the nightmares I experienced as a child.

Episode 18:  Psychic Protection for Children

 

 

Faithiness

Faith has become such an important part of my practice this past year. I had a little crisis of faith a while back, and I really needed the support of an intelligent universe. I’d say I’ve received it in spades, although not in a way that I could hold up to others as evidence. You know how that goes.

Most recently, I’ve been contemplating taking a really big leap. I’m still standing on the edge, looking down, thinking about it. I have strongly mixed feelings about leaps of faith. True, every time I’ve taken a leap of faith I’ve ended up better off… but sometimes it feels like you’re smashing against every rock on

the way down.

I was emailing a friend about it, and she said “The Universe has got your back.”

My response? Effing prove it, universe.

That afternoon, I wrote a long letter to the universe, as I tend to do when I feel like the Universe and I need to take a meeting. I outline all my concerns, my goals, what I need, what would be most awesome.

Then I toss it into the court of the Universe. Your move.

I can’t even remember what the reply was – Sweetie, do you remember? All I know is when I got the response, I immediately *knew* it was confirmation. Yes, the Universe has my back. So when I’m ready, all I have to do is jump.

Your move, Kate, quoth the Universe.

Sometimes we need some freaking evidence to lift up our faith in… ourselves? Deity? Angels? Guides?

I’m curious, what have you guys experienced as evidence that supported your faith in the things unseen?